At the Cinema - January 2012

Contraband -7
You’ll like this movie if
a. you like to sit on the edge of your seat
b. you don’t mind a damsel in distress
c. especially when the damsel is Kate Beckinsale

Kate Beckinsale month kicked off with this smuggling yarn. Fresh from his retroactive stopping of 9/11 Mark Wahlberg stakes his claim as the next Bruce Willis in this fast paced thriller. In fact, this movie is so fast paced it’s like watching your DVR with your hand on the fast forward button, making it quite the crowd pleaser.

Here’s my problem. Bad guy (with bad New Orleans accent) threatens Markie Mark’s family, including Kate Beckinsale who is strangely helpless as his wife. Mark goes to see him. Grabs guy, beats him a little, sticks gun in his face and says if he ever threatens his family again, Markie will kill him. Should’ve done it right there. Boom, 10 minute movie. Instead Markie goes on a ridiculously impossible smuggling mission to get the guy off his back. Would’ve been much easier to just kill the guy, but then you’d have only paid a dollar. Instead you pay $8 to be entertained for 90 minutes in typically ridiculous action style, but then you knew that going in and that’s why you went, and you’ll probably leave happy.

Underworld Awakening - 7
You’ll like this movie if you like
a. Kate Beckinsale
b. bloodsuckers
c. either in 3 D

Full disclosure. Still haven’t seen a Harry Potter movie, a Pirates of the Caribbean movie, a Lord of the Rings movie, or a Twilight movie. But I’ve seen all 4 of these Underworld puppies. Call me sick, call me crazy, call me, Kate, please, anytime. We’ll talk.

Kate and her piercing blue eyes play Selene, a vampire who has been gifted with a) the ability to jump real high, and b) the ability to kill Lycans (werewolves.) You see, the Vampires and Lycans have been at war for centuries, or 4 movies now. Lycan transformation is a really cool special effect by the way, except for the fact that it’s blasé in today’s movie world where every movie looks like a video game, which was my distinct impression after watching the 20 minutes of coming attractions. The previews at action movies will numb you. I counted 400 explosions, and that was before they told me to turn off my cell phone.

Anyway, Selene got frozen, woke up to a few surprises, and re-commenced to fighting the Lycans with the added problem that humans are hunting both species. Anyway, it’s non-stop action (lots of jumping) with the exception of when Kate is squatting and piercing with her blues. She does that a lot, and I couldn’t help but think of the director saying, “ok today we’re going to a do a squatting and starring ominously scene, make sure she’s got those blue contacts in.”

Decent continuation of the story, good effects, good fight scenes, not a great movie but I enjoyed it because I like the series and would heartily endorse the making of a Fathead wall decal, NFL Style, of Kate Beckinsale in her piercing blue-eye squat.













The Artist - 8
You’ll like this movie if you like
a. movie history
b. good stories
c. expressive acting

I’ll admit a fascination with silent movies. My love of movies was enhanced when I took a cinema class in college and saw the Gish sisters in Orphans of the Storm. I famously dragged my wife and son to a silent double feature with a live piano accompaniment. The legendary movies (Battleship Potemkin and The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari) were fantastic. The experience was fantastic. My family will prove this by rolling their eyes whenever I bring it up.

So, with the positive buzz and numerous awards generated by this movie, I was looking forward to it. I was a little surprised by the predictability of it all and more than a little distressed by the girl with the high hair sitting in front of me who blocked me in a pretty full theatre. I changed seats, and so did she as if to maintain her advantage.

If you’ve seen Singing in the Rain, you’ll know the basic premise of this neat little exercise. The talkies are coming in with the depression, and the movie stars are realigning. We know where it’s going – it seems to take an awfully long time to get there. You couldn’t have improved on the performances. Everyone’s terrific, from the actors to the scene stealing dog. It’s a great 60 minute movie stretched to 100 minutes that seemed like 120. But if you long for a time when the movies were kinder and gentler, this is the movie for you. It’s a loving tribute to the early days of cinema and it’s destined to clean up in awards season.

