Saints Report # 16

As we nestle in for a long winter’s nap, we’ll relax and enjoy the bowl games and the NFL playoffs stress free and happy go lucky, BECAUSE THE SAINTS BLEW IT.

Sunday the Saints closed out one of their most disappointing seasons with a 7-9 record. Blech!  They were less than impressive as they came from 13 points down in the 4^th quarter to beat the Tampa Bay Lovie’s 23-20.  The defense stiffened in the second half, allowing the offense to catch up. 

So the post mortem on the Saints season is ugly.  Let’s do the autopsy.

Dissecting the defense is easy.  It was terrible most of the time.  Problem number one was the pass rush.  The Black and Gold defense didn’t exactly turn any quarterback Black and Blue.  Rob Ryan has failed at numerous stops.  Is he the problem?  Is he the answer?  Who knows?  When you can’t get pressure from your front four, you better blitz effectively.  The Saints rarely did.  His “bring the house” blitzes on big plays were predictable and easily picked apart by good quarterbacks. 

Which brings me to the next line of defense, the linebackers.  Curtis Lofton is a tackling machine, but the other rotating cast was slow, un-athletic, and rarely effective.

Then there was the defensive backfield.  Only Keenan Lewis was acceptable.  Jarius Byrd was injured before he was injured for good, so he showed little.  Kenny Vaccarro was a huge sophomore disappointment.  Defensive Backs needed – about 5.

On the offensive side of the football, Drew Brees remained one of the top 5 quarterbacks in the NFL, but he took some unnecessary chances, and most of them were disastrous interceptions.

Running Back is a tough call.  Mark Ingram is a grinder, but doesn’t evade or break tackles like a top running back.  Pierre Thomas was reliable, but only when he could stay off the injured list.  Khiry Robinson and Tavaris Cadet are being groomed for the future, but didn’t excite anyone.  I’ve often wondered if our running backs were evasive in practice against our poor defense, leading to some poor evaluations.  In the games, our defense tackles poorly, and our backs are tackled too easily.  I’d love to see an accounting of tackles broken/tackles missed.  I think it would be ugly and lopsided.

The offensive line was a disaster most of the time, keeping Brees under duress and leaving the running game with little room to run. 

Our wide receivers were a conundrum to themselves.  Rookie Brandon Cooks looks like a long term starter, but didn’t deliver the big plays we envisioned before he got hurt.  Kenny Stills progressed into the most consistent receiver.  Marques Colston was inconsistent, but Brees still relies on him and if Nick Toon is the heir apparent in the “big receiver” role we are in trouble.

Then there’s Jimmy Graham, superstar.  Because he was perceived to be the league’s best, the Saints overpaid him, only to watch him drop too many passes, perhaps due to injury.  It is a sign of Sean Payton’s desperation as the year wore on that he continued to play Graham while hurt, something he has adamantly refused to do in the past with other players.   We now have too much money allocated to the tight end position.

Sean Payton’s offense became predictable.  As his coaching tree spreads, (Chicago, Detroit, Buffalo) other teams are running his offense, allowing defensive coordinators to better prepare. It’s time for some further innovation.

The Saints are in cap hell, but it can be remedied.  They need a lot of players.  The over/under on new Saints for 2015 is 15.    I’m thinking 20.

Saints Report # 15

Q:  What odds could you have gotten betting that the Saints would lose 5 straight home games after winning 20 in a row?
A:  A Breesizilion to one.

Q:  What odds could you have gotten betting that the Falcons could win the division by going 6-0 in the division and 1-9 outside it, which could be the case by Sunday night?
A:   Dammit Jim, I’m a doctor, not a gambler

Q:  Is Jimmy Graham a football player or a basketball player?
A:  He keeps dribbling the ball, you tell me

Q:  How much time did Matt Ryan have to throw Sunday when they beat the Saints 30 – 14?
A:  You could’ve timed it with a sundial

Q:  Do you have a nickname you’d like to propose for our offensive line?
A:  Yes.  “Unabated to the Quarterback.”

Q:  Is Devery Henderson walking through that door?
A:  No

Q:  We’ve never really been able to replace him as a deep threat have we?
A:  Joe Morgan, but apparently Sean Payton thought he was better suited as a second baseman

Q:  Is Will Smith walking through that door?
A:  Not the Will Smith you’re thinking of.

Q:  Kenny Stills and Marques Colston played well though didn’t they?
A:  Yes, but Julio Jones was the best player on the field

Q:  Don’t Super Bowl teams have to re-load all the time.
A:  Yes. 

Q:  Where is training camp for the Saints next year?
A:  Chicago.  Goodell has mandated it.

Q:  What are our biggest needs in the draft?
A:  3 cornerbacks, and 3 linebackers

Q:  What will we draft?
A:  A Wide Receiver

Q:  Is Brees fading?
A:  Did you see Peyton Manning play Monday night?

Q:  Who do you consider the heart and soul of the Saints?
A:  Lance Moore

Q:  What did you think of the Saints play calling this year?
A:  I think it’s perfectly logical to throw the ball from an empty backfield on second and 2, but run it on second and 9.

Q:  Will Rob Ryan be back?
A:  No.  He will be offered the head coaching job of the New York Jets

Q:  Is it time to start looking for the successor to Brees?
A:  Sure.  If it’s going to take 40 years again. 

Q:  Will you watch the game Sunday?
A:  Of course.  I’m a glutton, not a gambler.

Q:  What do you think would happen if they gave Pierre Thomas the ball 20 times a game?
A:  We’ll never know.

Q:  Do you think Payton and Loomis will blow up the team next year?
A:  Yes

Q:  Aren’t some Saints overpaid?
A:  Yes, but so are Brad Pitt, Taylor Swift, and Elvis Presley.  The playing field is level, and we will find a way to add another high priced free agent like Jarius Byrd, so don't fret.

Q:  Would you like to propose a theme song for this year?
A:  Lieutenant, haven't we already covered that?

Q:  Any final thoughts?
A:  You got bullied into that courtroom

Saints Report #14

Roger Goodell hates the New Orleans Saints, so every year he sends them to the Windy, wet, cold City of Chicago.  What’s up with that?

Fortunately, the good Saints, let’s say the Saints of 2011, showed up and trounced the Bears with a methodical performance on offense and an inspired one on defense, winning 31-15.  Now all we need is a little 6 game winning streak and The Lombardi Trophy will be ours!

How did they win?  Two obvious things.

1)      The Saints out-Pierred them   I’m not a personnel evaluator, but it seemed to me in the exhibition games that Free Safety Pierre Warren was the real deal.  He out-played the other Safeties and showed a nose for the ball.  He got cut, and someone named Marcus Ball was kept.

In desperation, after season ending injuries to Rafael Bush and Jarius Byrd they were lucky enough to get him back.  All he did last night was intercept 2 passes which hasn’t been done by a Saint Safety not now in jail since about 1970, I’m guessing.  Meanwhile the Senior Pierre, Thomas, was running amuck with screen passes and reminding everyone what he can do when healthy.

2)      The Saints out-quarterbacked them.  I hope all the Talk Show/Internet loud mouths who have been complaining about Drew Brees got a look at the game last night for two reasons.  First, how good Brees is.  I don’t see a quarterback in decline, like everyone is yakking about.  I sometimes see a quarterback who a) tries to do too much, and b) has injured or under performing weapons around him, and c) occasionally has a bad game (like every other quarterback who has ever played – did you see Aaron Rodgers this week?) 
Secondly I hope everyone got a good luck at Jay Cutler for contrast, because the Saints history book is loaded with Quarterbacks even worse than him.  AND HE MAKES MORE THAN BREES.

