Prediction: For the next several years we will discuss the merits and ethics of torture until we’re all sick of it. It will be animated, lively, and disgusting.
I submit to you that is one more proof of the Bush administration’s disconnect with the typical American that they had to even resort to waterboarding.
Had they not watched American television? They had plenty to work with.
I suggest when you want to make prisoners scream with agony you set a TV in front of them and subject them to the following viewing sequence:
1. Start them off with several “E! True Hollywood Story” episodes, so they can remember why they hate us.
2. Follow up with several hours of “The View.” If watching Elizabeth Hasselback and Joy Behar screech at each other doesn’t get them screaming in agony, we can move on to
3. Regis Philbin, who apparently will never go away. Then,
4. The current Progressive Insurance commercials. This will make them want to claw out their eyeballs with a ball point pen.
5. Bill O’Reilly and Keith Olberman. Make them watch what unfortunately people now think of as journalism.
6. Then, an hour of Jimmy Fallon, who appears to be in as much pain as his audience.
7. Lastly, we can neuter them by making them watch The Flavor of Love, when they will realize that our civilization has reached its bottom and is no longer a threat.
Put these shows on a loop and I’m betting it will reduce our enemies to wimpering, simpering confessors. Now that's Torture! We could even send them home with parting gifts, like a free subscription to satellite TV.
Another dilemma solved. You're welcome.
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