One for the Money – 1
You’ll like this movie if you like
a. some book character named Stephanie Plum
b. insipid dialogue and plot
c. being seen in public coming out of a bad movie

Apparently there’s a popular series of books featuring a bounty hunter named Stephanie Plum. The noon matinee was packed with fans, mostly women dragging their unsuspecting husbands. They giggled throughout because they knew the characters. If you didn’t know the characters , trust me, you still don’t. Katherine Heigl, who’s lovely to look at, couldn’t develop a character in a dark room, and she’s an executive producer here, so I’m sure that she’ll make boatloads of money. She shouldn’t be encouraged. This movie doesn’t rise to the standard of a bad, really bad Lifetime movie. There’s not a believable moment, portrayal, character, location, plot device or line of dialogue, in this, one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen.

The only chance this movie had was to be silent, like The Artist. Then I could have just looked at Heigl. The background noise would have been the Snoring Husbands, which, as Dave Barry says, would make a great name for a rock band.

Every year I rank every movie I see all year. It’s only January and the basement has been established.

Haywire – 7
You’ll like this movie if you like
a. Beautiful Newcomers
b. Women beating up men
c. Authentic looking fight action

Gina Carana is the beautiful newcomer straight from mixed martial arts. She plays a betrayed black ops contractor and she can fight, so she looks very authentic as she kicks ass. Director Stephen (I put music in the strangest places) Soderbergh knows exactly how he wants to film her many bouts and he does a good job in scene after realistic fight scene.

The familiar Oceans 11/Soderbergh vibe is here, even if the story is a little thin. We’ll see Gina again and if it’s as her character here, Mallory Kane, it will be fine with me. A little kick-ass now and then never hurt anybody. Except the kickee.

2011 Movie Rankings

Here it is, my ranking from top to bottom of every recent movie I saw last year.

The Girl with The Dragon Tattoo
My Week with Marilyn
Hot Coffee (HBO Documentary)
Too Big to Fail (HBO Movie)
The Tillman Story (2010 Documentary)
Source Code
Crazy, Stupid Love
Midnight in Paris
Mission Impossible – Ghost Protocol
Moneyball

Woody Allen - American Masters (PBS Documentary)
George Harrison – Living in the Material World (HBO Documentary)
Young Adult
The Help
Margin Call
Bridesmaids
Super 8
Hall Pass
The Descendants
Cinema Verite (HBO)
War Horse
The Debt
The King’s Speech (2010)
The Conspirator
Love and Other Drugs (2010)
Nowhere Boy (2009)
Larry Flynt – The Right To Be Left Alone(Documentary)
Sex Crimes Unit (HBO Documentary)
Contagion
Red (2010)
Footloose
Hugo
The Lincoln Lawyer
J. Edgar
Captain America – the First Avenger
Tower Heist
Horrible Bosses
Conviction
Shame
Unknown
The Mechanic
Hanna
Cedar Rapids
Water for Elephants
Tree of Life
Country Strong (2010)
The Adjustment Bureau

The Ozzies:
Best Picture: Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
Best Actress: (tie) Michelle Williams, My Week with Marilyn,
and Rooney Mara, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
Best Actor: (tie) Brad Pitt, Money Ball, and
George Clooney, The Descendants
Best Supporting Actress: Jessica Chastain, The Help and several
other movies
Best Supporting Actor: Ryan Gosling, Crazy, Stupid Love
Best Director: David Fincher, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
Best Screenplay: Woody Allen, Midnight in Paris

Here’s what the real reel critics think:
http://www.metacritic.com/feature/movie-critic-best-of-2011-top-ten-lists
Movies I Missed that might have been high:
Drive
The Ides of March
The Artist
50/50
Melancholia
Take Shelter
A Separation
Certified Copy
Martha Marcy May Marlene
Meek's Cutoff
The Skin I Live in

A Final 2011 Movie Addendum

In an effort to not be at a complete loss during awards season, I’ve made a concerted effort to catch some of the late 2011 releases, and I’m filing this addendum to 2011 before I do my 2011 ranking.

Here are the 2011 Movies I’ll have to see later: The Artist, The Ides of March, and 50/50 among others

Crazy, Stupid Love – 9
In reviewing the 50 or so movies I saw this year, I realized I never wrote about this one, and yet it has stuck in my mind as the best comedy of the year. Steve Carell is at his best as the suddenly separated and thus lost husband. Ryan Gosling is terrific as his life coach, as Steve tries to navigate the dating scene. There’s a terrific twist at the end. Loved it, see it.