Brees’ salary seems to irk some.  It shouldn’t.  It’s called the entertainment dollar.  It distorts things and we can’t relate.  The $20 million a year neighborhood is where the top quarterbacks play.  Sorry.  If you think he should take less to win and spread the wealth, you’re kidding yourself.  Would you say “don’t pay me $20 an hour, pay me $10 an hour and give it to my coworkers?  Sure.

Sorry, occasionally I have to live up to the name of the column and rant a little.  The most encouraging thing about the game was that the Saints defense looked better, even though it was a sub-par offense they were playing.  New defensive backs were flying around like it was their first NFL game because, well it was.  Kenny Vaccaro’s reduced role held him to only one unnecessary roughness penalty.  I’ve got to give a little credit to Rob Ryan for bringing it together, since he has been torched in the press all year.  His blitzes actually worked and the Saints harassed Cutler all night.

The Saints have a core.  It’s Bress – Colston – Thomas on offense.  They’re getting older.  It’s a fact.  Give ‘em some football Geritol and let’s keep them as long as we can.

Now the biggest game in years, and it would just have to be against THEM.  With a short week to prepare (because Goodell hates us) the despised dirty birds come to the dome and we used to know what was going to happen there.  This year all bets are off.  Who knows which Saints team or Falcons team will show up?  I certainly don’t.  But my entertainment dollar has already been spent, so I’ll be there to find out.

At the Cinema - November 2014

Interstellar – 10
You’ll like this movie if you like time travel, space travel, and mind travel. 

I guess there are only a few things we should really worry about.  This movie is about one of them – the end of the world.  What would happen if the planet was just “give out?”  That’s how this movie begins.  The world has become a dust bowl.  The dust is choking the world and it’s time to find another inhabitable planet.  It’s a disturbing scenario.

Matthew McConaughey to the rescue.  Off he goes through Director Christopher Nolan’s chaotic imagination.  Anne Hathaway is along for the ride and they go searching outer space, though time, black holes, worm holes, and other not-so-easy-to-understand landscapes.

It’s an amazing journey.  To save the world McConaughey must leave his family behind and his daughter is none too happy as she harbors the resentment for the rest of her life.  There certainly are ramifications when you are trying to save the world. 

I’ve often found Christopher Nolan’s work to be exceptional, and he wields his imagination as a weapon in movies like Inception, Memento, and The Dark Knight Trilogy.  This may be his best yet.  But, it’s not always an easy film to understand, and definitely not for everyone.  I strongly recommend you take the ride.

The Theory of Everything – 9

You’ll like this movie if you like biographies and great acting.
This is the low key and rather amazing story of physicist Steven Hawking.  His work serves as much of the basis for the concepts in Interstellar, and his theories about black holes and time are an effective backdrop to his personal story.  Hawking was diagnosed with ALS in the early 60’s and told he would live 2 years.  Amazingly, he is still a productive scientist even though he lost his ability to speak decades ago.

Even more amazing are the performances in this film.  How do you find someone who can portray Hawking?  Well, his name is Eddie Redmayne and his physical transformation into Hawking is incredible.  The script is based on a book by his wife Lisa, who is portrayed wonderfully by Felicity Jones.  This is as much her story as it is Hawking’s. 

If you are feeling sorry for yourself, this film will cure that.

Hunger Games – Mockingjay Part 1 – 7
You’ll like this movie if you liked the first two Hunger Games movies.  Not much has changed.  I thought the second movie was a redo of the first.  This one appears to be a preview of the last, coming soon to a theater near you. 

This must have been what it felt like to watch an old Hollywood serial.  They used to make these, less the production values.  Of course, they didn’t have Jennifer Lawrence, who attacks the role of Katniss, the Mockingjay, with the earnestness of a true heroine.

The action scenes in this movie are actually a cut above what is usually visible in the explosion-laden Hollywood film of 2014.  But, there’s just not enough of them, which is a very difficult thing to come out of my mouth.  Too much soap, not enough war.  There’s just that feeling that the story is being stretched out for a two part extraction of dollar bills from the movie going public.  But if you liked the first two, you’ll like this one.

Scanning the Satellite

Jersey Boys – 8

I finally caught the story of Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons on pay per view.   I had deliberately passed on seeing the movie in theaters until I saw the Broadway play, which I can’t wait to see again.  The play is terrific and is now an industry of its own, with many touring companies and even schools to train those who could play the four Jersey boys.

John Lloyd Young won a Tony for his portrayal of Frankie Valli and he carries this movie with his performance. 

The movie was directed by Clint Eastwood and I approached that with a little trepidation which turns out to be well-founded.  But, when you think of it, what director out there is a musical director?  It’s not as bad as when Sylvester Stallone was picked to direct the Saturday Night Live sequel.

There’s a lot of emphasis on the seedy side of the Jersey Boys, but the music is still good enough to carry the day, especially the rousing finale behind the closing credits.  Both the play and the movie even leave out some great songs.  But one of the songs that concludes the movie, “Who Loves you” makes the list of songs that at one point dominated our fraternity house.

Not that anyone cares, but here’s that pantheon of songs 1972 – 1976:

Funeral for a Friend/Love Lies Bleeding

Can’t Get Next to You

Johnny B. Goode

Hit the Road Jack

Jesus is Just Alright

I’ll Be Around

Who Loves You

Now you know.

Saints Report # 13

I have to close my eyes anymore when I watch you play

And there’s no way like before that I can watch the re-play

You’re trying hard not to blow it (Payton).

But Payton, Payton I know it….

You’ve lost that winnin’ feeling,

Whoa, that winnin’ feeling.

You’ve lost that winnin’ feeling,

Now it’s gone…gone…gone…whooooh

Now there’s no confident look in your eyes

When you get the balll

And now you’re starting to fumble often,

It makes me just feel like crying, (Payton)

“Cause baby, the Superdome is dying.

You’ve lost that tacklin’ feeling

Whoa, that tacklin’ feeling

You’ve lost that tacklin’ feeling,

Now it’s gone…gone…gone…wooooah

Jimmy, Jimmy, I get down on my knees for you

If you would only catch it like you used to do, yeah

We have a qb…a qb….a qb you don’t find everyday,

So don’t…don’t….don’t…don’t let it slip away.

Breezy (breezy),  Curtis (curtis)

I beg of you please…please

I need a bomb (I need a bomb)

I need a sack (I need a sack)

So bring it on back (So bring it on back),

Bring it on back (So bring it on back)

Bring back that winnin’ feeling.

Whoa, that blitzin’ feeling

Bring back that tacklin’ feeling

Cause it’s gone…gone…gone.

And I can’t go on,

Noooo……………..

Bring back that superdome feelin’

Whoa, that football feeling

Bring back that “Who dat” feeling

Before it’s gone….gone….gone.

Saints Report #12

Don’t ask me.

If I knew when the Saints were going to show up and play a football game like that, I’d be living in Vegas and making a living with my knowledge.

But I did figure out how they did it.  Time travel.  That was the 2009 Saints that won that game.  Only possible explanation.

The Saints, (off a short week after Monday Night Football) traveled to Pittsburgh (off a bye week) and bounced the Steelers all over the field en route to a 35 – 32 victory that was only close because the Steelers scored 2 touchdowns late.  If you saw this coming, move to Vegas.

During the Thanksgiving Family Holiday we watched two things that set this up.

One night on Netflix I introduced the family to the classic Star Trek episode “City on the Edge of Forever.”  Captain Kirk and Spock have to travel back in time to undo the damage McCoy has done by changing history.  Written by famed science fiction writer Harlan Ellison, this is generally considered the best original Star Trek episode.

