Saints Report # 3 - September 27, 2015

The NFL season is 3 games in, and before any more quarterbacks get hurt, I move we proceed immediately to the Super Bowl with New England and Arizona.  It would be entertaining, and would feature the two teams that are playing really good football.

Meanwhile, the New Orleans Saints continued what looks like is going to be another lost season, falling to 0-3 with a 27-22 loss to the Carolina Panthers.   The Saints were in position to win on the final drive, but that position evaporated with 4 dropped passes and one of several poor coaching decisions which ended up as an end zone interception.

Luke McCown, filling in during Drew Brees’ first game missed due to injury since high school, operated the short passing game very crisply as the Saints, despite the usual lack of running game, moved the ball fairly well all day.  Then, with a chance to win and possession of the ball with 3 minutes left, Willie Snead missed a pass, followed by Marques Colston dropping three.  Inexplicably Sean Payton decided to go for a touchdown prematurely and McCown threw his only bad pass of the day, a lob to 5’10” Brandin Cooks resulting in an end zone interception.  There was 1:15 left on the clock and Carolina had no timeouts.  It’s 3^rd and 4 from the 24, we’re moving the ball, we’re chewing the clock on a potential game winning drive – yep a perfect time for a pass into the end zone.  That was Payton’s second bad coaching decision of the day.   With two timeouts remaining, it was an ideal time to take 2 shots at a first down and continue the march.  Payton’s impatience was front and center. 

The Saints jumped off to a 10-0 lead in the first half, but when the Carolina pulled within 3, Payton made his first poor coaching decision.  Knowing that the Panthers would be getting the 2^nd half kickoff, the Saints had driven to their own 39 with 6 minutes left in the half.  They were victimized by a very poor spot by the referees, and facing 4^th and one, the Saints punted when they should have gone for it.  Had they been successful, and driven for a touchdown they would have gone ahead 17 – 7.  Instead they punted, and Carolina drove the ball to a tying field goal to go in to the half 10-10.  Punting is the enemy when you have a sub-par team.

In the second half rookie Marcus Murphy bailed this decision out with a 74 yard punt return for a touchdown leading to the question, why isn’t he part of the offense more?  He could be spelling “hit the wrong hole” Mark Ingram, and add a little quickness to an offense that can’t run the ball.   Does anyone else get the feeling that the personnel “packages” are tired and predictable?

Meanwhile the Saints fans still moan about players that aren’t here, especially Jimmy Graham and Darren Sproles.  Such is life in the salary cap NFL.

Patriot fans miss Vince Wolfork (although not much).  The Patriots have never hesitated to cut loose a player a year early.

Eagle fans are complaining that DeSean Jackson, Jeremy Maclin, LeSean McCoy, and Nick Foles are gone.

Ravens fans complain that Torrey Smith is gone.

Denver fans complain that Julius Thomas is gone.

Dallas fans complain that DeMarco Murray is gone.

Carolina fans complain that Steve Smith is gone.

And so it goes.

There are actually positive signs for the Saints.  Swann and Breaux look promising at defensive back.  Anthony looks promising at Linebacker.  The National Media is calling for the Saints to be blown up.  Got news for them.  It’s already happening.

 . 

However, it’s important to note there are some things the Saints can’t do:

They can’t run the ball.  This is the biggest deficiency They can’t pressure the opposing Quarterback.

 They can’t keep the opposing Quarterback contained in the pocket. 

 They can’t blitz

 They can’t cover speedy receivers.  At least Brandon Browner can’t, and it’s a coaching problem that  he’s been matched up with them.  The thinking was he would be covering the Vincent Jacksons, not  the Ted Ginns

 They can't avoid penaltie
 They can’t win the turnover battle.  They can giveth, but they can’t taketh awayeth. 

 They can't avoid penalties 
 They can’t catch the ball.  The receiving corps has been underwhelming to say the least.

 They can’t convert 2 point conversions and they’re not automatic on 1 pointers, as they missed one of each.  They’re still running the Lance Moore 2 point conversion play from the Super Bowl and it hasn’t worked since the Super Bowl.