My Week with Marilyn – 10
You’ll like this movie if you
a. like Incredible performances
b. are over 50
c. know anything about Marilyn Monroe

Michelle Williams gives a mesmerizing performance as Marilyn Monroe in this wonderful movie. I had no idea Michelle Williams could do this. I had no idea anyone could do this. Not only does she capture Marilyn in all her insecure glory, but she does the impossible – she somehow also captures the glow, the sex appeal that America fell in love with in the theaters of the 50’s.

For 99 magical minutes this movie tells the story of the making of a movie – The Prince and the Showgirl, in England in 1956. Marilyn travelled to England to be directed by, and star with Sir Laurence Olivier, excellently portrayed by Kenneth Branagh. Olivier has no patience for the habitually late Marilyn and is a little peeved that he can’t get her sexual attention either. Colin, a young 3rd assistant director, on whose memoir this movie is based, is able to step into the fray and develop a relationship with Marilyn that allows him to coax her through the making of the movie.

Some movies just tell a nice story at a perfect pace, and the director has pulled off that feat here. While most of America knows who Marilyn Monroe was, I’m guessing you have to be over 50 to fully understand her hold on the American imagination. If you’re under 50, take all the pseudo celebrities we have now, roll them up into one person. Marilyn was bigger than that. This movie is not going to be a great hit, but it’s the Best Picture for over 50 year olds for 2011. If you’re under 50, give it a chance and you may come away with a new meaning for bringing sexy back.

The Descendants - 8
You’ll like this movie if you like:
a. George Clooney
b. His stubble
c. Family Drama

This is a star vehicle for George Clooney who plays the schlub of a man dealing with the impending death of his wife as he tries to handle his young incorrigible daughters and the realization that his comatose wife was unfaithful to him. He’s also dealing with his decision as trustee of a huge royal estate. In other words, it’s time to grow up. Clooney pulls it off in a masterful acting job that will probably land him an Oscar. His growth as the story progresses is subtle, believable, and palpable.

Here’s the problem, and this is a little bit of a spoiler in that it may ruin your viewing, but as I watched I became obsessed with Clooney’s beard. He’d be clean shaven in one scene, then an 8 hour stubble, then a 4 hour stubble, all at random. His growth was not chronologically correct, and I began to watch it very closely. Oh well, can’t have everything.

War Horse – 8
You’ll like this movie if you like
a. Steven Speilberg
b. Animals
c. Soaring Music
Subtle Steven Spielberg finally gets to World War I and horses in his latest epic. There’s nothing like a horse running through a battlefield to the soaring music of John Williams. Nobody does a better job of tugging at the heartstrings then Steven Spielberg, who will use a crowbar, a wrench, pliers, and any other utensil available to yank the tears out of your tear ducts.
He’s got the vehicle here. This story of a man and his nearly indestructible horse is a natural. In rural England before World War 1, a young man comes into possession of an incredible horse he names Joey. Joey gets confiscated by the British army and begins an incredible adventure throughout the war. Of course the battle scenes are thrilling and soaring (music-wise) and Joey performs the physical and inspirational heroics you would expect. You know where the story is going, but it’s still one hell of a ride, even if at two and half hours (standard epic running time) it’s a little long.

Contagion – 8
You’ll like this movie if you like:
a. disease mysteries
b. star-studded casts
c. stars dying off

Stephen Soderbergh directed in his usual methodical and straightforward style this story of a virus rapidly spreading worldwide. There’s no new ground here in how the various players in the medical establishment deal with the crisis, but it’s detailed enough to hold the interest of even those who’ve never missed a CSI episode. The panic that ensues as the virus spreads is interesting and graphic. There are heroes and villains and most importantly the prediction of how things would go seems plausible.

That “humans backed into a corner” aspect is what makes this a pretty scary movie. When we’re watching horror movies, we know that in our lifetime it’s unlikely that anyone’s going to come after us with a chainsaw, or that we’ll ever have the pleasure of meeting a zombie, except for of course a (insert the political party you hate here.) We’ll probably never get bitten by a vampire thanks to Buffy. But this, this could happen. Anyone who travels by airplane knows that it’s a cesspool of airborne germs. The germs are out there. They have us surrounded. Can medicine keep up?

