At the Cinema - November 2008

Movies I’ve seen lately rated on my unique 10 point scale:

Quantum of Solace - 6 – I’ve already forgotten what this was about. It was slightly better than I expected after reading the reviews – but only slightly. So much action, most of it ridiculous of course, that the fact that Daniel Craig is a good, but relentless James Bond is beside the point. Where was that gadget guy? Did he leave with the fun?

Pineapple Express – 1 – For the one time I laughed. In the great tradition of stoner movies such as Cheech and Chong, having never been stoned I didn’t get it. If you’re a stoner I’m sure you’ll find this hilarious, but only if you’re sufficiently stoned. Where can I get my money back?

Role Models – 8 – Hilarious with heart. I went just to kill time, and it killed me. Great comedy – go see it.

Cadillac Records – 8 – This historical accounting of Chess Records is a must for music lovers. Special kudos to Jeffrey Wright who gives a note perfect performance as Muddy Waters. This story of Little Walter, Howling Wolf, Etta James, and Chuck Berry and their music is beautifully done and sung. I’ll probably even buy the DVD.

Changeling - 7 – Angelina Jolie shines as she captures the 30’s all by herself. Clint Eastwood calmly drives us through another accounting of the corrupt Los Angeles police department. It’s riveting stuff, beautifully done. I've said it before, and I'll say it again - no one lights up the screen like Angelina. She is our movie star.

Journey to the Center of the Earth – 6 – Saw it in 3D and while it didn’t come up to one of the personal favorites of my youth, the Pat Boone/James Mason version, it’s fine family fare and fun enough for the money.

Synedoche New York - 7 - Complicated, brilliant and maddening. Not for the faint of concentration, and definitely not for everybody. I'll need to see it again for a final verdict - it's that complex.

Sweet Caroline

It doesn't appear New York's governor is leaning towards appointing Caroline Kennedy to replace Hillary Clinton as New York's junior Senator.
That's a shame - let me come out in support of her and here's why:
She's not a politician. She's being criticized as being unqualified. Terrific! Look at what the qualifed ones have done! She could not be called a commoner by any stretch, but she seems like a normal, caring person. What we need is more normal, regular people in Congress. Ones with common sense. The more unqualified the better.

I remember watching a Congressional hearing once. Must have been home sick that day. I watched all the Congressmen give long winded speeches followed by leading questions of some poor shmuck who was testifying. Then, suddenly, a revelation. Mary Bono (Sonny's widow who had been elected to replace her husband and still serves) gave no long speech and asked a simple and direct question - the kind of question that any American would ask (except the windbags who had been asking questions.) It was an incredible moment and I've never forgotten it. A normal person asking a real question. And it was the question every viewer would have asked. I hope she's still doing it. It actually caught the witness offguard. Beautiful.

So, let's send more regular people to Congress. They may not be able to author complex laws, but I'm thinking we can hire lawyers for that, instead of electing them. All in favor say aye.

So Sorry

Dear Sirs,

Just a few apologies. We are dreadfully sorry.

First, we’re sorry we didn’t know how to travel to Washington. We really had no precedent. When Citigroup needed cash transferred right into their account, twice what we’re asking for, they didn’t even have to make the trip. We were naïve. We were asking for a loan, not a gift. Sorry.

Sorry, we didn’t realize the rules were going to be different for our bailout, about one 20th of what has been promised to financial institutions that made bad loans. Sorry, we didn’t realize all bad judgments weren’t equal.

Sorry, we didn’t cause this horrible economic mess. Now we get how this works – cause the blow up and you get tons of cash because of your poor business practices. Be a victim of the slowdown and you get tongue-lashed by all of America because of your 120 incompetent years in business. I’m sure this same technique will work on the millions of small businesses that are about to go under. Take them to the woodshed for not having a stockpile of cash to get them through this little credit crunch they didn’t cause.

Sorry, we built all those gas-guzzling SUV’s that kept us solvent, that you’re now chastising us for. The American consumer wanted them, but we were foolish. We should have tried to force them into tiny cars they didn’t want, that weren’t profitable. That way we could’ve come begging sooner, and we could have given up even more market share to our competition.