   

So, where do we go from here?  If the Saints can turn the corner on injuries, like getting Jairus Byrd on the field, or Keenan Lewis, and continue to improve on defense, about mid-year they may turn the corner.

However, Rob Ryan has to find a way to pressure the Quarterback into some mistakes, and I frankly don’t know how he’s going to do it.  The defensive line is young and clueless.  Someone wrote that Sunday the Saints had $78 million in contract money not on the field. 

That’s not a quick fix, it’s a mortgage that needs a long term loan.  

Saints Report # 2 - September 20, 2015

The New Orleans Saints are streaking.  Backwards.  They haven’t won this year.  They stumbled and bumbled and fumbled their way to a 26-19 loss to the lowly Tampa Bay Buccaneers Sunday.  That’s their 6^th straight home loss, after 20 straight home wins.  Drew Brees has always talked about his tennis days as a foundation for his footwork.  Well suddenly the Saints can’t hold their serve.  They took on a team that they had beaten 7 times in a row.  That streak is over. 

We know this.  The Saints have a proud tradition of making stars of new quarterbacks and Sunday they worked their magic on rookie Jameis Winston, who put on a horrible display last week.  I truly believe the Saints lost this game the day the Bucs picked up Ryan Griffin off waivers from the Saints.  For most of the game the mediocre Buc defense seemed to have the Saints play calls sniffed out.  I’m thinking the Bucs gave Griffin a game ball for his garbage dump of information.  In addition the Bucs were an embarrassed team after week one.  Danger, you could see this coming from a mile away. 

Meanwhile, I think there are 5 things critical to winning football:

1    1) Protect your Quarterback.  The Saints can't do it.  Brees was under constant duress, and there’s one thing we know about Brees at this point – He needs a good foundation to throw from, and he was dancing with the stars all day.  He also got hurt early and it affected him to some extent.  He was under duress, and off target most of the day. 

2.  2)  Pressure the other team’s Quarterback.  Can't do it.  Despite 2 sacks, they really provided little pressure and Jameis Winston sat back in the pocket and got a good look, a really good look, and knew what to do with what he saw.

     3)  Stop the Run.  Can’t do it.  Where’s the beef?  It’s there, it’s just frozen.  That big girthed defensive line got chewed up all day.  

     4) Run the Ball.  Can’t do it.  There’s a couple of reasons for this.  First, the line is not opening holes.  Secondly, it’s time to accept the fact that Mark Ingram is not an NFL running back.  Not only is he averaging a whopping 3.1 yards a carry, he threw in a critical fumble that killed the Saints in the 4^th quarter.  Meanwhile Khiry Robinson who is averaging 5.2 YPC ignited the team on several occasions with some dynamic running that got the Saints rolling in the second half, only to be replaced by Mark Mediocrity. 

5   5)  Win the turnover battle.  Besides a muffed punt, the Saints threw in the two fumbles to match the Buc’s number as the Bucs were trying to desperately fumble the game back to the Saints.

There are other problems.  The Saints receiving corps was not getting open, and this may be due to The Ryan Griffin effect, or it may be that none of them should be in the NFL.  Colston still knows how to get open, but when Brandin Cooks, who looks like a great slot receiver, is your ace, you’re in trouble.  As the rarely coherent Bobby Hebert pointed out on his radio show, can you name another team on which Cooks would be the number one option?  What if the Saints had drafted one of the 4 wide receivers who came after Andrus Peat in the first round, instead of Peat?

I can’t help but look at the last two drafts, and think what might have been.  Neither Peat nor Grayson are going to help anytime soon, although it’s possible that Zach Strief, who gave up 3 sacks and played his worst game ever, may be replaced by Peat soon. 

Throw in a questionable decision by Payton to go for 2, a blocked extra point, a missed field goal, and missed tackles in the hundreds, an interception, and this is a team this is more out of sorts than Hillary Clinton.  There are a lot of new bodies on the field and it’s more jammed than jelled at this point.  It was a miracle the Saints could have tied on the last play of the game.  But, it was a miracle that the Saints didn’t deserve and so they are now 0-2 and travelling to 2-0 Carolina next weekend.  That doesn’t bode well.