Then, another night we rented “Edge of Tomorrow” about a soldier, played by Tom Cruise, who keeps reliving the same day over and over.  One of the best movies of the year.

Great time travel stuff.

So Sunday, the Saints offense, defense, and special teams all played like they were in a time warp. 

It started with Drew Brees, who played mistake free, this time with the support of a running game.  He threw at all-stars like Ike Taylor and Troy Polamalu with no hesitation and ended the day with another 5 touchdown game.   When I listen to the idiots who think Brees is done, I want to throw them in a time machine and sentence them to a life where the quarterback is always named Bobby Joe.

I knew I was in an alternate universe when the normally-invisible-except-when-he’s-dropping-a-pass  Nick Toon even barreled his way into the end zone for his first career touchdown.  I get the impression that Payton thinks Toon is their next Marques Colston.  I don’t see it, but what do I know.

The secondary played their best game of the year, picking off Roethlisburger twice just when he was looking like an MVP candidate.

The Saints got off to a slow start as Patrick Robinson (3 possible interceptions) Toon and Colston (who would later score) all dropped the ball early.  But, just when you thought it was going to be a long day, the Saints clicked.  Even Kenny Vacarro, who has been a disappointment this year, made as many big plays (including an interception) as he did drawing penalties.  It was as impressive as it was unexpected.

Now comes the test.  Four games to go.  Which team will show up week to week?  Wish I had a hot tub time machine so I would know ahead of time. Don’t look now, but if this starts a little winning streak, the Saints could win the division, play a home playoff game, and scare some teams that have been very good all year.  Remember when the Giants went 9-7 and rolled through the playoffs?  There’s precedent.  It’s not how you start the race, it’s how you finish it.  And a time machine helps.

Saints Report #11

Random Thoughts as I watched the Saints on Monday Night Football.

Can’t believe all these pundits are picking the Saints to win this game.  I know none of them watch the Saints, but surely they’ve heard how bad we are.

When Ray Lewis is the one talking sense on the panel, it’s time to re-load your panel.  Who’s retiring this year?
Suzy Kolber has lightened her hair color.
I haven’t looked at www.kissingsuzykolber.com for a long time.  Wonder if it’s still up.
The Saints will receive the kick.  I think they know they will need all the possessions they can get.
So glad to see Joe Morgan on the field finally. 
Not that I wanted to see Meachum get hurt, but let’s see what Morgan to do.
Wow, 2 big plays.  Wonder how many targets he’ll get now.  (Answer – he would ultimately get 13 snaps)  Payton must be worried about his stamina.  Why play someone who’s shown game breaking ability?
The Saints can’t run the ball at all, which will make for a long night.
First and goal from the 2 and we don’t score.
Well as I always say, if you can’t run it for a yard, you don’t deserve to win.
Thus – the last 2 weeks.
Normally I want us to run the ball, but this mismatch is rather obvious.  We can’t.
But it is good to see Pierre Thomas breaking tackles.  As bad as we tackle he must score on every play in practice.
Speaking of Pierre’s, I was really surprised to see Pierre Warren cut in training camp.  He seemed to be a playmaker.  And there he is making a takeaway. 
The only thing Marcus Ball has taken so far is his salary, but he beat Warren out?
Speaking of questionable personnel decisions....
Wait, is that a Nick Toon sighting?  By the end of the night he will make his 7^th catch in 3 years.  Quite a return for a 4^th round pick.  I think he has dropped that many passes as well.  A wasted “bloodline” draft pick.
If that was a logical draft pick, based on his dad being Nick Toon, then someone needs to offer me a job as an electrical engineer.
I’ve missed two straight episodes of “The Good Wife” and maybe this is a good time to catch up.
Obama is about to grant a 3 year stay to 5 million immigrants.  Surely, there’s one that can cover Steve Smith.
Sure am glad I don’t live in Baltimore right now.  I’d have to take tomorrow off to hide.
Speaking of Obama, I wonder if he could pardon our defense.
Starting with David Hawthorne who drops an interception served up on a silver platter.  I don’t care what anyone says, are Linebackers are AWOT.  Absent without tackle.
Why does no one ever drop a potential Brees interception?  They gobble them up and run them back like they haven’t eaten for a week.
Does anyone else notice that Brees keeps his helmet on after he throws an interception?
I’m really starting to like Taylor Swift
Texts are coming in from across the country.  Rubbing it in.  Haters gonna hate.
How many hours is it til we can eat turkey?
This Edibaldi guy really hustles.  He seems to catch people from behind.  Of course, he gets lots of opportunities to do that.
Has Rob Ryan ever blitzed just one person?  Does he have to send everybody when he blitzes?  Have we touched Flaco tonight?
Does anyone else see the similarities between Bill Cosby and Darren Sharper?
Other than the fact that either could start for our defense?
Wondering if I should give Homeland another try?  Heard it’s getting better.

Brees finishes an amazing 35 for 45 with 420 yards and 3 TD’s, with no running game support and no defense, but that one interception as he was getting hit is what we will remember.  Wonder where we would be without him?  Wonder where we would be if we had the Raven’s defense. Wonder who wrote the book of love.

Tomorrow everyone will be talking about all the teams in the AFC North being 3 games over .500 and all of the NFC South being 3 games under .500.  Duh, they play each other.  No one in our division matches up with that big brawny division.  Don’t get all excited.  They aren’t that good and we aren’t that bad.  For example, bet we’d match up pretty well with Division I. 

Whew, glad that homestand is over.  Now we can get back on the road where we play so well.  Here’s reality – if we win out against our division, I’m going to have to spring for playoff tickets.  I’m going to have to think about that.

Oh well, there’s Turkey in my future.  Lots of it.

Saints Report #10

The Saints have lost several games this year that could have gone either way, with just a play or two being the difference

This was not one of those games.

In a game that was only briefly in doubt, the Saints got rolled by another AFC North Team.  This time the Cincinnati Bengals came to town and delivered 2 pieces of bad news.  First, a 27 – 10 total domination the likes of which the Superdome hasn’t seen in the Payton era.  Secondly, the Ravens and Steelers are next.

What went wrong on the floor of the dome?  Just about everything.  The Bengals ran the ball at will.  The Saints couldn’t.  The Bengal receivers couldn’t be covered.  The Saints receivers were held in check.  The Bengals offense made several big plays.  The Bengals defense made several big plays.  The Saints offense only made a few.  The Saints defense made none that I can think of.

Bengal big plays?  Well if the Saints had any chance it evaporated on their 2^nd possession of the game after both teams had lengthy drives.  The Bengals put together a goal line stand early in the 2^nd quarter from their own 2 yard line.   A pass on first down fell incomplete.  The Saints commitment to running the ball apparently doesn’t come into play with a first down on the 2.   Two runs then went nowhere, then a 4^th down pass was completed but short of the end zone.

This was just the beginning of a game-long lesson in tackling by the Bengals.  While the Saints were floundering in tackling and coverage, the Bengals kept the Saints receivers in front of them all day, and controlled the line of scrimmage.  It was old-fashioned control-the-clock football, something the Saints, with all their talent on offense can only pretend to, especially when long drives go unfinished.

Meanwhile, the defense was overmatched all day, and when the Bengals needed a big play, QB Andy Dalton just looked to AJ Green, who is going to be a perennial all-pro.  The Saints strategy was to cover him one on one (big mistake) and usually with a rookie (bigger mistake).  The Saints glaring weaknesses at the cornerback position were on full display all day.  If the Saints have 7 draft picks next year, 6 need to be defensive backs.  When your only reliable defender, Keenan Lewis, is injured, choices are few.  Safety Rafael Bush was late in coverage all day, then suffered a broken leg, so he is done for the year, joining rookie safety Vinnie Sunseri on Injured Reserve.  Hopefully Pierre Warren, who was spectacular in pre-season and got cut, has been working out.

