2012 Movie Ranking

Here it is.  My Ranking of every movie I saw in 2012, best to worst.  Making up this list is harder than it looks, because there’s a whole lot of hair splitting going on. 
I saw 4 movies that I thought were truly great (the top 4 obviously).  Here’s a coup – Joseph Gordon-Leavitt appeared in the top 3.  I saw one movie that I thought was the worst I’d ever seen – One for the Money.  Then along came 7 Psychopaths, which was wretched and offensive, and it takes a lot to offend me.    This time I’m publishing my ranking for each movie.
Anyway, enjoy. And, keep in mind – just one guy’s opinion.

The Dark Knight Rises -10
Lincoln - 10
Looper - 10
Zero Dark Thirty – 10
Argo - 9
Parental Guidance -9
Jack Reacher – 9
The Grey - 9
Premium Rush - 9
Cloud Atlas – 8

Winter’s Bone (2010) - 8
The Artist – (2011) - 8
Cabin in the Woods – 8
The Ides of March (2011) - 8
The Bourne Legacy – 8
Martha Marcy May Marlene (2011) - 8
Savages – 8
Drive (2011) - 8
Rock of Ages - 8
Pitch Perfect – 8
The Five Year Engagement - 8
Ted – 8
Flight – 8
Hope Springs – 8
The Hunger Games - 8
Django Unchained -8
21 Jump Street – 8
Catfish (2010) - 8
Seeking a Friend for the End of the World - 8
Total Recall – 8
Game Change – (HBO Movie) - 7
Safe House - 7
Les Miserables – 7
Chronicle - 7
Arbitrage – 7
Underworld Awakening - 7
Prometheus – 7
The Dictator – 7
Contraband - 7
Wanderlust – 7
End of Watch – 7
Haywire - 7
The Master – 6
Sparkle – 6
Sleep Walk With Me - 6
Sinister - 6
This is 40 – 6
Faster – (2010) - 6
Skyfall -  5
The Avengers – 5
Chernobyl Diaries - 4
The Amazing Spiderman - 4
Taken 2 – 4
One for the Money - 1
Seven Psychopaths – 0

My Awards
Best Picture – The Dark Knight Rises
Best Director – Christopher Nolan, The Dark Knight Rises
Best Actor – Daniel Day-Lewis – Lincoln
Best Actress – Jessica Chastain – Zero Dark Thirty
Best Supporting Actor – Tom Cruise – Rock of Ages
Best Supporting Actress – Anne Hathaway – Les Miserables
Best Screenplay – Rian Johnson - Looper

Check out what the real critics think here:
http://www.metacritic.com/feature/top-ten-lists-best-movies-of-2012

 

Final 2012 Movie Addendum

I made one final push to catch some of last year's movies:

Zero Dark Thirty – 10
You’ll like this movie if you like
a.  Manhunts
b.  Great storytelling
c.  The next Meryl Streep
Turns out The Hurt Locker was no fluke.  Director Kathryn Bigelow is one hell of a story teller.  I have no idea how much of this movie is truth and how much is fiction, but it is a riveting recreation of the 10 year manhunt for Usama Bin Laden. 

Jessica Chastain plays Maya, a CIA operative whose 12 year career has been all about tracking Bin Laden.  She is the centerpiece of this film.  Jessica is the Meryl Streep of today, as it now appears she can play any role.  She’s not flashy here, but totally believable as her obsessive tracking of Bin Laden in the face of resistance from all sides, is what makes this film so enthralling. 

The movie covers a lot of ground, but never takes a misstep.  This is movie making at its finest.

Django Unchained – 8
You’ll like this movie if you like
a.  Tarantino
b.  Carnage
c.  Revenge
You must understand one thing about villains in a Quentin Tarantino film.  They have extremely high blood pressure, and that blood is bright red.  Consequently, every gunshot is a direct hit on a highly pressurized artery that explodes like it has been dynamited.  With each passing movie, these explosions get bigger and bigger.  Let’s hope this movie is the culmination of exploding artery syndrome.

Now I like arterial fireworks as much as the next guy, but it’s the storytelling of movies like Pulp Fiction and the Kill Bill’s that makes me a Tarantino fan.  His depiction of slavery is properly gruesome and  Django has some brilliant comedy in it.  In fact its comedy moments make me hope that someday Tarantino will write a straight comedy.  There’s some great action, but it is so over the top in blood and gore, well it’s as funny as it is anything else.  For some reason the parts don’t equal the whole that it should.  The movie meanders slowly and bloodily to an inevitable conclusion, and I’d give Quentin the same piece of advice I’d give most of today’s bladder busting directors:  Two hours is better than two and a half hours. 

