Saints Report # 16

As we nestle in for a long winter’s nap, we’ll relax and enjoy the bowl games and the NFL playoffs stress free and happy go lucky, BECAUSE THE SAINTS BLEW IT.

Sunday the Saints closed out one of their most disappointing seasons with a 7-9 record. Blech!  They were less than impressive as they came from 13 points down in the 4^th quarter to beat the Tampa Bay Lovie’s 23-20.  The defense stiffened in the second half, allowing the offense to catch up. 

So the post mortem on the Saints season is ugly.  Let’s do the autopsy.

Dissecting the defense is easy.  It was terrible most of the time.  Problem number one was the pass rush.  The Black and Gold defense didn’t exactly turn any quarterback Black and Blue.  Rob Ryan has failed at numerous stops.  Is he the problem?  Is he the answer?  Who knows?  When you can’t get pressure from your front four, you better blitz effectively.  The Saints rarely did.  His “bring the house” blitzes on big plays were predictable and easily picked apart by good quarterbacks. 

Which brings me to the next line of defense, the linebackers.  Curtis Lofton is a tackling machine, but the other rotating cast was slow, un-athletic, and rarely effective.

Then there was the defensive backfield.  Only Keenan Lewis was acceptable.  Jarius Byrd was injured before he was injured for good, so he showed little.  Kenny Vaccarro was a huge sophomore disappointment.  Defensive Backs needed – about 5.

On the offensive side of the football, Drew Brees remained one of the top 5 quarterbacks in the NFL, but he took some unnecessary chances, and most of them were disastrous interceptions.

Running Back is a tough call.  Mark Ingram is a grinder, but doesn’t evade or break tackles like a top running back.  Pierre Thomas was reliable, but only when he could stay off the injured list.  Khiry Robinson and Tavaris Cadet are being groomed for the future, but didn’t excite anyone.  I’ve often wondered if our running backs were evasive in practice against our poor defense, leading to some poor evaluations.  In the games, our defense tackles poorly, and our backs are tackled too easily.  I’d love to see an accounting of tackles broken/tackles missed.  I think it would be ugly and lopsided.

The offensive line was a disaster most of the time, keeping Brees under duress and leaving the running game with little room to run. 

Our wide receivers were a conundrum to themselves.  Rookie Brandon Cooks looks like a long term starter, but didn’t deliver the big plays we envisioned before he got hurt.  Kenny Stills progressed into the most consistent receiver.  Marques Colston was inconsistent, but Brees still relies on him and if Nick Toon is the heir apparent in the “big receiver” role we are in trouble.

Then there’s Jimmy Graham, superstar.  Because he was perceived to be the league’s best, the Saints overpaid him, only to watch him drop too many passes, perhaps due to injury.  It is a sign of Sean Payton’s desperation as the year wore on that he continued to play Graham while hurt, something he has adamantly refused to do in the past with other players.   We now have too much money allocated to the tight end position.

Sean Payton’s offense became predictable.  As his coaching tree spreads, (Chicago, Detroit, Buffalo) other teams are running his offense, allowing defensive coordinators to better prepare. It’s time for some further innovation.

The Saints are in cap hell, but it can be remedied.  They need a lot of players.  The over/under on new Saints for 2015 is 15.    I’m thinking 20.

Saints Report # 15

Q:  What odds could you have gotten betting that the Saints would lose 5 straight home games after winning 20 in a row?
A:  A Breesizilion to one.

Q:  What odds could you have gotten betting that the Falcons could win the division by going 6-0 in the division and 1-9 outside it, which could be the case by Sunday night?
A:   Dammit Jim, I’m a doctor, not a gambler

Q:  Is Jimmy Graham a football player or a basketball player?
A:  He keeps dribbling the ball, you tell me

Q:  How much time did Matt Ryan have to throw Sunday when they beat the Saints 30 – 14?
A:  You could’ve timed it with a sundial

Q:  Do you have a nickname you’d like to propose for our offensive line?
A:  Yes.  “Unabated to the Quarterback.”

Q:  Is Devery Henderson walking through that door?
A:  No

Q:  We’ve never really been able to replace him as a deep threat have we?
A:  Joe Morgan, but apparently Sean Payton thought he was better suited as a second baseman

Q:  Is Will Smith walking through that door?
A:  Not the Will Smith you’re thinking of.