Saints Report # 1 - September 13, 2015

The New Orleans Saints opened the NFL season by taking their 25 new faces on a field trip to the desert, so that they could learn one of the Saints traditions – bad trips west.

The Saints lost to the speedy Arizona Cardinals 31-19.  They showed a little promise and a lot of vulnerability.

Offensive Summary

The Good News – Drew Brees was fairly sharp, going 30 – 48 for 355 yards with one interception on a ball that Marques Colston popped up into the air. 

The Bad News – throwing 48 passes in a game is not a recipe for success, especially on the road, and much of the yardage came on a few long runs after catch. Otherwise it was dink and more dink.

The Good News – The offense produced some big plays.   Ingram had a long run with a flair pass that he should have taken all the way, and Willie Snead’s only catch went for over 60 yards.  Most of the passes were dump offs with the hope they would be converted to something more.   Running Backs accounted for 14 completions. 

The Bad News – The offense never found a real rhythm and the new receiving corps is not going to make anyone forget the Super Bowl run just yet.  The Saints throw an awful lot of screen passes, and it appears the league has noticed. 

The Good News – Payton tried to call running plays

The Bad News – Mark Ingram is still the featured back, and his next juke will be his first.  Khiry Robinson showed some fight, but overall the running game was terrible.  As usual.  The running plays just appear to be slow to develop.  The Saints were outrushed 120 – 54 and averaged 2.7 yards per carry, which is a slow train to nowhere, which is apparently where Pierre Thomas is lounging, thinking about his career average of 4.5 YPC.

The Good News – the Saints got into the red zone 5 times.

The Bad News – they settled for field goals 4 of those times.  Yes, Jimmy Graham would have helped, but it doesn’t appear that Brees has any confidence in throwing into the end zone with this group yet, so if you like swing passes (that get stuffed) this is the team for you. 

The Good News – the offensive line protected Brees pretty well.

The Bad News – the offensive line didn’t open any holes for the runners

Defensive Summary

The Good News – the many youngsters on defense played fairly well, showing speed and pursuit

The Bad News – they got torched on a few plays

The Good News – the defensive backs made some good breakups. 

The Bad News – they made it rain yellow flags too

The Good News – the defensive line showed signs of a pass rush.  They put a little pressure on Carson Palmer

The Bad News – they did not control the Cardinals’ running game.

Couching Summary

The Good News – The offense accounted for over 400 yards. 

The Bad News – And I really hate to say this but Payton’s offense is getting stale and predictable.  He relies on run after catch, instead of throwing the ball over the down marker or into the end zone.  Is he feeling burned by last year’s interceptions?  Has he lost his nerve?  Has the NFL caught on to the route tree?  And the really bad news is that with only 4 wide receivers on the roster, there are a couple of problems.  Brandon Coleman may eventually be the red zone threat to replace Jimmy Graham, but there’s no confidence there.  Brandin Cooks is obviously our only threat, and defenses are going to double team him all year.  Willie Snead looks good, but contributed a drop.  And the worst news is that Marques Colston does not look good.  He didn’t play much in preseason, and either is not being counted on, doesn’t appear ready for the season, or has lost another step which he could ill afford.

Let me sum up by saying that this is a very young team with a lot of talent but lack of discipline.  There are new bodies everywhere, and you can’t teach experience, you have to get it.  There were several times during this game when the Saints could have gone for it on 4^th down, but instead played it safe.  Kicking the ball away when you are behind and there's less than 2 minutes on the clock, as they did, is a gamble that only a dominant defensive team takes.  The Saints definitely aren't that.  For the Saints to win while gaining experience, they are going to have to turn up the gambling quotient.  They’re going to need to go for it on 4^th down, onside kick now and then, and just go for broke a few times.  Reliance on the screen pass, which Brees throws as well as anyone, is not going to advance the cause.

Also, not to be forgotten is that the Cardinals are a playoff caliber team that would have been top seed in the NFC had they not lost Carson Palmer to injury last year.  A much better measuring stick is next Sunday, when a rebuilding Buccaneer team comes to the dome.  The game is critical, as an 0-2 start to the season would be a disaster to rival the Presidential campaign.