By the end of the day all the lessons the Saints had learned were made worse by the fact that they had been caught by the Falcons at the top of the division standings.  Terrific.  A depleted, error-making team is 4-6 with no room for error.  

Saints Report #9

The hit song “Land Down Under” has a famous reference to a Vegamite Sandwich.

The Saints moved down under .500 with another sandwich of their own.  They started weak, and finished weaker, even if the meat of the sandwich was pretty good.  The stale bread was a Drew Brees interception that helped put the Saints in a 14-0 first quarter hole, then a Brees fumble in overtime that led to an immediate field goal for a 27-24 win by the San Francisco 49’ers.

Besides the turnovers that continue to burn the Saints, there were two other plays that will be remembered in this disappointing loss that moved the Saints to 4-5.

The Saints had battled back from a 14-0 first quarter deficit to take a 24-21 lead late into the 4^th quarter.  It was the kind of grind it out comeback lead by the passing of Brees, big catches by Colston, Graham, and Cooks, and pounding running by Ingram that coulda, shoulda served as a signature win for this struggling team. 

But if you thought they were going to hold that lead, you don’t know these Saints.

The defense had played magnificently and had the 49’ers in a 4^th and 10.  Hold them and the game is yours.  But no, just when you think the defense has turned the corner and is ready to seal the deal, they give us another Golden Tate-like moment.  This time it was a 51 yard completion from Colin Kapernick to Michael Crabtree, who somehow got open enough to pitch a tent.  Their field goal sent it to overtime.

But not before Brees threw a perfect Hail Mary to the end zone at the end of regulation that Jimmy Graham caught rather easily.  Too easily as it turned out, when the referees nullified the catch with a rare offensive interference call on Graham for pushing off a defender, who was either a great actor or a pretty weak defensive back.  Traditionally the Hail Mary has featured everyone pushing and shoving in the end zone, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen pass interference called, but if they are going to start calling it, this was probably a good place to start.

A couple of stalled series in the OT led up to Brees getting the ball knocked out of his hand and the Saints 2014 tradition of mistakes at the worst possible moment continued.  They could be 8 – 1 with a little luck at the end of games, but Luck plays for the Colts, and the Saints keep making lousy sandwiches.

The home winning streak is over and the Saints either start a new streak next week against the Bengals or continue to try to give away the division that no one wants.

At the Cinema - October 2014

Gone Girl – 8

Everyone’s talking about this movie and here’s what they’re saying, “It’s just like the book, It’s as good as the book,  It's not as good as the book. It’s different from the book, they changed the ending, they didn’t change the ending, they left some stuff out, blah, blah, blah.”

I didn’t read the book, so I don’t care about all that.  If you are blissfully ignorant, as I am and always want to be upon entering the theater, this movie stands on its own pretty well.

I’m a big fan of Director David Fincher, and while I think this movie doesn’t rise to the level of either The Social Network, or The Girl with The Dragon Tattoo, two of my favorite recent movies, it’s still worth seeing.  I actually got the feeling Fincher went out of his way to please the book fans, probably leaving a few flourishes on the table.

The movie starts on the morning of the 5^th anniversary of Nick Dunne and his wife Amy.  It is the morning that Amy disappears.  Soon Nick is under investigation for her murder as the search for Amy attracts nation-wide attention, because Amy is kind of famous.  Would anyone have cared so much if she wasn't "Amazing Amy?'

Ben Affleck is the perfect oaf as Nick.  He quickly loses any sympathy as suspicion grows.  The movie is a history lesson of their relationship.  But as Amy’s story is told in flashback with her own voiceover discussing their marital woes, the mystery deepens and becomes more complex with each twist.  Rosamund Pike is stunning as she tells the story of her marriage.  What happened to Amy turns out to be less important than why it happened.

The supporting cast like Kim Dickens (whom I love from Treme) and Carrie Coon (whom I love from The Leftovers) are all terrific.  The movie is good, but it never soars to the level I guess all those readers expected.

Nightcrawler – 8

This is a movie that will make you feel like you’ve been slimed and that’s exactly the way the filmmakers want it.  If you go see a horror movie today, you know you’re watching fantasy.  This movie slithers along with just enough reality to make you want to go take a shower. 

There are two distinct themes at work.  The first is a character study of a slick psychotic who will assert his will to get whatever he wants.

Jake Gyllenhaal plays Louis, a hustler with the moral compass of Charles Manson.  He also comes armed with a talkative charm filled with internet sound bites.  When he stumbles upon a potential profession racing to crime scenes, filming the gore, and selling it to a TV station where “if it bleeds, it leads,” he seems to have found his calling.  Gyllenhaal’s performance is terrific as Louis.  You can’t compromise your ethics if you don’t have any, but he shows that you can actually go ever lower and lower in a quest for prominence. 

The second theme is a satirical look at the deteriorating level of what passes for journalism in this TMZ era.  Renee Russo is the second rate news producer of the last place news show.  She becomes a willing purchaser of his exclusive footage, and they each manipulate each other, him trying to create a career, and her trying to salvage one. 

The film culminates in a thrilling car chase that Louis and his reluctant assistant Rick initiate, then are right in the middle of.  It’s a masterpiece of filmmaking by first time director Dan Gilroy.  This won’t be his last film, not the way he captures this.  We’re in for more sliming.

The Judge – 7

You’ll like this movie if you like charaismatic acting and a smorgasboard plot.

Robert Duvall is the judge and Robert Downey Jr. is the estranged son who must defend him from a murder charge.  That’s the essence of this very typical movie as constructed by the people who make movies today.  The stars, including Vincent D’onofrio, Vera Farmiglia, Billy Bob Thornton, and Leighton Meester (hotter than a firecracker) are terrific, the plots are all over the place, and the movie is about 20 minutes too long

There’s feel good.  There’s feel bad.  And there’s everything in between as The Judge struggles to maintain his long legacy of public service despite the fact that he may have run an ex-con over with his old car. 

Robert Downey Jr and Robert Duvall are such magical screen presences here that they hold your attention through all the wildness as the script gyrates them all over the place.  It’s kind of like rolling several TV movies together. Just try to keep up. 

Here's the amazing Carrie Coon of The Leftover and Gone Girl:

Saints Report #8

The First Place New Orleans Saints.  Whew, that took awhile.

With two blow out wins in 5 days the Saints moved into first place with a 4-4 record in the decrepit NFC South. 

The Saints brought their defense and their running game on the road and knocked off the Carolina Panthers 28 – 10.  Two typical road turnovers kept the first half close but the Saints closed strong to lead 14 – 0 at the half.  They put the game away in the second half as they continued their trend of offensive balance.

Finally the Saints inexplicable seven game regular season road losing streak came to an end.  During the streak they found every possible way to give games away, usually with well-timed turnovers.  In this game Carolina matched the Saints turnovers.  Cam Newton looked like Clayton Kershaw, with his fastballs missing the mark, to Drew Brees’ Madison Baumgartner imitation.  Brees tried to force a few, but when clean in the pocket, he threw strikes.  His pitch count of 34 attempts to go with about the same number of rushing attempts, mostly by Mark Ingram who ran for 100 yards, struck that perfect balance that makes the Saints so dangerous.  Sean Payton has gone through a play calling rebirth.  The Saints ran the ball, controlled the clock, and kept their defense rested.