Q:  Kenny Stills and Marques Colston played well though didn’t they?
A:  Yes, but Julio Jones was the best player on the field

Q:  Don’t Super Bowl teams have to re-load all the time.
A:  Yes. 

Q:  Where is training camp for the Saints next year?
A:  Chicago.  Goodell has mandated it.

Q:  What are our biggest needs in the draft?
A:  3 cornerbacks, and 3 linebackers

Q:  What will we draft?
A:  A Wide Receiver

Q:  Is Brees fading?
A:  Did you see Peyton Manning play Monday night?

Q:  Who do you consider the heart and soul of the Saints?
A:  Lance Moore

Q:  What did you think of the Saints play calling this year?
A:  I think it’s perfectly logical to throw the ball from an empty backfield on second and 2, but run it on second and 9.

Q:  Will Rob Ryan be back?
A:  No.  He will be offered the head coaching job of the New York Jets

Q:  Is it time to start looking for the successor to Brees?
A:  Sure.  If it’s going to take 40 years again. 

Q:  Will you watch the game Sunday?
A:  Of course.  I’m a glutton, not a gambler.

Q:  What do you think would happen if they gave Pierre Thomas the ball 20 times a game?
A:  We’ll never know.

Q:  Do you think Payton and Loomis will blow up the team next year?
A:  Yes

Q:  Aren’t some Saints overpaid?
A:  Yes, but so are Brad Pitt, Taylor Swift, and Elvis Presley.  The playing field is level, and we will find a way to add another high priced free agent like Jarius Byrd, so don't fret.

Q:  Would you like to propose a theme song for this year?
A:  Lieutenant, haven't we already covered that?

Q:  Any final thoughts?
A:  You got bullied into that courtroom

Saints Report #14

Roger Goodell hates the New Orleans Saints, so every year he sends them to the Windy, wet, cold City of Chicago.  What’s up with that?

Fortunately, the good Saints, let’s say the Saints of 2011, showed up and trounced the Bears with a methodical performance on offense and an inspired one on defense, winning 31-15.  Now all we need is a little 6 game winning streak and The Lombardi Trophy will be ours!

How did they win?  Two obvious things.

1)      The Saints out-Pierred them   I’m not a personnel evaluator, but it seemed to me in the exhibition games that Free Safety Pierre Warren was the real deal.  He out-played the other Safeties and showed a nose for the ball.  He got cut, and someone named Marcus Ball was kept.

In desperation, after season ending injuries to Rafael Bush and Jarius Byrd they were lucky enough to get him back.  All he did last night was intercept 2 passes which hasn’t been done by a Saint Safety not now in jail since about 1970, I’m guessing.  Meanwhile the Senior Pierre, Thomas, was running amuck with screen passes and reminding everyone what he can do when healthy.

2)      The Saints out-quarterbacked them.  I hope all the Talk Show/Internet loud mouths who have been complaining about Drew Brees got a look at the game last night for two reasons.  First, how good Brees is.  I don’t see a quarterback in decline, like everyone is yakking about.  I sometimes see a quarterback who a) tries to do too much, and b) has injured or under performing weapons around him, and c) occasionally has a bad game (like every other quarterback who has ever played – did you see Aaron Rodgers this week?) 
Secondly I hope everyone got a good luck at Jay Cutler for contrast, because the Saints history book is loaded with Quarterbacks even worse than him.  AND HE MAKES MORE THAN BREES.

Brees’ salary seems to irk some.  It shouldn’t.  It’s called the entertainment dollar.  It distorts things and we can’t relate.  The $20 million a year neighborhood is where the top quarterbacks play.  Sorry.  If you think he should take less to win and spread the wealth, you’re kidding yourself.  Would you say “don’t pay me $20 an hour, pay me $10 an hour and give it to my coworkers?  Sure.

Sorry, occasionally I have to live up to the name of the column and rant a little.  The most encouraging thing about the game was that the Saints defense looked better, even though it was a sub-par offense they were playing.  New defensive backs were flying around like it was their first NFL game because, well it was.  Kenny Vaccaro’s reduced role held him to only one unnecessary roughness penalty.  I’ve got to give a little credit to Rob Ryan for bringing it together, since he has been torched in the press all year.  His blitzes actually worked and the Saints harassed Cutler all night.