The tide will turn, or a tsunami will ensue. 

NFL Preview

February 7, 2016 Super Bowl 50

The St Louis Rams, in their last official game with that title, celebrated their upcoming return to Los Angeles after a 20 year banishment, by smothering their Super Bowl opponent Indianapolis Colts, (who are no threat to return to Baltimore) by a 20 – 17 score.  The Rams, who set an NFL record for sacks in a season, with 96, slammed NFL MVP Andrew Luck to the ground a record 8 times, invoking Super Bowl defensive domination memories of past Ravens’ (still in Baltimore) and Buccaneers’ (still in Tampa) victories.  A furious Luck rally of two fourth quarter touchdowns fell short when he fumbled on a late Nick Fairley sack.

The two league championship game upsets – Rams over Seahawks, and Colts over Bills, were predictors of the outcome, as all 3 games ended in the same 20-17 score.

In the latest off-season embarrassment for the league, a Super Bowl winning parade will actually be held in both St. Louis and Los Angeles.  The LA event will recycle Rose Bowl floats as well as 2016 Grand Marshall Keanu Reeves, and many would say it is a perfect embodiment of California culture to celebrate a fantasy.

So, now you know how the season will turn out.  Don’t you wish you could still place a bet?

None of this could top last year's Super Bowl, probably the most exciting ever, featuring “the call.”  In the game, Seattle was victimized by an incredible interception by New England cornerback Malcolm Butler.  While many blamed Pete Carroll for not just handing the ball to his beast running back, in actuality this was simply Karma doing some payback work.  Seattle was there by virtue of its incredible comeback victory over Green Bay in the NFC championship game, which broke the hearts of cheeseheads everywhere.  New England seemed on the verge of a 3^rd crushing Super Bowl upset featuring improbable receptions.  Instead, all football related Karma accounts have been squared except one.

Roger Goodell.

Saints prediction - the Saints will go 10-6. How did I build that prediction?  Start with a 1-1 split with the 3 division opponents, so that makes us 3-3.  The other 7 wins will be against Arizona, Philadelphia, Tennessee, Washington, Houston, Detroit, and Jacksonville, while the 3 additional losses will be Dallas, Indianapolis, and the New York Giants.  The Saints will win the division but get pounded in the first round by eventual champion Rams.

I know, it almost makes you not want to watch the season now that you know what’s going to happen.

I thought it would be fun to go back and look at my past prediction record.  It wasn’t. 

But, I’m man enough to own up to it, especially given that my den has been a recovery room after my knee surgery, so I’ve got nothing but time on my hand:

Season	Prediction			Actual
	Winner	Loser	Score	Winner	Loser	Score
2015	Rams	Colts	20 - 17
2014	Saints	Patriots	48-45	Patriots	Seahawks	28-24
2013	49ers	Broncos	17-16	Seahawks	Broncos	43-8
2012	Lions	Texans	28-24	Ravens	49'ers	34-31
2011	Saints	Texans	38-21	Giants	Patriots	21-17
2010	Saints	Texans	34-31	Packers	Steelers	31-25
2009	Saints	Chargers	42-38	Saints	Colts	31-17
2008	Saints	Patriots		Steelers	Cardinals	27-23

This takes me back to the beginning of the BP (Brees/Payton) era when I got out of the restaurant business to become a full time gambler on football, working out about equally well.  And you can see why, as I’ve only picked 3 of 14 Super Bowl participants during that time, although my pre-season prediction of the Saints to go all the way in 2009 made me famous, until everyone sees this chart which puts that prediction in the blind squirrel category.  History tells you that picking the New York Yankees to go all the way every year could be a reasonable bet.  Picking the Saints every year is just delusional.  Who would do dat?

Anyway, here’s my in-depth breakdown of the 2015 Saints, as formulated in several hypothesis both negative and positive.