Sorry, we didn’t have a business plan you liked the first time. We rarely plan anything. Because it takes years of research, design, and engineering to build and market an extremely complicated piece of machinery while trying to predict the market conditions that will be present five years later – don't let that fool you. We’ll bring you a plan you like next time.

Sorry, we didn’t volunteer to give up our salaries sooner. We would never be so bold as to suggest that each Congressman do the same when they run the deficit up to say $10 trillion. Give yourself another raise and increase your pension. And please, learn from our mistake – don’t let anyone see how you fly.

Sorry we didn’t grovel more in our first trip.
Sorry we’re worried about all the jobs we provide, not just within the industry, but on the periphery. Sorry that so much sales tax revenue comes from the auto industry. If we shutter, I’m sure local governments will find a replacement for that revenue. I’m sure every GM store that closes will have no trouble placing their employees.

Sorry, we didn’t respect your business acumen more. You’re telling us we’ve been non-competitive for a long time. You’re right – it’s been a struggle. We’re not going to lie. But we’re invigorated with the thought of your oversight. Any entity that can spend $600 billion over 8 years searching for weapons of mass destruction can certainly advise us on what cars people will buy.

Sorry, we’ve honored those union contracts. You’re right - we should’ve filed bankruptcy several times and gotten those contracts broken. If we’re not going to keep the Geneva Convention, why should we worry about silly contracts that have improved working conditions and standards of living for millions of Americans.

Sorry, the public is against the bailout. We know it, and it hurts. We haven’t fulfilled our obligation to our customers and it’s obvious we’re not held in the esteem we once were. Competition came in and took our business. It’s the way capitalism is supposed to work. Sorry, maybe we should just quit and let all those jobs move overseas, or to non-unionized factories. Sorry, we’ve already moved so much of our manufacturing to other countries. It’s not what we wanted, but we kept the obligation to our stockholders to try to stay whole. Sorry, we should’ve kicked our stockholders to the curb in a bankruptcy like so many other big companies have done.

Sorry that there is no longer a "Buy American" sentiment. Remember when Wal Mart built its reputation on selling American made products. As usual, Wal Mart was ahead of the curve, abandoning that silly sentiment. What were we thinking?

Sorry, we have such a terrible business model that everyone is piling on. Why, we’re so stupid we actually provide the financing for dealers to stock our products. Then we provide financing for people to buy our product from the dealers. What other business would do such a stupid thing? Talk about risky loans. Talk about being upside down on your mortgage! You have to wonder how we've made it work this long.
I’m sure our high performing banks will snap up that business when we’re gone.

Sorry, we have so much to learn from you. We can’t wait for your conditions. This should be good.

Saints begin trip to Kiper Bowl

Close but no frozen cigar. This time the Saints actually gave the tough Bears defense all they could handle, taking them into overtime before displaying their suffering safety play. We never touched the ball in the OT.

Actually, it's a conspiracy on the part of the NFL. Hey guys, let's take a home game away from them and put them in London. Then let's make them go to Chicago every year - not too early now - wait til December - and make them play on that ridiculous turf that the Bears apparently resod whenever the Saints are coming to town.

Actually, the Saints had a much better game plan and if not for a couple of long kick returns by the Bears, one for a TD to start the game, probably would have won. The Saints played well enough to take it to OT.

Now we start our march to the Kiper Bowl. On the shopping list - Safeties, corners, more speed on defense. Two games to go. Winning record still possible. Small consolation, but considering the injuries I think they've done all they could do, We lost 3 games we gave away in the kicking game. Wait 'til next year - for the 40th time.

Bad News, Good News on the narrowing path to the Super Bowl

Bad news – Looks like we’ll have to deal with Matt Ryan for a long time.
He’s an NFL quarterback. I remember those yearly visits from Joe Montana and Steve Young. It wasn’t fun being in the division with them back then, and this is not going to be a fun run. It seems like the only incompletion he threw today was the one the Saints needed him to throw. The rest of the afternoon was a clinic, albeit one in how to hit wide open receivers.

