Things I Don't Understand

A Quick List of Some Things I Don’t Understand:

 

• Why the standard length of a “big” movie has gone from 2 hours to 2 ½.  Please movie guys, bigger isn’t better.  These special effects movies are obliterating our senses.  I love them, but I’m numb, and I have to go to the bathroom after I drink that $6 Diet Coke that doubles my liquid intake for the day.  I don’t know many people that like Woody Allen anymore, except me – but he makes a short, concise, to the point movie.  Laugh and go home.  I went to see Vicky Christina Barcelona.  Good laughs, lesbian kiss, now go home. 

 

• Smoking.  Imagine 100 years from now, when it has been over for 50 years and we try to explain it.  "Let me get this straight – you inhaled smoke into your lungs?  On purpose?"

 

• Why Sarah Jessica Parker is a star.  Who thought she was good looking?  Never thought she was attractive, nor very compelling as an actress.  Which brings me to...

 

• Why there was never any real sex in Sex in the City.  Thought it was tame and lame, and about as funny as “Friends.” I thought it should’ve been called Shoes in the City.  (Check out Weeds on Showtime if you want to see something funny.)

 

• Why the right wingers, the religious right, the conservatives – are so nasty.  The negative campaigning that has been sent to me by email, usually about Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton is unbelievably nasty – and unbelievable.   I can’t figure out why people who (usually) confess such high morals would employ such tactics.  I’ll call it the Limbaugh/Rove phenomenon and wonder how people can act this way.  What ever happened to discussions of issues?  Makes me long for the good old days of meaningless campaign promises.

 

• Why the Republican party is so good at winning elections and so bad at governing.  Why the Democratic party is good at talking and so bad at winning elections.

 

• Why the central figure in rebuilding the 9th Ward of New Orleans is an actor? See http://www.makeitrightnola.org if you don’t believe me. 

 

• Why Pacman Jones is back in the NFL so fast.  Am I the only one who thinks any other owner but Jerry Jones would have had to wait longer?  If it looks like a fish and smells like a fish, it’s fishy.

 

• Why hair is so important.  To solve the energy crisis I say we take the money we spend on hair products and use it to develop solar power.

 

• Why we are so shortsighted in our energy planning.

 

• Why the Saints refuse to hand the ball to Pierre Thomas.  Nothing against Aaron Stecker, for example – he’s a nice ball player.  But, Pierre is a real RUNNING BACK.  In the one game he actually started, he only did what no Saints running back in 40 years has done – rush for 100 and catch passes for 100.  What am I missing?  Does he fumble the ball every play in practice?  Does he spill Gatorade?  Is he a bad guy?  Give him the ball 20 times a game already.  He produces.

 

• Why we think Senators can make effective Presidents. Idon’t think either of the candidates sound too bad, but let’s face it – all they’ve done is vote.  They haven’t proven that they have the administrative skills to lead or govern.  Would we let a Supreme Court judge become President?  Different branches – different functions, different skill sets.  Here we go, rolling the dice again…..

 

• Why our Presidential race is deteriorating into such mud slinging.  Wouldn’t it be nice if they both just gave us their plan and tried to sell it to us?  Here’s my mud, because I’m thunderstruck on this one….

 

• How we can have a Presidential candidate who admits he knows nothing about computers or the internet.  What?  This man is going to run an economy he can’t possibly understand, and lead us in the global competition that we’re in?  Does the man who runs your company have computer skills?  How would you feel if he got replaced by someone who didn’t?  My mother, several years older than McCain, can surf the net on her dial up connection.  And I thought she was out of touch because she was still on dial-up.  We’re about to elect a man who hasn’t dialed up yet!

 

• Why Jason David still has a roster spot on the Saints.

 

• Why hotel rooms have no receptacles.  I usually spend my first few minutes when I arrive holding an iron and wondering where to plug it in.

 

• And lastly, I don’t understand why race is still an issue in this country.  But, I do know what’s finally going to put race as an issue to bed.  Bed.  That’s right, sex.  Young people, let’s say under 30, don’t care.  They’ve been brought up in an era where intermingling with a wide variety of cultures, races, ethnic groups, is a way of life. They’ve been brought up with Diversity. They embrace it as all they know. They date, they party, and they have sex.  They don’t see race anymore.  They don’t care.  So, now the population is divided into those who embrace change and growth, and those who fight it.  But, that’s always been true, hasn’t it?