Hypothesis #1 – It’s all about #9.  Drew has hinted now that he wasn’t healthy last year, thus the occasional “diminished arm strength” chorus, which I didn’t subscribe to.  But here’s why Franchise QB’s are so essential, and that when you look at the list of Super Bowl teams above, only Russell Wilson was not considered “elite” when he first appeared.   My definition of elite?  Forget all the stats.  At least half of all games will be undecided with 5 minutes left.  Mr. Elite is going to win you 5 to 7 in that final drive.  Last year Drew made mistakes in those situations several times, but he’s been very reliable since he arrived in New Orleans.  Expect a big year from Brees, and that alone improves the record over last year.

Hypothesis #2 – The Pre-season and Training Camp are of limited value when conducted the way the Saints do it.  In getting down to the 53 man limit and Practice Squad of 10, the Saints looked at about 100 players during the 6 week period, only to reject better than half of them and sign numerous rejects from other teams.  Watching the waiver wire is one thing.  Counting on it is another.  As of this moment 4 of 60, about 7% of the team, hadn’t seen a playbook until September.  It appears that about 19 players will be on the roster or practice squad that weren’t there last year – 30% of the personnel.  That is an indictment of the past, while also a commitment to change.  The question is, how fast can they mind meld into a cohesive unit?

Hypothesis #3 – Play within the division rarely determines the division winner.  Since all 8 divisions are 4-team now, familiarity breeds contempt in the form of a split.  The teams would seem to game plan daily, as well as draft to combat what they see in the division.  Tackle Cam Newton anyone?

Hypothesis #4 – Because of Hypothesis #1, the Saints are chasing SAQT (pronounced “sacked.”)  The Holy Grail is the Superstar Aging Quarterback Transition, SAQT.  Sure you hope you can duplicate Montana to Young, Favre to Rogers, or Manning to Luck, but chances are you won’t.   Chasing that grail is what lead the Saints to make one of their worst draft picks this year when they took Garret Grayson in the 3^rd round this year, depriving the Saints of a 2015 draft pick that could have been spent on a much-needed defensive player.  It was essentially a 2017 pick, as Brees probably is good for at least 2 more years.  I say this acknowledging that Grayson looks good and may be the eventual Brees replacement.  But remember Rodgers sat behind Favre 3 years, who left Green Bay and played 3 more years. And let’s say Favre had instead had another offensive or defensive weapon for those 6 years.  Ask Favre what he thinks.  Ask him what he could have done with Heath Miller, or Roddy White, who were drafted right after Rodgers.   It could be argued that Green Bay spent a draft pick on a QB 6 years too early!  Did the Saints just do that?  Well, here’s what they did do.  They speculated on a player that they really didn’t need, because they had a serviceable 3^rd stringer in Ryan Griffin, who instead they lost on waivers to Tampa – taking extensive playbook and organizational knowledge.  Now Tampa has a guy who knows too much about Drew Brees, how he thinks, how he practices, what he looks for, how he audibles – need I go on?  This greatly puts Hypothesis #3 at risk – it would be devastating to lose both games to Tampa.  This pick was a no-brainer, and the Saints had no brain, unless you are willing to make the argument that Green Bay knew Aaron Rodgers was going to be a league MVP, and you know the same about Grayson.  Tampa Bay is the home opener.  Yuk.

Hypthesis #5 – Maybe the draft isn’t that important since it was cut from 12 to 7 rounds.  The draft might be where you gamble on athletes.  It is now easy to write off the Saints 2014 draft last year as a complete loss, as only first rounder Brandin Cooks is left, after Stanley Jean-Batiste was cut Saturday, probably a year too late,( because it is not nearly as embarrassing to cut a 2014 in 2015 as it would have been to cut him in 2014.)  I call it a whiff, although they will say they were trying to develop a raw talent. 

But wait, there’s more to the story.  Let’s look at the Total Free Agent Class of 2014:

Safety Julius Byrd was the big free agent signing.  Since Sean Payton is stealing a page from the Belichick playbook and won’t discuss injuries, even his own, we’ll be generous and say that since Byrd is apparently in witness protection the jury is still out.  They’ve left him on the roster, so they are optimistic he can contribute to the Christmas Fund.  (And this year so far CJ Spiller is MIA – what is it with these Buffalo guys?)

But, undrafted Free Agents are a little more impressive.  It looks like Willie Snead and Brandon Coleman are going to start on offense, and 4 more players from last year’s undrafted free agent class are still around, making the team or the practice squad.