The Saints have a core.  It’s Bress – Colston – Thomas on offense.  They’re getting older.  It’s a fact.  Give ‘em some football Geritol and let’s keep them as long as we can.

Now the biggest game in years, and it would just have to be against THEM.  With a short week to prepare (because Goodell hates us) the despised dirty birds come to the dome and we used to know what was going to happen there.  This year all bets are off.  Who knows which Saints team or Falcons team will show up?  I certainly don’t.  But my entertainment dollar has already been spent, so I’ll be there to find out.

At the Cinema - November 2014

Interstellar – 10
You’ll like this movie if you like time travel, space travel, and mind travel. 

I guess there are only a few things we should really worry about.  This movie is about one of them – the end of the world.  What would happen if the planet was just “give out?”  That’s how this movie begins.  The world has become a dust bowl.  The dust is choking the world and it’s time to find another inhabitable planet.  It’s a disturbing scenario.

Matthew McConaughey to the rescue.  Off he goes through Director Christopher Nolan’s chaotic imagination.  Anne Hathaway is along for the ride and they go searching outer space, though time, black holes, worm holes, and other not-so-easy-to-understand landscapes.

It’s an amazing journey.  To save the world McConaughey must leave his family behind and his daughter is none too happy as she harbors the resentment for the rest of her life.  There certainly are ramifications when you are trying to save the world. 

I’ve often found Christopher Nolan’s work to be exceptional, and he wields his imagination as a weapon in movies like Inception, Memento, and The Dark Knight Trilogy.  This may be his best yet.  But, it’s not always an easy film to understand, and definitely not for everyone.  I strongly recommend you take the ride.

The Theory of Everything – 9

You’ll like this movie if you like biographies and great acting.
This is the low key and rather amazing story of physicist Steven Hawking.  His work serves as much of the basis for the concepts in Interstellar, and his theories about black holes and time are an effective backdrop to his personal story.  Hawking was diagnosed with ALS in the early 60’s and told he would live 2 years.  Amazingly, he is still a productive scientist even though he lost his ability to speak decades ago.

Even more amazing are the performances in this film.  How do you find someone who can portray Hawking?  Well, his name is Eddie Redmayne and his physical transformation into Hawking is incredible.  The script is based on a book by his wife Lisa, who is portrayed wonderfully by Felicity Jones.  This is as much her story as it is Hawking’s. 

If you are feeling sorry for yourself, this film will cure that.

Hunger Games – Mockingjay Part 1 – 7
You’ll like this movie if you liked the first two Hunger Games movies.  Not much has changed.  I thought the second movie was a redo of the first.  This one appears to be a preview of the last, coming soon to a theater near you. 

This must have been what it felt like to watch an old Hollywood serial.  They used to make these, less the production values.  Of course, they didn’t have Jennifer Lawrence, who attacks the role of Katniss, the Mockingjay, with the earnestness of a true heroine.

The action scenes in this movie are actually a cut above what is usually visible in the explosion-laden Hollywood film of 2014.  But, there’s just not enough of them, which is a very difficult thing to come out of my mouth.  Too much soap, not enough war.  There’s just that feeling that the story is being stretched out for a two part extraction of dollar bills from the movie going public.  But if you liked the first two, you’ll like this one.

Scanning the Satellite

Jersey Boys – 8

I finally caught the story of Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons on pay per view.   I had deliberately passed on seeing the movie in theaters until I saw the Broadway play, which I can’t wait to see again.  The play is terrific and is now an industry of its own, with many touring companies and even schools to train those who could play the four Jersey boys.

John Lloyd Young won a Tony for his portrayal of Frankie Valli and he carries this movie with his performance. 

The movie was directed by Clint Eastwood and I approached that with a little trepidation which turns out to be well-founded.  But, when you think of it, what director out there is a musical director?  It’s not as bad as when Sylvester Stallone was picked to direct the Saturday Night Live sequel.

There’s a lot of emphasis on the seedy side of the Jersey Boys, but the music is still good enough to carry the day, especially the rousing finale behind the closing credits.  Both the play and the movie even leave out some great songs.  But one of the songs that concludes the movie, “Who Loves you” makes the list of songs that at one point dominated our fraternity house.