Good news – Pierre Thomas had the breakout game that should finally establish him as a go-to option for Coach Payton. In one of those games where it was apparent that the team that had the ball last was going to win, the Saints balanced up their attack, and offensively kept the Falcon off balance – and successfully ran the ball to run out the clock. Guess the coach got my letter. That’s the thing – the Saints weaponry on offense isn’t limited to the passing game. If you couldn’t throw the ball at all, wouldn’t you be satisfied with Thomas, Bush, Deuce, and Karney as your running backs?

So, now we’re off to do one of the things we haven’t done in a long time – win in Chicago.
Coach, let’s match the game plan to the conditions.
Please.

Saints sputter in last trip to Tampa

Dear Coach,

Don’t get us wrong – we really appreciate the fact that you have brought the Saints up to a competitive level. We sat through many a 4 – 12 season wishing we had a coach and a quarterback that could mount a passing attack. It's ironic and rather funny to listen to Bobby Hebert pontificate after games when he and Jim Mora masterminded so many first half wins that turned into coulda shoulda woulda's by playing Rush Limbaugh second halves. No one can accuse you of that. You've got that gas pedal floored going into the curve.

The problem is that it’s not a video game. It’s real football and it’s sometimes played in real weather. I just don’t understand a couple of things. First, you’re from Chicago. So I know you must know what it takes to win in slop. Secondly, you coached with Parcells who certainly believed in smash mouth football and wearing the other team down.

You really believed you could throw the football 50 times in that rain last weekend and win? If ever a game called for Deuce up the middle this was it. Some speculate he’s finished. I don’t know how anyone can tell. When he goes in the game it’s the Stecker effect all over. Everyone knows he’s going to get the football. He can’t be effective for 10 plays a game. Neither can Pierre. Neither can Reggie. I know you’re enamored of all the weapons you have, but maybe you need to land on one.

Speaking of Reggie, it’s time to commit to Pierre. The next hole Reggie hits will be his first. He’s dancing with the stars and he’s going to end up just like the 2 players he reminds me of – Barry Sanders and Gale Sayers. They never won a championship either. Scatbacks don’t win championships. Big backs do – John Riggins, Larry Csonka, Jerome Bettis, need I go on? So think long and hard before you put Deuce out to pasture. The big ones are hard to find and he still moves the pile. I know you’ll still find use for Reggie and he’ll scare the other team as much as he scares me.

So, I’m sure you’ve heard the word “balance” about a million times this week. Ask me who’s going to win any game and I’ll tell you about 80% of the time it’s the team that’s running the ball in the 4th quarter. Maybe that’s why that come from behind stat has gotten so much play. Just remember that you can’t run the ball in the 4th quarter if you haven’t run it in the first 3.

The Giants and Steelers wear people down. They’ve got it. We want it.
Let’s put the controller down and play some football.

Climbing to the Super Bowl

Say this – The Saints are wildly entertaining when they win.

Turning over their roster like pancakes, the Saints have passed their way back into a faint whiff of contention. And when I say passed of course I’m talking about Drew Brees who just continues his shock and awe campaign. I doubt that Drew will win the NFL MVP, but it will be a shame, because he’s got the Saints on his shoulders, wishing on a star.

A couple of other things – I’ll admit I was wrong about Jason David, if you’ll admit I was right about Pierre Thomas. And here’s the blasphemy – the Saints are better with Pierre carrying the ball 15 times a game than with Reggie doing it. Now Reggie’s always a threat, and he should be our punt returner – but he’s as big a threat to lose 7 yards as he is to gain 7. All Pierre does is hit the holes, break tackles, and move the pile. He’s a standard issue running back on his way to maybe not greatness, but awful goodness. Think Brian Westbrook.

While we’re on the subject of free agents, Lance Moore may be on his way to the Pro Bowl. With Marques Colston and Lance Moore and Jeremy Shockey, the potential for this offense is as exciting as their performance Monday night would indicate.

Now, the depleted defense is another story. They played well enough to win by applying a little pressure to a quarterback not named Brett Favre and not playing like him. I don’t even think Jason David’s play was fluke. I actually think he’s improving, but let’s not get too cocky – chasing NFL wide receivers around that rectangle is like me chasing my dog around the backyard. She knows where she’s going, and I can only guess. So, he will get burned again, but maybe will balance the burns with the big plays.

Now, it’s on to Tampa Bay, and the long climb back into contention, best achieved by a 7 game winning streak. Who wins the Super Bowl? The team that gets hot in January. Maybe the Saints are warming up.