One more note.  The best NFL roster is probably the Seahawks and half of them are 7^th round or undrafted free agents.  So, maybe the draft isn’t that important anymore.  Particularly, when the offense is so hard to learn, if you are a receiver you will spend a year learning it (See Robert Meachum.)

Hypothesis #6   - The Saints are trying to use their keen eye for offensive talent and turn it into some equality.  Free Agent gem Chris Ivory was traded.  Crowd Favorite Darren Sproles was traded for a draft choice.  And most controversially, Jimmy Graham was traded for an offensive stud at center, and a draft choice turned into defense.  GM Mickey Loomis figures that the offense is always going to be top ten with Drew Brees and these moves dropped us from say 25 points a game to 22.  Neither win if we are constantly giving up 38.  Defense had to improve.  The running game has to improve so the defense is on the field less.  (Anyone sold on Mark Ingram yet?)  It looks like they are hoping Brandon Coleman at 6’6” will be a Graham-like end zone target.  So, my hypothesis is that Coleman will be 62% of Graham and Marcus Murphy will be 86% of Sproles.  I’m betting Murphy is the impact player of this draft class, and he’s taking meaningful backfield snaps by mid-year. 

Hypothesis #7 – In the first game it will take about a half to determine if the Saints will have a better year by counting how many times they’ve hit Carson Palmer.  The Saints are so desperate for a pass rush, that 7 of 11 listed on the defensive line are new to the team.   For the Saints to move up, a pass rush is the key, and I don’t mean Rob Ryan’s propensity to “send the house” on the pivotal plays of a game, to disastrous results.  I mean front four pressure.  Unfortunately there’s rustling in the wind about Cameron Jordan’s role in a local disturbance, and that is the last thing the Saints need right now.  If the Saints can start 2-1, they can have a decent year.  If not, hunker down, the football levees could break like they have 2 of the last 3 years.

But, I'm still going with 10 - 6.  In BP we trust.

At the Cinema - August 2015

The Gift – 10

Every now and then you walk out of the theater knowing you’ve just seen a classic.  I remember being wowed by The Sixth Sense, by Star Wars, and a few others.  That feeling is why I love movies, when you know you've just surrendered and been taken in by a story.

That’s the feeling I had after watching The Gift, a psychological thriller written and directed by Joel Edgerton in his debut behind the wheel.  

Jason Bateman and Rebecca Hall star as Simon and Robyn who are moving from Chicago to Southern California.  It seems to be a career move for Simon, who is from the area, and a little bit of an escape for Robyn.  Soon they run into Gordo, a guy who Jason went to high school with. 

Gordo is played by Edgerton, and he seems to be a little clingy, like one of those guys who is just a little too friendly. He soon brings a gift to the couple, and it's game on.

And that’s all I’m going to tell you.  To give you one more nugget of information would be to spoil this perfectly realized thriller.  Nothing is what it seems and nobody is whom they seem to be other than like everyone else alive they have a haunting from their past.  It unfolds as not just a thriller, but a character study of three individuals trying to get past something.

This is the movie that “Gone Girl” wanted to be.  The problem was that “Gone Girl” was high budget, big stars, high expectation, and half of the people in the theater had read the (allegedly great) book, so they knew what was coming.

Believe me, you won’t guess what’s coming here.  If Hitchcock were alive today he’d be proud of Edgerton’s simple story-telling that sets an apprehensive mood.  I’m pretty good at predicting plots and figuring things out. Not this time. I had no clue what was going to happen.  Nothing quite like a movie sneaking up on you.  I’d seen the previews and they didn’t excite me.  But when I left the theater I sure was.  

Let me put it another way.  This is real movie making.  Transformers 4 is not.

 

Mission Impossible:  Rogue Nation – 9

Every now and then we get someone who is at the absolute top of their game.  Maybe it’s Tom Brady rescuing a Super Bowl (with a little Mississippi help).  Maybe it’s Madison Baumgartner dominating a post-season run like baseball has never seen.  Maybe it’s Meryl Streep in her latest chameleon turn.  Maybe it’s Taylor Swift dominating pop music.  You may not be a fan, you may not be rooting for them, but you have to give them credit.  When someone’s hitting on all cylinders, you know it.