Ted – 8
You’ll like this movie if you like
a.  Raunchy comedy
b.  Seth McPharlane
c.  Teddy Bears
Coming from the pen of Seth McPharlane I expected a little more unconventional comedy.  Nevertheless, this rather simple and predictable story of a talking Teddy Bear hits all the right notes on its trip to comedy gold.  It’s not always pretty, it’s not always pleasant, and it’s certainly tasteless at times.  But, it’s fun.

Mark Wahlberg, plays a Boston adult (and nobody does Boston better, probably because he's from Boston) who grows up with a Teddy Bear who has come to life and expects to be a companion for life.  That is until girlfriend Mila Kunis tires of their childish behavior and inexplicably decides to keep Mark and kick Ted to the curb.  Hilarity ensues.  Just go with it.

Wanderlust – 7
You’ll like this movie if you like
a.  Jennifer Anniston
b.  Paul Rudd
c.  Hippies
This isn’t too bad as Jennifer Anniston movies go.  It helps that Paul Rudd is a solid comedic actor for her to play off of.  Their relationship actually seems real.  When Paul gets laid off, they are forced to abandon their beloved Manhattan and head to Atlanta.  After the story takes them to a hippie type commune, their relationship gets tested.  Nicely written and nicely acted, there’s nothing special here, just a nice little comedy.

At the Cinema - December 2012

Les Miserables – 7
You’ll like this movie if you
a.  Liked the Broadway Play
b.  Like Anne Hathaway
c.  Like singing dialogue

If you are an aficionado of the long-running Broadway play Les Miserables, you’ll probably love this flim adaptation.  Many of the early crowds probably fit that description, and the Christmas Day opening crowd was certainly enthusiastic.

I never had the chance to see the Broadway play, and so I’ll have to judge this on its own, knowing next to nothing about the original.  I would summarize it this way.  They had me at goodbye.

While it’s a very impressive production, other than Anne Hathaway’s scenes (which are knockouts) the movie suffers from excessive length, strange casting, and mediocre music.  When the characters are singing songs, some are impressive.  When they are singing their dialogue, and repetitively at that, they just don’t connect, at least with me.  I'm sure the soundtrack is legendary, but the first and only time I heard it, and I hate to be a music critic, but...blah.

Anne Hathaway will probably get an Oscar nomination for her role, and she’s riveting in her short time on screen.  Hugh Jackman was up to the task as the main character, Jean Valjean.  I have no idea why Russell Crowe was cast in a pivotal singing role.  His acting is fine, but his singing is like listening to paint dry.  They could have cast James Gandolfino.  At least he was a soprano (ha). 

But more than anything else the movie makes you want to go to the bathroom.  It’s of standard blockbuster length at 158 minutes, and it is just too long.  More than anything else, this is a movie that needs editing.  It’s hard for any movie to hold attention for 2 and a half hours, much less one with singing dialogue.  I love musicals.  Not this one.  I couldn't wait to say Goodbye.

This is 40 = 6
You’ll like this movie if you like
a.  long build-ups
b.  Judd Apatow
c.  Paul Rudd
Trust me when I say that Les Miz is downright economical in its editing when compared to this disaster.
That’s not to say there aren’t some wildly funny scenes.  The problem is that they are spread out over an intolerably long time frame.  Apatow thinks he’s doing Shakespeare, when he needs to be doing Woody Allen.  Say what you want about Woody, but he knows how to bring home the bacon in 90 minutes.  Even if you hate his movie, you’re in and out and you can get on with your life. 
Apatow doesn’t want you to leave the theater.  He’s got a gift for racy, raunchy comedy.  Let’s hope he finds an editor that has the guts to cut him down to a viewable size.

Parental Guidance – 9
You’ll like this movie if you like
a.  crisp comedy
b.  Billy Crystal
c.  A Heartwarming story
This movie is a very traditional comedy.  It’s a clear 3 act story  that is crisp, concise, and consistently funny.  You know exactly where the story is going, and you may even know how it’s going to get there, but it’s a wonderful little ride of comedy and warmth.

Billy Crystal and Bette Midler play the parents of Marisa Tomei, and that’s a great movie right there.  Marisa is the mother of 3 youngsters who Billy and Bette haven’t connected with yet.  They’ve got a week to do it, and that’s your story.  What else do you need?  Not much as it turns out.  They had me at Hello.

Jack Reacher – 8
You’ll like this movie if you like
a.  Tom Cruise
b.  Pittsburgh
c.  Action
Apparently the Jack Reacher literary fans are saying Tom Cruise is miscast as the title character.  They better get used to it, as it appears Cruise is launching another franchise.  Like most Cruise movies, this is a first class production.  Its action scenes are well executed, well placed, and believable.  How did Cruise miss out on playing Jason Bourne?