The simplified Ryan defense responded with another good performance, although they were helped by the wildness of Cam Newton, who simply couldn’t find the strike zone.  One last baseball analogy.  The Saints receivers played errorless ball.  Graham and Colston who have both had critical drops, were rock solid, and Graham seems to be rounding into that all-pro form.  Even Robert Meachum caught a pass.

After a long weekend it’s time for a home stand.  But it is going to be a tough one as the teams coming in (49ers, Bengals, and Ravens) are very good teams.  It’s obvious that the Saints would rather play great teams at home than good teams on the road.  Their formula for success appears simple.  The Saints will win the battles with boots on the ground, which will only help their air superiority.  

After a disconcerting start, maybe the Saints are beginning to be what we thought they’d be.  The last two games have certainly been the team we expected to see when the season began.  Too bad it took half a season.  The season has resembled a roller coaster with little hills and valleys, then a big climb to the top of the hill, with the Saints sitting at the top of the big hill, ready to roll down through the second half. 

We hope.

By the way, here's my World Series comment.  If you watched you saw the single most valuable baseball performance of all time.  Madison Baumgartner's pitching surpassed gems of the past like Micky Lolich, Orel Hershiser, and Jack Morris.  Here's why - he was virtually a one man team, which usually doesn't win in baseball.  The San Francisco Giants played a very average Series, and their pitching was none too stellar.  Except for Madison.  The only comparison I could come up with was Sandy Koufax, who remains the best pitcher I've ever seen.  Sandy's games were often 1-0 because Dodger bats were anemic.

Why is baseball the greatest game?  Because the playoffs and World Series are different.  It humbles some (Clayton Kershaw) and allows others to elevate (Baumgartner.)  Baumgartner's slingshot deliver which on TV seemed to come out of right field, not center field, was dominant and it leads me to one question.  Why can a lefthander slingshot it, and a right hander can't?  Something to do with the earth's rotation?  If you can answer that one, please email me.

Saints Report #7

Much separates New Orleans and the surrounding areas from most other metro areas in their Monday atmosphere.

There are two things you can be sure of on Monday.  First there are a whole lot of people eating red beans and rice.   Secondly, the mood is especially good after a Saints win on Sunday.  Extra sausage with those red beans, please.

Today is such a day.  All is right with the world, at least until Thursday night.

On Sunday the Saints were visited by a formidable Green Bay Packer team, one that still may make a Super Bowl trip, although it is looking more and more to me like the Detroit Lions may be the team of destiny this year in the NFC.  Considering the Lions are working miracles without Calvin Johnson, yesterday doing the Saints a big favor by coming back from a 21-0 halftime deficit to beat the hapless Falcons, they just are beginning to build that “we can do anything” confidence that the Saints seem to only have on Poydras street.  Wouldn’t an Arizona vs. Lion NFC finals be something?  There’s a long way to go yet, though, and maybe the Saints will yet have something to say.

Back to the Superdome.

The Saints and Packers seemed to be headed for a shootout Sunday night, if a field goal heavy game can be considered a shootout.  Then all-world Aaron Rodgers pulled a hammie, then pulled a Geno by throwing a couple of interceptions, while the Saints kept right on rolling, putting up a 44 spot, to win 44 – 23, which is a blowout you wouldn’t have seen coming if you were driving a Corvair.

Where did this come from?  Well, first Sean Payton just couldn’t avoid the obvious on film.  The Packers are horrible against the run, dead last in the NFL after this game, and despite the fact that the Saints were down to two running backs, he committed to the run.  Mark Ingram had his long awaited breakout game, running for 172 yards, and the Saints actually were 50/50 run/pass.  Thus Drew Brees, throwing 20 some less passes than usual, had a brilliant game, going 27 for 32 for 310 yards, including a bomb or two to showcase his diminished arm strength(!).  The effective running game, along with the return of Jimmy Graham, kept Brees clean in the pocket and isn’t it amazing what all that can do for offensive effectiveness?  Chewing up the clock with the running game, finally getting Brandon Cooks deep for a touchdown, a defense that bent all night, but played pretty well in the red zone - all of this adds up to a promising future as the Saints can actually take first place in the division at 4-4 on Thursday night with a win.

All they have to do is take all this, pack it in a suitcase, put in on a plane, and carry it to Charlotte.  Just once, take it on the road, guys.  As Brian Wilson says, “Wouldn’t it be nice?”  It could make a Halloween Friday even more fun than usual.

Saints Report #6

The Saints traveled to Ford Field in Detroit and blew a game 24 – 23 on Sunday.  It was an epic collapse. In a season that was so optimistically anticipated the Saints have pivoted from being a fearsome contender to being a team that no one fears. 

There is a razor thin difference between good and bad teams in the NFL.  Yet somehow good teams, which the Saints have been for most of the last 8 years, pull games out of the fire often, occasionally win when they shouldn’t, usually win when they should, and just seem to find a way to a winning record.  But for most of their history, the Saints have been one of “those” teams who just seem to come up short, finding a way to lose.  

Bad news for the Who Dat nation.

The Saints seem to again be one of “those” teams.

One of “those” teams that can snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.

One of “those” teams that can’t protect a lead in the 4^th quarter.

One of “those” teams that can’t run the ball to control the clock when it needs to.

One of “those” teams that can’t protect the quarterback when he needs time to throw.

One of “those” teams that outplay the other team for 3 quarters only to blow it in the clutch.

One of “those” teams that blows a 23 – 10 lead with just 4 minutes to go

One of “those” teams that gives up a big play after holding the opposing offense down for 56 minutes.

One of “those” teams whose quarterback throws a critical interception at the exact wrong moment.

One of “those” teams that always seems to draw a penalty flag when they need it the least.

And on and on.

After dominating the Lions for 56 minutes, even leading 17 - 3 at one point, the Saints collapsed as if the quarterback was named Hebert, and the coach was named, well pick one….  Leading 23 – 10, the Saints seemed to have the game well in hand, when they gave up an inexplicable 70 yard touchdown pass to Golden Tate pulling the Lions to 23 – 17.  The Saints got the ball and desperately needed a time-consuming drive to seal the victory.  What they got was the worst possible alternative.  Drew Brees had carried the load all day with the running game totally awol against the Lions top-rated defense.  But he threw an interception that got returned to the 15. 

Then the defense, which had also been terrific all day, almost held, but Rafael Bush got called for pass interference on 4^th down, and the Lions scored their second touchdown in 2 minutes and change to take control 24-23. 

Then the Saints last drive fizzled just like you would expect of one of “those” teams.  It was the 7^th consecutive road loss, but this is one that really got away, lifted away by all of the past franchise ghosts.

Now their home winning streak is on the line as the Packers come to the dome next Sunday night. 

Unfortunately, this will be a match-up of two teams going in opposite directions.  Confidence is low.

There is only one piece of good news.  The Saints are getting brutalized by their schedule, but so is the rest of the division, easily the weakest in the NFL.  Even at 2 – 4, the Saints are still in contention, which is the last thing you’d expect of one of “those” teams, but just what you would expect of a team that has tortured its fan base with losses like this for the better part of their existence.  Give ‘em just enough hope to keep ‘em coming back for more.  The problem is we’ve been spoiled for 8 years and we were expecting so much more.  The Who Dat nation is exhibiting some of the entitled impatience of Steeler, Patriot, or Packer fans.  When you get used to success you just don't want to go back to being one of "those" teams. 

Saints Report # 5

Please forgive me for the following description of today’s Saints Game:

The Saints took a big Ugly stick and stuck it in their rectum and pulled this game out of their ass.

They won ugly in overtime, beating Tampa Bay 37 – 31.