Not that anyone cares, but here’s that pantheon of songs 1972 – 1976:

Funeral for a Friend/Love Lies Bleeding

Can’t Get Next to You

Johnny B. Goode

Hit the Road Jack

Jesus is Just Alright

I’ll Be Around

Who Loves You

Now you know.

Saints Report # 13

I have to close my eyes anymore when I watch you play

And there’s no way like before that I can watch the re-play

You’re trying hard not to blow it (Payton).

But Payton, Payton I know it….

You’ve lost that winnin’ feeling,

Whoa, that winnin’ feeling.

You’ve lost that winnin’ feeling,

Now it’s gone…gone…gone…whooooh

Now there’s no confident look in your eyes

When you get the balll

And now you’re starting to fumble often,

It makes me just feel like crying, (Payton)

“Cause baby, the Superdome is dying.

You’ve lost that tacklin’ feeling

Whoa, that tacklin’ feeling

You’ve lost that tacklin’ feeling,

Now it’s gone…gone…gone…wooooah

Jimmy, Jimmy, I get down on my knees for you

If you would only catch it like you used to do, yeah

We have a qb…a qb….a qb you don’t find everyday,

So don’t…don’t….don’t…don’t let it slip away.

Breezy (breezy),  Curtis (curtis)

I beg of you please…please

I need a bomb (I need a bomb)

I need a sack (I need a sack)

So bring it on back (So bring it on back),

Bring it on back (So bring it on back)

Bring back that winnin’ feeling.

Whoa, that blitzin’ feeling

Bring back that tacklin’ feeling

Cause it’s gone…gone…gone.

And I can’t go on,

Noooo……………..

Bring back that superdome feelin’

Whoa, that football feeling

Bring back that “Who dat” feeling

Before it’s gone….gone….gone.

Saints Report #12

Don’t ask me.

If I knew when the Saints were going to show up and play a football game like that, I’d be living in Vegas and making a living with my knowledge.

But I did figure out how they did it.  Time travel.  That was the 2009 Saints that won that game.  Only possible explanation.

The Saints, (off a short week after Monday Night Football) traveled to Pittsburgh (off a bye week) and bounced the Steelers all over the field en route to a 35 – 32 victory that was only close because the Steelers scored 2 touchdowns late.  If you saw this coming, move to Vegas.

During the Thanksgiving Family Holiday we watched two things that set this up.

One night on Netflix I introduced the family to the classic Star Trek episode “City on the Edge of Forever.”  Captain Kirk and Spock have to travel back in time to undo the damage McCoy has done by changing history.  Written by famed science fiction writer Harlan Ellison, this is generally considered the best original Star Trek episode.

Then, another night we rented “Edge of Tomorrow” about a soldier, played by Tom Cruise, who keeps reliving the same day over and over.  One of the best movies of the year.

Great time travel stuff.

So Sunday, the Saints offense, defense, and special teams all played like they were in a time warp. 

It started with Drew Brees, who played mistake free, this time with the support of a running game.  He threw at all-stars like Ike Taylor and Troy Polamalu with no hesitation and ended the day with another 5 touchdown game.   When I listen to the idiots who think Brees is done, I want to throw them in a time machine and sentence them to a life where the quarterback is always named Bobby Joe.

I knew I was in an alternate universe when the normally-invisible-except-when-he’s-dropping-a-pass  Nick Toon even barreled his way into the end zone for his first career touchdown.  I get the impression that Payton thinks Toon is their next Marques Colston.  I don’t see it, but what do I know.

The secondary played their best game of the year, picking off Roethlisburger twice just when he was looking like an MVP candidate.

The Saints got off to a slow start as Patrick Robinson (3 possible interceptions) Toon and Colston (who would later score) all dropped the ball early.  But, just when you thought it was going to be a long day, the Saints clicked.  Even Kenny Vacarro, who has been a disappointment this year, made as many big plays (including an interception) as he did drawing penalties.  It was as impressive as it was unexpected.

Now comes the test.  Four games to go.  Which team will show up week to week?  Wish I had a hot tub time machine so I would know ahead of time. Don’t look now, but if this starts a little winning streak, the Saints could win the division, play a home playoff game, and scare some teams that have been very good all year.  Remember when the Giants went 9-7 and rolled through the playoffs?  There’s precedent.  It’s not how you start the race, it’s how you finish it.  And a time machine helps.