Maybe it’s Tom Cruise.  Because he is certainly at the top of his game.  Yea, I know he’s got a crazy set of religious beliefs, but you’ve got to respect the fact that he can put a movie together, like only a handful of pros can.  He commissions a script, picks a director, hires a cast, and turns it all loose on screen.  He did it last year with Edge of Tomorrow, and he even tops that this year with the 5^th installment of his Mission Impossible franchise.

The action ramps up from the first minutes with an airplane ride that nearly everybody has seen.  Can’t keep that pace up, right?  Wrong.  Soon, he’s an outcast, and the CIA wants to dissolve the Mission Impossible team and Ethan Hunt (Cruise) is on the run.  But, he’s on the run with a purpose – to bring down the super-secret Syndicate, which no one believes exists.  He picks up the help of a mysterious female agent played terrifically by Rebecca Ferguson, and while her allegiances waffle back and forth, they team up to retrieve information and save the world, or something like that.

Amazingly, the tension never wanes for two hours and Cruise and crew run through one action sequence after another.  There is no way that I can think of that they could improve this movie.  When it comes to action, it doesn’t get much better than this.

The Man from U.N.C.L.E – 5

In contrast, almost everything is wrong with The Man From UNCLE.  This was my favorite tv show when I was a kid, yes even ahead of Star Trek.  Napoleon Solo, played by Robert Vaughn, was the super slick secret agent with the karate chop, and Illya Kuryakin (David McCallum) was his cerebral sidekick. 

Mistake # 1.  Director/writer Guy Ritchie decides two James Bonds is better than one, and turns Ilya into a rival super spy of amazing athletic skills.

Mistake # 2.  The setting is sometime in the 50’s.  So rather than show us an amazing array of modern weapons that UNCLE would be employing today (like let’s say the Kingsmen) we get old and tired stuff.  That includes the plot, the villains, the cars, the weapons – need I go on?  The movie is so dated that it falls flatter than a pancake.

Mistake # 3.  They add a girl to the team.  Alicia Vikander, who was stunning in Ex Machina earlier this year when she brought life to a robot, is well, too robotic for her role as Gaby.  She seems to have voice problems and is hard to understand – a huge disappointment for someone whom 6 months ago I thought would be a superstar.

Director Guy Ritchie is much of the problem here.  When I heard he was directing, I was worried, and he delivers the low expectations.  All of his movies lack wit and panache, and that’s what is missing here.  His movies are like sitting through blunt force trauma.

I can’t remember much about the Man from UNCLE except my fondness for it, as it is rare to see it rerun.  I will try to forget this movie as fast as possible.

Scanning the Satellite

Show Me A Hero - 9

I admit it.  I am late to appreciate David Simon.  After I watched his Treme on HBO, which was a love letter to New Orleans, I went back and binge-watched The Wire, which some have hailed as the best show ever to grace the small screen.  So, I was happy to watch his latest, on HBO.  You’ve got to say this about Simon – he doesn’t do any easy stories.  This one is about housing disputes in Yonkers New York in the late 80’s, when a judge orders low income housing to be built in places where it’s not welcome by the neighbors.  It’s heartbreaking and relevant, unfortunately.

You’re the Worst – 9

I’ve watched 8 episodes about a vulgar, maladjusted couple who are mismatched to the world, but may be perfect for each other.  The writing and acting are perfection, but the show is so disgusting and tasteless that I can’t believe it’s on a cable channel, FXX, whatever that is.  Not for the faint of heart, but if you can stomach it, there are a lot of belly laughs.  May be a classic someday, or it may be censored.  But it really should be following Shameless on Showtime – that would be the perfect spot for it.

Mr. Robot - 7
This is an atmospheric story of a corporate computer hacker/security wonk.  At times brilliant, at times maddening, especially with the voice-overs, it's still worth watching, even when it takes a "Fight Club" turn towards the end of the first season. Brooding, dark, and a welcome addition to the TV landscape.