This game was so ugly in so many ways.

First, it has often been said that the NFL will someday evolve into flag football.  Bad news. 

That day has come.  The flags are yellow.  Two of the Saints most exciting moments were when the Bucs were flagged AFTER scoring touchdowns.  Once it was for inappropriate language.  I’m not making this up.  In a Football Game!  This game featured so many momentum shifts initiated by zebras that a big game warden was needed.

Second, Drew Brees threw a couple of the ugliest interceptions ever, making the zebras look innocent by-standers by comparison when it comes to momentum shifters.

Third, except for one critical play, the Saints failed to put any pressure on Bucs Quarterback Mike Glennon, making him look all-world most of the day.  The Saints continue to excel at their Star is Born routine.

Fourth, the Saints continue to feature bizarre personnel decisions.  Joe Morgan continues to be a game day inactive even though he’s proven he can get deep, and Robert Meachum, whom the Saints previously cut, is still running routes and not catching anything.  On Brees’ first interception, admittedly horrible, Tavaris Cadet was split out as a wide receiver.  He didn’t come back to the ball, which a wide receiver may have done.  And Where is Nick Toon?  Can I have his job?  This is his 3^rd season on the roster, he is rarely active, and has 4 receptions in his career.  We are keeping him around why? 

The game featured the kiss of death, the dreaded 6 – 0 lead, 2 field goals instead of 2 touchdowns.  Patented Jimmy Graham drops kept the Saints from doing more damage.

What was the good news?

Brees giveth and he taketh away as he attempted a ridiculous 57 passes.  The Saints were down 31 – 20 early in the 4^th quarter, largely because Drew had squandered a 13 – 0 lead with his picks and watched the Bucs reel off 24 straight points.  Then he led the comeback.  A safety on the Saints’ only sack of the day was a significant play, and the Saints tied the score with a field goal.  Then Brees methodically piloted the Saints down the field in overtime, capped off by a rare 2^nd down run on which Khiry Robinson scored to end the game.

The Saints actually displayed a running game.

Pierre Thomas was terrific, scoring 2 touchdowns, one by run, one on a pass.  He continues to be the consummate pro and maybe someday the Saints will figure out a way to get him 20 touches a game.

Khiry Robinson was almost as good and pounded away all day.

When it’s all said and done, this was a critical win.  Moving to 2 – 3 heading into the bye week certainly keeps the Saints in contention in what is shaping up as a mediocre NFC South.

A downright ugly division. 

Perfect for a team that can win ugly.


By the way, one night a few years back, Marques and Pierre wanted to take a picture with Donnie, Liz, and Me.  Guess it was because I took the time to coach them up....

At The Cinema - September 2014

A Walk Among the Tombstones – 7

You’ll like this movie if you like atmosphere, murder, and Liam Neeson

Finally, the worst summer of movies I can remember brings an adult movie.  The Liam Neeson renaissance continues with this murky tale of two creepy killers who kidnap and dismember young women.  Neeson plays Matt Scudder, a retired NYPD cop who is still carrying and flashing his old badge as an unlicensed private investigator and doer of favors for questionable characters. 

The movie begins on the day in 1991 that the heavy drinking cop Scudder stops drinking because of a shootout he gets involved in while inebriated. 

The movie jumps to 1999 when Scudder is now a PI.  It’s an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting that leads Scudder to a client.  He’s a drug dealer whose wife was kidnapped and when he couldn’t pay all the ransom, the kidnappers chop her body up and leave it in a trunk.  It seems their business plan is to pick on drug dealers, and it is a lucrative if risky one.  If you are going to execute such a plan it certainly helps to be completely psycho and this pair fits the bill. 

Scudder immediately realizes what he is dealing with and the action ramps up.  If you’ve missed good old fashioned detective movies, this one is a throwback.  But rest assured The Maltese Falcon had no blood and gore like this one dishes up.  These are gruesome sickos and the climax is predestined to be a wet one, even if they go a little bit overboard with alcoholism imagery.

This is Where I Leave You – 7

You’ll like this movie if you like dysfunctional family comedies.

This is a star-studded affair about a father who dies leaving a wife (an enthusiastically enhanced Jane Fonda) who breaks the news to her 4 children (Tina Fey, Corey Stoler, Jason Bateman, and Adam Dryer) that the father wants them to sit chiva after his death, even though the family is not Jewish.  So why?  It’s called a plot device, just like the affairs three of the kids will cram into the next week.  Seven days of family togetherness would test a family with no drama.  This is not that family.

This script is a hodge podgy mess.  The direction is incoherent.  But stars are stars for a reason.  They command your attention, and make you believe.  So the crew yanks the laughs out of the material and you almost believe it all.  It’s not all bad. 

Here’s the fun I have at a movie like this.  I recently started binge watching a TV show called Rectify and was taken with an actress named Abigail Spencer who steals every scene she’s in.  Cool show and very promising actress.  She’s in this movie as Jason Bateman’s cheating wife and she’s POW!  I love spotting someone I think is a future star.

So I can’t wait to see what she does next. 

Just like, I can’t wait to see Carrie Coon (The Leftovers on HBO) in Gone Girl.

I can’t wait to see Jessica Chastain again.

I can’t wait to see what Brit Marling does next.

I wish Kate Beckinsale would get a great script

I wish Emmy Rossum would make a musical (preferably with Anne Hathaway and Anna Kendrick)

I wish Rooney Mara would do another Girl with the Dragon Tattoo movie.

Scanning the Satellite

Parkland – 8

Parkland is the hospital in Dallas where both John F Kennedy and Lee Harvey Oswald were taken to try to save their lives.  This is a star studded docudrama that recounts those memorable 3 days in Dallas in 1963.  It’s a matter of fact re-telling and the details it reveals are fascinating.  Don't know why this movie was so under the radar.

And here's Abigail

Saints Report # 3

The season of high hopes is slowly disintegrating.  In the most abysmal performance of the Sean Payton era, the Saints continued their road horror show by travelling to Dallas and getting manhandled in a 38-17 blowout.  They are now solidly in last place in the NFC South. 

With a quarter of the season in the books, it is now painfully obvious that the over-hyped Saints are destined to be an 8 – 8 team, assuming, as one must at this point, that the Saints will win all their home games and lose all their away games.  One strategy at this point might be to selectively forfeit a few road games and preserve their health.  After all, losing 6 straight regular-season road games, and going 1-8 in the last 9 makes every road game a long shot.

The recent history of Saints vs Cowboys contests is one of momentum.  One team gets rolling, and it’s over early.  The Cowboys led 31 – 3 going into the 4^th quarter and it was over despite some late saber-rattling by the Saints offense.

The Saints defensive line led the lack of charge.  They couldn’t stop the run – DeMarcus Murray ran easily.  They couldn’t pressure that most susceptible-to-pressure-of-quarterbacks Tony Romo. 

Critical drops by Colston and Graham, and fumbles by Graham and Cadet sealed the loss.  And I won’t even mention the Brees interception on, of course, a 2^nd and short play when the Saints should have been running the ball.

So what’s wrong with the Saints?  Start with the defensive line.  A great, or at least good pass rush from your front four is a pretty good starting formula for success in the NFL.  Stalwarts Cameron Jordan and Junior Galette have been absent.  The middles of the line has been worse.  The blitzes have been predictable and too over-done.  Rob – sometimes you only need to blitz one person, not four. 

The offensive line has been only marginally better.  Brees looks like he’s auditioning for Dancing with the Stars the way he has to boogey in the pocket.  No one respects the running game of the Saints, including the Saints. Let's just say there are many opportunities for improvement, but football is still first and foremost a game of power in the trenches.  That's where the Saints are losing battle after battle and I don't know if there is a quick fix for the shortcomings.  