So Far Outside the Box

Question: How do we save the American Auto Industry?
Answer: Make Americans buy American Cars

I’ll get to the how later.

And let me acknowledge that I worked for Ford Credit for 20 years so there is full disclosure.

The great thing about having a laptop is that you can work in front of the TV, so I sat there watching the hearings on the proposed GM/Ford/Chrysler bailout. Our esteemed Senators, and the press, have chastised the Big 3 for, among other things: Executive compensation, use of corporate jets, not making cars people want, not having a business plan, etc, etc. These are all smokescreens and have nothing to do with whether or not these companies will survive.

What matters is on the delivery end. The fact that Detroit cars are now mostly comparable to foreign cars is irrelevant to the public. They lost the public’s trust and their products, no matter how many ads they run during American Idol, are not perceived as 1) reliable or 2) cool. The Big 3 could do all the things the Senators want them to do, and it still wouldn’t matter. The only thing that will help the Big 3 is if they sell more cars, and there is no evidence that grounding a corporate jet or presenting a flowery plan to Congress will do that.

The American consumer, and only the American consumer will decide whether or not these companies survive.

The typical Joe the plumber isn’t going to understand executive compensation but here’s the way I look at it: It’s an investment in talent, just like Derek Jeter is. If you owned a huge company that just made a million dollar profit in one year, and there was a potential CEO out there who could increase that profit from a million to a billion, would you pay that guy $25 million? Of course you would. And by the way, if you have to lure the high priced talent by promising him the use of a corporate jet, you do that too. It’s all relative. Exxon made how many billions last quarter? What would you pay that CEO? The problem shouldn’t really be with the public, it should be with the worker – who used to see the leader of his company make 25 times what he makes, but that now has risen to 500 times what the lowest paid worker makes. Now he/she should be pissed!

The dilemma is in the failing. The CEO's still get paid when they fail (see wall street) and that really bugs us, just like when our high priced free agent suddenly gains weight and can’t find the end zone.

So, how do we hold on to the Big 3? The bailout is just corporations doing what people do when there’s a handout – stand in line. If there’s money being given out, we’re “all in” – it’s who we are.

So, no bailout. My plan would be much more effective (and probably way more costly to our government.) Give the American Public an incentive to try American Cars one more time. Remember the typical Gen X er doesn’t even have these cars on their radar – they’re on their fourth Toyota.

So, here it is: I propose the American Investment Act of 2009. Starting on January 1, anyone who leases an American car will be entitled to deduct their lease payment 100%.
The act will go 5 years. The Big 3 must set accurate residual values – no unfair competition – your cars aren’t good lease deals for a reason and you can’t artificially pump them up and take a loss later.
This would mean that anyone who wants to take advantage of the lease savings would probably lease 2 cars during the term of the act – and would either fall in love with the product or not. If the cars are what you say they are, you would have recaptured America. If not, pull the plug and turn out the lights. After 2 cycles, you will have had every chance to hold on to the customer. If you fail, you will go out of business and no one will say you didn’t get a shot.

The argument against this is that it’s not free market. I’ll concede that, but other nations take nationalistic action all the time. I actually think it would help foreign manufacturers as well by goosing the economy. In fact, if you want to take it further, provide a sales tax break on all “made in America” products. The recession would be over by March.

At the same time, we have to keep perspective. This week I took 3 hours to read Newsweek’s election edition cover to cover. It was a fascinating recap of the campaign. I highly recommend it. But the thing that blew me away was a statistic that I’m going to link to my previous “lucky sperm club” comment.

Here are the top 3 world populations:
1 China 1,347,563,498
2 India 1,184,090,490
3 United States 309,162,581

According to Newsweek in India there are 400 million people (that’s 100 million more than our entire population) that don’t have electricity.
400 million!
I’m flabbergasted.
So, let’s keep perspective and be thankful that we’re going to microwave a pizza tonight.
It will be terrible, but there are 400 million people in one country that wouldn’t know a microwave from a TV and would be thrilled to stick a frozen pizza in either – if they could freeze anything.

They should be so lucky as to have to choose between an Audi and a Buick.