Fascinating, isn’t it that we’ve always heard there’s no cure for the common cold, but we’ve actually become pretty adept at avoiding colds. Washing hands, hand sanitizers, and isolation when we’re sick help now that we know how colds are passed around. All we have to do now is just stop touching and breathing and we’ll be safe. This movie will make you feel like doing just that.

Young Adult – 8
You’ll like this movie if you like
a. Dark Comedy
b. Charlize Theron
c. Reunions with long lost love

This was a surprising treat. Charlize Theron shines as the alcoholic writer (is there any other kind?) who decides to return to her hometown and try to recapture her high school sweetheart by using every trick in the book. One little problem is that he’s married with a new child and while happy to see her is not THAT happy. Patton Oswald provides some moralizing and great comic relief as one of their former classmates. He’s physically damaged from high school, and has never really grown up, so he’s a perfect foil for Charlize, who’s trying to go backward without a time machine.

I didn’t expect much, but both I and the audience laughed out loud on numerous occasions. This is a showcase for Theron, who artfully underplays the addiction issues. It’s great work and a great script and there was not a single moment that didn’t ring true, even in the difficult-to-watch moments.

Shameless – 6
You’ll like this movie if you like
a. addiction
b. Carey Mulligan
c. character studies

In another movie that will never make it to Mississippi, (NC-17 movies rarely do) Michael Fassbender stars as a sex addict, and it ain’t a pretty picture. Fassbender plays Brandon, a New York ad executive whose number one priority is to be sexually satisfied 2 or 3 times a day. He’s in the shower, he’s in the bathroom, he’s in the bars, he’s in the hotels, he’s in the alleys, he’s on his computer, he’s on the subway. He prowls, he hunts, he buys, he self-gratifies. It’s graphic but not the least bit sexy. His addiction consumes his every waking hour and it’s a bleak existence - a joyless existence in a joyless city. Ironically, when he finds someone he cares about, he can’t perform. Sex has nothing to do with love in his eyes, it’s like eating. Gotta have three meals a day, plus snacks.

His routine gets upset when his damaged sister freeloads her way into his small apartment, and brings her own set of problems to the party, except there is no party. Carey Mulligan is terrific in her portrayal of the sister, Sissy. There’s one incredible scene of Brandon and Sissy sitting on his couch confronting their relationship, and it’s the scene I’ll remember. The director, Steve McQueen, has removed any sense of enjoyment from these lives, and he punctuates it with some of the longest single camera shots I’ve seen in movies. They linger painfully and serve to increase the squirm factor. There’s a lot of pain in their lives, but we only scratch the surface as to why.

This is a worthwhile movie to make, but I’m not sure it’s worthwhile to see. It’s so unpleasant, you’ll want to go get an ice cream cone or something to break the mood when you exit.

Scanning the Satellite

Hall Pass – 8
This is a 2011 comedy by the Farrelly Brothers, and it is in their grand tradition of being grossly hysterical. There were some raunchy, filthy things I thought I’d never see on screen. I was wrong. Here they are served up by the brothers. If you can stomach it, you will laugh until your lungs feel like they’re on fire. Owen Wilson and Jason Sudeikis star as two schmos given a week off from their marriage by their fed-up wives. It doesn’t go exactly as planned. If you can last through your time spent knee deep in the poopla, it’s worth it.

Blue Valentine – 7
This is a 2010 vehicle for Michelle Williams and Ryan Gosling. They chronicle a relationship as it transitions from infatuation to marriage to disillusion. It underscores the real challenges of relationships. We don’t mature at the same rate; we don’t grow at the same rate, and we don’t age at the same rate. I just heard someone quoted as saying that we all eventually lose our battle with mortality. This shows a relationship losing its battle with maturity.