Next up is Tampa Bay for a Superdome battle of the two last place teams.  Don’t get excited.  The Saints have an explosive offense and an explodable defense.  I didn’t like the Saints schedule the moment I saw it, and I still don’t.  Three of the first four on the road against good teams, and great teams coming to the dome in rapid succession.  Maybe 8 – 8 is optimistic.  The turnaround needs to start soon.  

Saints Report # 3

In a game memorable only for a sack that was the turning point for the sacked team, the New Orleans Saints slogged their way to a 20 – 9 Superdome victory, their 9^th straight home win. To a relieved who dat nation, the Saints restored their relevance by scoring 3 touchdowns, while allowing 3 field goals.

So, what does the 32 team NFL look like (besides a PR nightmare) after 3 weeks?

One team in the AFC is 3 – 0, the Cincinnati Bengals.

In the NFC team, 2 teams are 3 – 0, the Arizona Cardinals and the Philadelphia Eagles.

There are 3 teams that are winless, not surprisingly the Jaguars, Bucs, and the Raiders.

The other 26 teams are either 2 – 1 or 1 – 2 (like the Saints.)

So, the league has come back to the slow-starting Saints.

Sunday the Saints red zone defense was improved, as they turned threats into harmless field goals, although they gave up huge chunks of passing yardage on occasion.    When Vikings QB Matt Cassell broke his foot, rookie Teddy Bridgewater’s NFL career began.  Naturally he looked all-world at times against the Saints, but the Saints showed him their “bend but not break” defense, you know, the one they used last year.  The star on defense was Curtis Lofton who at times appeared to be reading the Vikings playbook.

The Saints started crisply on offense as their first two drives resulted in touchdowns.  Brees was efficient, and the running game was clicking behind Khiry Robinson and Pierre Thomas.  Then suddenly, the offense got a case of the “punts.”  As the 4^th quarter began, the Saints clung to a modest 13 – 9 lead, With the pressure ratcheted up on Brees, the play of the game came when the Vikings’ Captain Munnerlyn slammed Brees to the turf on a 3^rd down sack, drawing a personal foul penalty and a rare display of emotion from Brees.  What would have ended the drive restarted it, and the Saints 90 yard drive put the game away.

Stars on offense?  Start with Brandin Cooks, who made several difficult catches, and is playing like a 3^rd year receiver.  His chemistry with Brees is already evident.  Brees spread it around to his receiving corps, as usual, including touchdown passes to Josh Hill and Marques Colston, his 56^th TD as a Saint. 

Next up is a trip to Dallas to play the NFL’s most unpredictable team.  Which Tony Romo will show up?  Do the Saints have anyone that can remotely come close to covering Dez Bryant?  Will the offense come close to its 40 first down performance of last year?  Will Jerry Jones have any more pictures released?

Stay tuned.

Saints Report # 2

Pat Sajak, “The category is Before and After.”

R_A_

WO_

IS M_

Sean, “Can I buy a vowel?”

No, time’s up, the answer is

ROAD WOE IS ME.

No trips to the playoffs for you.

The Payton era of Saints football will be remembered as follows:
One Super Bowl (hopefully more) 
Record Setting Offense
Road Woe is Me

For the second consecutive week the Saints went on the road, brought a porous defense, played a sloppy game, and lost on a field goal at the end.

Don’t get too upset.  This was not unforeseen. 

Starting 0-2 in two away games was a huge fear, but is not surprising given the road woes of the Payton era.  While often dominant in the Superdome, the Saints are an average road team.

The question is why? 

In their 26 – 24 loss to the usually cooperative Cleveland Browns, the Saints defense made Bryan Hoyer look like a genius as he consistently read the Saints defensive tendencies.  Tendencies.  The league has figured out the Saints’ tendencies, like blitzing too many players on the biggest play of the game.  Charles Durning's legacy endures.

Meanwhile the Saints offense sometimes confounds the most ardent supporters.  Apparently the league read the Sports Illustrated NFL preview edition where the writer explained that Sean Payton likes to come out in a lot of different formations to start the game to see what defenses are going to do.  What the article didn’t say was they are all passing formations.  So while most teams smash a little mouth to start the game, the Saints do a little dance, just to see what their partner’s going to do.  We can establish the run game later, after we’ve given up the first few possessions. 

Most frustrating down?  Second.  For some reason the Payton playcard dictates shotgun on second down, even if it’s 2^nd and 6.  Why not just run the ball?  It is a confounding tendency that they treat 2^nd and 4 as a passing down.   “Hey, we can run it 4 yards, or we can go with an empty backfield!”  Makes for a lot of unnecessary third downs.

When the Saints run the ball well, as they did after the first quarter (yes even Mark Ingram), they are hard to stop.  Critics like to blame the offense for the road woes, and sometimes that’s true.  But, the opposing team’s noise should make it harder for your offense.  Home field should be worth 10 points off.  At the Superdome it certainly does.  The offense has been frustrating, and a pick 6 Brees toss may have been the deciding factor, but the truth is that the offense, while not dominant, has played well enough to win.

But, to win on the road, the defense must travel.  Ours just doesn’t.  It looks like the addition of Jarius Byrd, and the position change for Kenny Vacarro has been a wash.  The Saints linebackers are too slow to cover, and one cornerback is a magnet for the opposition to pick on.  Jabari Greer retired this week after last year’s injury.  Greer and Tracey Porter, or Keenan Lewis and Patrick Robinson?  Who would you take?  Right about now the Who Dat nation would trade PRob for a Roast Beef Po-boy from Parkway Tavern, because well, we know the gravy covers the roast beef, and we like coverage.

Next up, Adrian Peterson and his Viking band of disciplinarians will undoubtedly get a warm welcome in the Superdome.  The NFL has had the worst two weeks in the history of the league, and the Saints have been right in step.  Unfortunately, and rather surprisingly, the Carolina Panthers have picked up where they left off, and the Saints are already in a divot.  If the team must win 11 games to make the playoffs, that means they must go 11 – 3 the rest of the way, and even that won't secure the home field advantage we obviously need even more than I thought we did before we got rock and rolled in Cleveland.  11 - 3 is possible I guess.  But, only if something changes on defense.  Like our tendencies.  

Here's the locker room scene:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I6mpHW3SMcc

Saints Report #1 - September 7, 2014

The only thing missing Sunday was Steve Spagnoulo as the Saints reverted to their defensive form of that lost year of 2012 by allowing a whopping 568 yards to Atlanta.    The Falcons’ 37 – 34 overtime victory was not unexpected, but still a bitter way to start the season, especially since the Saints squandered a 13 – 0 lead.

How did Matt Ryan throw for a franchise record 448 yards?  The pocket.  The Saints surprising approach was to pressure Ryan not at all.  The pocket might as well have been the Great Wall of China.

Quarterbacks have a mental clock running in their head as they drop back.  Here’s what a typical Ryan sequence had to have been like:

Count one:  I see the safeties are deep, I’m going to have to throw underneath

Count two:  Roddy White should be breaking open pretty quickly

Count three:  Julius Jones should also be open now

Count four:  No reason to hurry here, I’m thinking about pizza after the game

Count five:  This is nice protection and I’m guessing the kids will want pepperoni, but I really like sausage

Count six:  I wonder if Tony Gonzalez is watching the game.  He’d really enjoy this

Count seven:  Let me move a little here as there’s a little commotion on my left

Count eight: Zip

Lesson 1:  Very few teams have the cornerbacks to cover both Julio Jones and Roddy White, and the Saints are one of them.  The Falcons, with the addition of Devin Hester have 4 legit wide receivers.  If you think you can sit back and play coverage, you’ve got what we’ll call “The Spags.”