Jack Reacher is a former army investigator who now lives life “off the grid.”  He’s summoned by an accused sniper to a Pittsburgh crime scene that appears to be an open and shut case.  If it were, there wouldn’t be a movie.  How Reacher unravels it, with the help of the defense attorney, is great stuff.  The use of the Pittsburgh terrain is also wonderful. 

Way better than I expected, but then the movie had me at, you know, the beginning.

Saints Report # 16 - December 30, 2012

That thud you heard was the curtain coming down on a most unpleasant Saints season as they lost to the lowly Carolina Panthers for a second time in 2012.  The final score was 44 – 38 but the game wasn’t really that close.  The game was a microcosm of the whole season.  The offense, led by Drew Brees (who threw for his 3^rd 5000 yard passing season) ultimately couldn’t keep up with the defense’s porous ways.

As I sat in my seat in the dome amongst a crowd that was about half as enthusiastic as usual, I have to confess that I had that old sinking feeling.  There was never a point at which I felt like the Saints were going to win.

There was only one point when I felt good, and it was short lived.  When Johnny Patrick picked up an apparent fumble and raced into the end zone for what should have been their second defensive touchdown of the day and should have put the Saints ahead 31 – 13 I began to dream of an 8-8 season finish.  But the referees, whom I usually don’t say too much about, made the worst call since replay was instituted, and their explanation made it worse.  They couldn’t see a clear recovery.  I guess Patrick standing in the end zone wasn’t a clear enough indicator.  About 60 seconds later Deangelo Williams made another big run and the Panthers brought it to 24-20 and the Saints were on their way to total deflation.  Brees and company couldn’t keep up, as they continued to call plays like they’re playing a video game.  Sean Payton’s return to play-calling will be very welcome, thank you.

But the Saints offense is certainly good enough to win in the NFL.  Hats off to the stalwarts.  Brees was as productive as usual, although he was forced to force the ball in a little too often.  Pierre Thomas was their most consistent player on offense.  Marques Colston now has a record 58 touchdowns as a Saint, and he and Lance Moore topped 1000 receiving yards.  No one can cover Darren Sproles.  Mark Ingram continues to improve, although he hasn’t been a difference-maker.  Joseph Morgan showed some promise, and will probably take over completely for Devery Henderson next year.  Jimmy Graham continues to be a most tempting target for Brees, although he led the league in drops.  Yes, the weapons are there.

No, the Saints can spend the off-season worrying about a defense that gave up over 7000 yards to set an NFL record.   There’s one inescapable fact about the Loomis/Payton era:  They can’t evaluate defensive talent like they can offensive talent.  Their free agent/late round picks on offense (Colston, Moore, Ivory, Thomas, Evans, Graham) consistently outperform their first round picks on defense (Robinson, Jordan, Smith, Ellis, Jenkins, etc.)  Now in fairness, success pushes you down the draft list, so we’re not talking about high first round here.  We don’t get too many shots at the defense elite like Willis, Suh, or Von Miller.  Every defensive interior free agent we bring in has struggled.  Spags is a proven defensive wizard, but here’s the problem:  the NFL is changing with the more mobile quarterbacks and no team is less equipped to chase them than the lethargic Saints.  They never generated a pass rush all year and any desired nastiness only occurred after the whistle.  To make matters worse, the pass-happy offense didn’t control the clock or give the defense any rest.  Unless Payton was snacking when the Saints didn’t have the ball, he’s seen all this and has to be considering a total overhaul of defensive personnel.

Drew Brees constantly references the character of the locker room.  I’m sure it’s wonderful.  But, character can’t tackle.  To quote Maverick, “I feel the need, the need for speed.” 

So here’s an interesting debate.  Which program had a worse 12 months – New Orleans or Penn State? The money and power that was at stake led to the same inevitable stupidity – the cover-up.  Both have been embarrassed and will be associated with scandal for some time.  The major difference of course is the age of the victims.  While Penn State’s administration chose to look away from horrible acts, the Saints administration chose to embrace a culture that was a rules violation, in an adult league.  Roger Goodell probably blew it out of proportion, and he certainly punished the fans disproportionately with all the concurrent suspensions.   What’s the end result? 

Well, Sean Payton probably isn’t too contrite.  His value has been reaffirmed as the team slid back to mediocrity without him, and he’s got a contract making him the highest paid NFL coach in his pocket.  His leverage in negotiations improved with each passing week.  He’s obviously an arrogant tyrant in a profession that generally rewards those qualities.  Seven fired coaches attest to the value of the rarest of individuals who can effectively handle an NFL franchise for any length of time.  Ultimately, Goodell probably emboldened him.  Time will tell.  Calling reporters and cussing them out when they write something negative is neither mature, nor the best use of time.  Here’s hoping he maintains his edge, but also has a year’s worth of expensive perspective to draw on.

With an off season of less drama, and two important contracts to not talk about, I’ve said it about 45 times before, and I’ll say it again.
Wait til next year.