Last Saints Blog - January 14, 2012

The New Orleans Saints still have never won a road playoff game as they lost a 36-32 thriller to the hated San Francisco 49’ers Saturday. A Saints team which could have gone down as their best ever ended their season with a premature burial when 49’er QB Alex Smith hit Vernon Davis with a touchdown pass with 9 seconds left. After a week of listening to how the Saints don’t like playing outside, or playing on grass, blah, blah, blah, we finally found out exactly what it is that they don’t like about being away from the dome – the football – it appears to be a might more slippery outside of Louisiana.

One of the things I’ve learned over the last few years is that sometimes it’s the early things that count. The Saints really lost this playoff round when they lost inexplicably to the winless Rams early in the season. Thus, they didn’t get a first round bye. Thus another west coast trip. Thus the 49’ers had a week off to heal and prepare while the Saints were in a dogfight with the Lions. Both Saturday games were won by the teams that had first round byes, miracle quarterbacks not withstanding, and I wouldn’t be surprised if the same thing happens Sunday. Despite these disadvantages, hats off to the Saints for making it a barnburner.

Early Things. Last year, in a very early-season game, Garrett Hartley missed a field goal that would have beaten the Falcons. It ultimately cost the Saints the division and a first round bye, and sent them to Seattle for a playoff game, which we’d rather forget.

Moving to Saturday, no score yet, the Saints driving, and Pierre Thomas is running towards the goal line when he gets a head crushing blow at the 2 yard line and was probably out cold before he coughed up the ball. The dominoes began to fall. Instead of a 7-0 lead the Saints began stumbling and fumbling and soon found themselves down 17-0. Worse the Saints suddenly found themselves a running back short and it began to look like last year’s Seattle debacle all over again.

Without Pierre Thomas, the offense becomes predictable. Ivory goes in, he’s running the ball most of the time. Sproles in, the Saints are probably passing it. (He set a playoff record with 15 catches.) It doesn’t take a genius to figure these tendencies out, and from there on, other than maybe 37 yards rushing, it was on Brees, just like last year. He’s chunking it, and he’s chunking it under duress. In both games he did all he could do, but throwing 60+ passes rarely results in a victory. Equally apparent is that Pierre’s blocking would have reduced the duress – another domino.

With Thomas sidelined, the Saints were afraid to use Sproles on kick returns, so in goes the next domino, Courtney Roby, who hasn’t returned a kick all year, and he promptly fumbles one away. Sproles, who was otherwise electrifying, fumbles a punt himself, his first turnover of the year. Add Brees two interceptions, and you have 5 turnovers, Got to give it to the Saints, they sure don’t punt much.

Despite all these dominos, the Saints are still in it. The defense is blitzing Alex Smith, sacking him, rushing him, and holding their own while the Saints claw their way back in to the game. They hold them, kicks get fumbled, and they hold them again.

Miraculously, the Saints take their first lead 24-23 on a 44 yard Sproles catch and run for a touchdown, with just 4 minutes left. Now all the Saints defense has to do is play as well as they have all day. Except they don’t. Within two minutes the 49’ers transverse the field and take a lead 29 – 24, capped by an improbable 28 yard run by Alex Smith. That score came too quickly.

Can the Saints score again in 2 minutes? No, they score in about 30 seconds, too quickly as it turns out, when Graham makes a 66 yard circus catch and run, the Saints make a 2 point conversion and now up 3, the defense gets a second chance.
They squander it quickly when they let the 49’ers tight end Vernon Davis torch them twice, the last time with 9 seconds left for the TD that we’ll see many more times in our lifetime.

Nine seconds is not enough for even Brees to go 80 yards, and the Saints burial of a most promising season is complete.

Thus, the Saints squander the most productive offense in the history of football. Guess you need four running backs. With Ingram healthy, the Saints are better. Not because he’s a better runner than Ivory, but because he’s a better blocker and pass catcher, and the Saints are less predictable when he’s in the game. Our four headed monster if fantastic, but telegraphic in its intent. That usually doesn’t matter, but against a great defense it does.

But, the offense isn’t the problem. Brees, like last year, almost pulled off a west coast miracle. His 435 passing yards while under this duress is amazing. Like last year, the defense couldn’t come up with the stops.