On the offensive side of the ball, the Saints were efficient, but their two turnovers cost them dearly.  Both teams had end zone turnovers. The Saints marched down the field and Brees tried to force a ball into Brandin Cooks in the end zone and the interception cost the Saints precious points.

Then in overtime, the normally reliable Marquis Colston had a rough day, dropping the first pass, then catching and fumbling the second.  Matt Bryant kicked the tie breaker through from 52.

Other than that, the Saints offense looked sharp.  Brees threw for 333 yards and looked primed for another productive year.   Rookie Brandin Cooks showed great promise, and I’ll bet anyone who wants to bet $1, that he caught more passes (7) in this game than Nick Toon will in his NFL career.  Toon was inactive after being kept on the squad, but Robert Meachem was active even though he was cut and brought back.  Just thought I would mention that mystery.  Yep, we kept Toon, but cut Ryan Griffin, who after a rough opening Sunday for QB’s will undoubtedly get picked up this week. 

Lesson 2:  the Saints offense is probably good for about 34 a day.  Rob Ryan’s defense looked terrible and all they have to do is hold the opponents under say 30 a game and the Saints will be fine. 

So now the Saints travel to Cleveland.  One has to get excited about what could be going through Johnny Football’s mind should he get on the field:

Count 1:  Whoa, where is that linebacker running to?

Count 2:  Hey this is fun and these guys are really fast

Count 3:  Where did my slot guy run off to?

Count 4:  I wonder if my pictures are safe in the cloud?

Count 5:  All these celebrities had their nude pictures stolen from the cloud and published on the internet but where are they and why can’t I find them?

Count 6:  I’ve got to find Jennifer Lawrence’s pictures.

Count 7:  I better run 

Count 8:  Zip.  I wonder if I'll ever meet Miley Cyrus?

Saints Report - NFL Preview edition

February 1, 2015 – The Shootout to end all shootouts.

After the 2 star quarterbacks were done throwing darts, it was a kicker who decided the highest scoring, and only overtime Super Bowl in history, as the Saints beat the Patriots 48 – 45.

Sean Payton had no choice but to send out Shayne Graham to try the game winner from 48 yards, despite misses from 42 and 35 earlier in the game.  “One of the reasons we went with a veteran kicker this year, was we knew he could rebound from adversity, and he certainly had to do that tonight,” said Payton of the veteran Graham who drilled the game winner as the French Quarter went crazier than usual. 

Through all the offensive fireworks that Tom Brady and Drew Brees provided, how could a defensive player be named Super Bowl MVP?  Well, pick off a Brady pass to set up the game-winner, along with 12 tackles and a fumble recovery – that was the formula used by NFL Defensive Player of the Year Kenny Vaccaro, who was all over the field making plays and had to be helped off at the end like a Kellen Winslow.

It was Vaccaro who provided the latest heartbreak for Brady, who up until the overtime had been flawless, going 40 for 45 for 407 yards, records unlikely to ever be broken, unless of course the NFL tightens the defensive rules again in the future.  Brady’s 6 touchdown passes, 3 to Rob Gronkowski, were almost matched by Drew Brees, who was 32 for 40 for 353 yards, which may be even more amazing when you consider that Bill Belichick’s defensive game plan was so effective in taking away the Saints main weapons.  Darrelle Revis blanketed NFL Offensive Rookie of the Year Brandin Cooks and held him to only 3 catches for 25 yards.  Jimmy Graham’s regular season record setting performance (1412 yards) was but a memory, as the Patriots held him to 45 yards on 4 catches.  But, in the end the Saints had too many weapons, and Marques Colston (12 catches for 145 yards) was the one who took most advantage as he and Pierre Thomas (8 grabs) and Kenny Stills (6) kept the chains moving.

The Patriots heartbreak followed their own breaking of hearts in the AFC Championship when they again went into Indianapolis and ended the Colts season, as Brady outdueled NFL MVP Andrew Luck in another overtime thriller 38-32.

The Saints were not well received in Phoenix, as they had broken the hearts of Arizona Cardinals’ fans in the NFC Championship game in the Superdome.  Arizona’s dream of playing a home game in their Super Bowl was ended when Brees’ final minute touchdown pass to Graham snatched victory from their grasp 24 – 21.  As his Saint’s teammates hilariously tackled Graham before he could dunk, New Orleans began to party as only it can.

It all begs the question.  How good are they really?  Brees and Payton?  Brady and Belichick?  Joined at the hip like no other coach/quarterback tandems, how good would the 4 have done without each other?

One of the four will have to retire before we get an inkling..

THAT’s how the upcoming NFL season will end.  How will we get there?

Well for the Saint’s it won’t be easy.                                                                                                                                      

There are 3 basic obstacles. 

First, there are injuries.  If the Saints can stay healthy, to put it simply, they are loaded.  They have assembled a cast of complimentary talent that rivals their 2009 club.  New playmakers like Cooks on offense and Julius Byrd on defense, and the continued emergence of Vaccaro bode well for the Saints. 

Second, there is the West Coast.  The Saints have lost in the playoffs 3 of the last 4 years on the West Coast, and home field advantage for their high powered offense is essential.

Which brings us to the brutal schedule. 

Two games on the road to start the season is almost not fair.

It starts with a critical in-division matchup with an Atlanta Falcons team that will undoubtedly be surly and ready to show that they never want to star in “Hard-Knocks” again.  The Falcons have added Devin Hester (putting all the heat on punter/kick off man Thomas Morestead) and Osi Umenyiora and with their two star wide outs healthy, the usual home and home rivalry split is a probability.

Next it will be 2 games potentially against rookie quarterbacks, which the Saints have a history of making stars out of.  First up a trip to Cleveland.  Will Johnny Football be the starter by week 2?  Let’s hope not.

Will Teddy Bridgewater be the Vikings starter by game 3 for the Saints’ home opener?  Let’s hope not.  Young mobile quarterbacks (remember RGIII?) scare me.

So we’ll have a pretty good idea of how things look after the first 3 weeks.

The second scary part of the schedule comes in October when the Saints must play the Packers on a Sunday night, come back on Thursday night against the Panthers, followed by the 49’ers the next Sunday.  That’s a tough 2 weeks.  November is equally difficult with an AFC North sprint with the Bengals, Ravens, and Steelers back to back to back.

It’s brutal, and the NFL ices the cake (and probably the field) with their annual dispatching of the Saints to Soldier Field.

So, once again it will be just like Ringo says.  The Saints won’t go undefeated, but they now realize that outright clunkers like last year’s games against the Rams and Jets are extremely costly in terms of home field advantage in the Playoffs.

Other Predictions:

The Seahawks will look dominate until about midway through the season.  That’s how long teams are usually super – about a year and a half.

The Broncos will start slow, but end up in the playoffs until Manning has his usual season ending clunker.

Green Bay, New Orleans, Philadelphia, and Arizona (surprise) will be division winners, with the 49’ers and Seahawks as the wild cards.

Denver, New England, Baltimore and Indianapolis will be division winners, with Miami and Pittsburgh as the wild cards.

What has distinguished the last 2 Super Bowl winners has been the breakthrough of til-then non-elite quarterbacks Flaco and Wilson.  Luck is the most likely to take the next step, but his team isn’t quite strong enough despite being in a cakewalk division.  Super Bowl XLIVXIC or whatever it is should see a return to a top 5 QB winner.

There, now you can take a vacation in South America since you already know how it will end.