Bailing out on that Super Bowl Trip

The US government is considering bailing out Detroit.

No, Not the Lions.
Because if they were going to bail out a football team, who rivals the 40 years of mediocrity established by our New Orleans Saints?
Consider that FEMA repair of the Superdome just a down payment.
Bail us out of our misery. Buy out our season tickets. Their value is dropping faster than the housing market.

Sean Payton may be an aerial genius. He’s constructed a wonderful passing attack with an outstanding quarterback and a bevy of excellent receivers. But Mike Martz can’t get a head coaching job because aerial circuses don’t translate to wins. Maybe our coach will learn to construct a defense and a balanced offensive attack at some point, but it’s not looking good.

Watching the Saints disintegrate into an injury-riddled, bickering group has not been pleasant. And, don’t try to tell me they’re not good on the road. Where they’re playing has little to do with their inadequacies.

So, it’s off to Kansas City, Kansas City here we come. Having a tough year Herm? We’re sending a little care package your way. Wasn’t it just last year that Kansas City had that great draft that was going to turn their franchise around? Well, just ask Cleveland. Just ask New Orleans. One draft doesn’t get you drunk and it doesn’t make your team. It takes several good drafts in a row to turn a team around. The clinker we had between Bush and Ellis/Porter is killing us. Not knocking Robert Meachum, but he wasn't what we needed. Was there a starting safety somewhere in that draft? Let’s hope we aren’t in our wishful Mel Kiper mode too soon.

It’s going to take an incredible win streak to salvage this season. If Drew Brees breaks Dan Marino’s record it will be because of too many 400 yard losing efforts. If he doesn’t, there’s hope. I guess we can draw inspiration from the fact that stranger things have happened.

Like trillion dollar bailouts.

An Election Commentary

What just happened?
As I watched the riveting election coverage Tuesday night I was fascinated with the joy displayed by the enthusiastic crowds not only here but world-wide. That an everchanging America had turned to a bi-racial man, born in Hawaii, educated in Indonesia, raised by a single parent, with family spread all over the world to lead a nation in economic crisis while fighting two wars was of such significance that even the most cynical had to marvel at the moment. After an endless endurance-contest of a campaign, an impressed nation turned to Barack Obama to pull us out of the quicksand.
How could we get to this incredible historical marker?

I’m reminded of the mid 90’s when I experienced a diversity initiative at Ford. Ford made a conscious effort to promote and call in a wide range of ethnic and cultural backgrounds not because it was the right thing to do, but because it was good for business.

I often say that there’s a group of people that won the sperm lottery – they were born white in America, thus endowed with a huge head start on the billions who aren’t. That means Little League rather than picking fruit. It means fishing as a hobby rather than a necessity. It means hearing about kids starving in Africa instead of actually starving in Africa. It means an incredibly gifted existence of easy weekends, soccer practices, family picnics, beach trips, second homes, country clubs, season tickets, HBO, and being treated to an almost daily introduction of some new technology. It means running on a treadmill rather than some Kenyan dirt road. It means wondering about who to vote for on American Idol tonight instead of wondering if the village will be raided tonight. It means watching Dancing with the Stars, instead of sleeping under the stars. For many our life’s work is learning and preserving a family business. I usually rant from my couch, with my big-screen, high def TV in front of me. It’s the fourth couch of my adult life. I’m so lucky. Many people in this world will never own a couch, much less get to see Jessica Alba in High Definition. I didn’t invent capitalism or democracy, but I sure was born into a great club. Keeping perspective should be a higher priority. Our club works hard, but we work to prosper, not to survive.

So, back to what just happened.
First it must be said that George W. Bush happened. His approval ratings sank at home as his policies made the world see the United States as an aggressor rather than a peacemaker. The great empathy that 9/11 had generated worldwide turned to anger as we invaded a country looking for something we never found. To make matters worse, we declared “mission accomplished” and then muddled around for 7 more years trying to accomplish it, with the 9/11 perpetuator still at large. We topped this off by borrowing all the money to fight the war, and as the debt mounted to unprecedented levels, the economic foundation began to shake and shudder. The once robust American economy began to nosedive, dragging the rest of the world behind. Suddenly, instead of needing a skilled warrior, it began to look like we needed a skilled peacemaker.