The defense’s problem can be summed up in 2 words. Roman Harper. He’s a great player, but he led the team in sacks. When you can’t get pressure, or sacks, or turnovers forced, from your front seven (see 49’ers, Giants) you may have occasional success with blitzes, but in the end you’ll get burned by a Vernon Davis, or a Calvin Johnson. When your sack leader is a safety, you get an A for creativity, but a C for defense. When your defense gives up almost 300 yards passing to Alex Smith, you’ve got problems that can’t be masked anymore.

The best pass defense is a pass rush. Pass Rushing Ends, and faster linebackers are the priority going into the offseason. This is the critical time for a coaching staff. It’s time to replace some pieces that aren’t working anymore. Will they remain loyal to fading players, or cut the cord? It will tell you a lot about next year.

While we drown our sorrows for the next few months, we’ll be watching this and:
The Brees and Colston negotiations
The future of Gregg Williams
to see if there’s a Julius Peppers out there somewhere

We’ll wait til next year. Again. This time the unfulfilled promise just hurts a little more.

BCS Celebration

I would like to discuss copying the BCS approach to other sports.

Starting with basketball, I propose changing March Madness to May Madness as follows: Play the usual 64 team tournament, but halt the tournament with 8 teams left. Rule out any teams (like Butler) without the appropriate big money big conference affiliations. Then take a vote and pick the top 2 teams from the 8 remaining. Those two get to play the finals - but, and this is key, let them wait 40 days before they play. Thus, May madness.

I have always liked both LSU and Alabama. In Mississippi they've got us flanked. Sandwiched thus, I didn't really care who won, but you have to feel for LSU after winning 12 games for the first time ever, then getting dominated in the BCS Championship Game 21-0.

There has to be a name for losing only your final game after a monster undefeated season. I'll take suggestions.
"Belichecking?" "Bradyballing?" "Jeffersonian" "Milesithon?"
Has to be a horrible feeling, although at least LSU's loss wasn't due to a fluke David Tyree catch pinned against his helmet. "Tyreed." That's it.

LSU got "tyreed" by an Alabama defense that is as good as any I've ever seen in college football history. Nick Saban won his third national championship, and you've got to give him credit - he sure can recruit and prepare a team. The two games LSU and Alabama played never wavered from their defensive theme. Alabama's defense effectively manhandled LSU for 8 quarters and finally won the punt, pass, and kick competition by hitting about half their field goal tries.

We haven't seen the last of these teams in games like this. Both are so loaded with athletes it's amazing.

Unfortunately the University Presidents will never vote for my proposal because they love the bowl system where just about every team that at least breaks even goes to a big money bowl.

But, sure seems like we could have had one hell of a playoff in those 40 days since Thanksgiving, and they all could be named bowl games.
Wishing, Hoping, Dreaming.

Saints Report # 17 - January 7, 2012

It has become obvious that when you play the New Orleans Saints there is one thing you just can’t afford to do.
Punt.
If you punt you lose.

You can’t afford to lose a possession, not when Mr. Not-NFL-MVP Drew Brees is orchestrating one drive after another.

The Lions came to town for the first round NFC playoff game and a video game broke out. Their own video character Megatron was awesome but it wasn’t enough as the Lions committed the unpardonable sin of punting 3 times. The relentless Saints pulled away in the fourth quarter to win 45-28.
Here’s the Saints drive tally best I can remember:
10 possessions
6 Touchdowns
1 Field Goal
2 Fumbles lost
1 Kneel down series to end the game.

The Lions offense gave the Saints defense everything they could handle. Jabari Greer’s two interceptions, when added to those 3 punts gave the Lions 5 un-pointed possessions. That won’t work against the Saints. Meanwhile, the Lions defense only put up occasional resistance. Suffice to say the Lions are in much the same position the Saints have been for years – their offense is close, they need to draft, draft, draft defense.

As for the Saints offense, while Not-All-Pro QB Brees was his usual incredible self, it was Pierre Thomas who set the physical tone for the Saints, breaking about 100 tackles on pass receptions and runs. SIT, the three headed running back monster (Sproles/Ivory/Thomas) gives this team the unstoppable dimension. The success running the ball is what sets up an offense that could be legendary if they continue this pace through let’s say February. When Brees threw for 466 yards, the most ever in a regulation post season game, maybe there was at least some voter remorse amongst the NFL writers, except of course for the two that voted him all-pro. Two – how ridiculous.

Around the NFL, the Giants ran up the score on the Falcons 24-2. Eli gets to travel to Green Bay and try to repeat the playoff magic of a few years ago, but unfortunately the Packers QB is not Brett Favre and the tundra doesn’t appear to be frozen. But if the Giants win and the Saints win, the NFC championship will be a Mercedes-Benz Superdome affair, and would be the Saints 3rd NFC title affair in Payton’s 6 years. That would be very impressive, not to mention incredibly cool.

In Denver, Tim Tebow pulled off his biggest win so far on the first play of overtime, which is a shame, as I really wanted to see how those new overtime rules played out. I wouldn’t get too excited if I were a Bronco fan. The injury bug had a clamp on the Steelers much like the Saints in last year’s playoff. It doesn’t change the fact that the Steelers are a flawed team with some draft needs. The problem with continued excellence in the NFL is that you’re always drafting late and it looks like that is starting to catch up with the Steelers, or do they really think Hines Ward can get open because he’s now a qualified dancer?

Which by the way, the Saints remind me of the Steelers of the 70’s. Think about all those future Hall of Famers on that team that won 4 Super Bowls in 6 years. It’s just that the Saints assemblage of offensive talent reminds me of the Steelers defensive assemblage.

Finally, in the first game Saturday, my pre-season Super Bowl pick Houston ran the ball down the throat of the Bengals. I’ll have to rescind my pick as I’m sure there’s a third string quarterback rescission clause available to me. However, Houston is one of those teams being built piece by piece very effectively and I don’t see a Peyton Manning return next year changing the bright future of the Texans. It’s just that their trip to Baltimore next week isn’t all that promising.

So, the Saints travel to San Francisco and don’t we owe them some heartache for the Montana-Rice era? Oddly I’m not nearly as concerned about the 49’ers as I was about the Lions. I don’t see the same firepower. The Saints should have only a few concerns. One would be Frank Gore and a top-notch running game. The other is a defense that will put up the most significant resistance the Saints have seen in a while. This shouldn’t be a punt-less game, which brings me to my last concern.
Does Thomas Morstead remember how to punt?

Saints Report # 16, January 1, 2012

Wow. The Saints closed out the regular season playing the best football in their history. They thumped the Carolina Panthers 45-17, setting a team yardage record with 617 yards. Led by Drew Brees they trampled both the NFL and team record book, thrilling the Who Dat Nation with an offense like none that has ever been seen in the NFL.

Brees set an NFL passing yardage record for a season with 5476 yards. Darren Sproles set an all-purpose yardage record with 2969 yards. Brees re-set his own completion percentage record at an amazing 71.6% and completed the most passes ever in a season with 468. The Saints broke the NFL yardage record with 7474 yards. This is quite simply the most prolific arsenal ever assembled by a football team.

Then there’s the defense. Sunday, for the first four Carolina possessions they looked awful, giving up running and passing yardage in huge chunks. After that they made adjustments and turned what looked like it was going to be a shoot-out into a runaway.

That’s the good news. It’s been a thrill to watch. Now, it means nothing as the playoffs begin and if history tells us one thing it’s that anything can happen.

Last year Matt Hasselback destroyed a depleted Saints defense, and Brees had no running backs. So, the bad news is that the Matt that is coming to town next Saturday night is way better than Hasselback. Sunday, Matthew Stafford followed Brees and Brady into the 5000 yard club with a monster performance. The Lions are awesome, in case no one noticed. They’ve come from way behind on numerous occasions, and put on a fireworks display in the Superdome beating themselves more than the Saints beat them at the beginning of December. Fortunately their defense got shellacked Sunday, and despite the presence of Ndamukong Suh and Nick Fairley, they’ve stopped no one.

I’m scared to death of the Lions. I think this will be the Saints toughest game in the playoffs, and if they can get by the Lions, the Saints have an excellent chance of parading with another Lombardi. I predict a shootout of epic proportions, with the Lions not making near the mistakes they made in their last dome trip. I’m hanging my hat on the maturity of the Saints knowing how to win and hoping that the Lions aren’t there yet. It won’t be easy. Time to enjoy some January football.