So Bush beat McCain for the second time. Beat him in the primaries in 2000 with his Rove bag of dirty tricks (in retrospect wouldn’t we have been better off with McCain then) and then beat him again this year by leaving the pool table with no good shot.

The campaign predictably morphed into the longest blame game this side of Bill Buckner.
The Democrat was accused of being Unqualified, Un-American, Anti-American, anti-war, anti-Semitic, tax-raising, not-lapel-pin-wearing, Muslim, wealth-spreading, terrorist-associating, communist, fascist, socialist.

The Republican was accused of being a too-old, impulsive, combative, nasty, hawkish, self serving, pandering, dubious judgment, shadow of his former Maverick self, flip-flopping, out of touch military man who had stood up to Bush years ago, but stooped to mimeographing the Bush policy playbook this time.

As Cyberbull flowed it was so impressive that a steady Obama refused to get swift-boated like John Kerry, or chadded like Al Gore and went on the offensive just enough to dispel the lies without unleashing similar attacks on McCain. Never once did Obama mention McCain’s Keating Five scandal which couldn’t have been more relevant with the Wall Street crisis. America picked the man who had run the better campaign as the man who would do better at pulling together the almost impossible-to-run U.S. Government. He never wavered from his message of hope and change. The hardest thing to fathom is why anybody would want the job, especially now.

Meanwhile, a bailout package and stimulus packages didn’t seem to improve the economy, suggesting that a world-wide economy was a little more complicated than trickle down economics. Trickle down hasn’t trickled in a long time. The “cut taxes” message which has always so impressed the electorate rang hollow, as if we finally realized that cutting taxes is not a perpetual activity. The money for roads, bridges, schools, and wars has to come from somewhere. We don’t like taxes, but I guess we like dirt roads less, not to mention un-cared for veterans who’ve been deployed over and over.

It was amazing to me that Obama actually proposes rebuilding the infrastructure, including the power grid, and making energy reinvention a center piece of a new economy, creating jobs and a return to prosperity. This is impressive, visionary stuff. I’ll be even more amazed if he pulls it off. If our economy gets moving again maybe we’ll do as good a job rebuilding New Orleans as we will at rebuilding Bagdad (and Iraq has money – Louisiana doesn’t. I guess war entitles a country to the ultimate corporate welfare.)

Meanwhile the business world is scared to death of Universal Healthcare, when it is the union-demanded health care costs that, built into our products, has made us uncompetitive and is just another thing that cost us jobs. A dilution of Health Care costs may just work. Some call it socialism. But most of us wonder if we can’t take care of our sick how good a nation are we?

My sincere hope is that the new President can rally the troops – the ones who sit in chairs in the Capital. He needs to build a consensus and attack problems with a united front. The democrats gave Bush everything he wanted over the last 8 years lest they be seen as unpatriotic and unsupportive of the troops. That Bush’s ill-conceived or poorly executed policies imploded just set the table for the Democrats. It seems that 8-year Presidents can’t avoid going out on the downslide.

Don’t expect the Republicans to be as accommodating. They still have a very clear ideological base - their numbers and support are just shrinking. Or, more accurately it could be said that the Democrats are out-recruiting and out-registering them. Don’t be fooled. Remember Ken Starr? This is a new day, with new weapons. Every square inch of media, turf, and air space is an ideological battle ground. People still fall for Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity’s angry dribble that assumes or wishes for a frozen culture. The windbags of America always have the answer – even when there is no answer.

The President-elect may well be overwhelmed by the sheer scope of the presidency of this incredibly complicated and ever-changing country. The question may well be not “why would anyone want this job,” but “who could possibly do this job?”

With decimated markets and failed policies in abundance, where does he start the rebuilding process? Is there any low-hanging fruit that he can pick right away? The lucky sperm club that is the most worried, actually has the least to worry about. Relax, sit back, and watch your 401K. We’ve never understood the underclass that just overran the election. They wanted change, they needed change, and they got change. Will it help them? In 4 years we’ll be better off – will they?

I hope we all will. In one night we recaptured the world’s imagination as the most amazing country that’s ever been. We chose Diversity. Not just because it was the right thing to do, but because it was good for business.