Saints Report # 4 - October 4, 2015

Suddenly, Drew Brees.

With the Saints in danger of a premature burial of their season, Drew Brees led the Saints on two picture perfect drives at game’s end to dispose of the visiting Dallas Cowboys 26 – 20 in overtime.  His 80 yard touchdown pass to CJ Spiller was the game winner just 15 second into overtime.  His previous drive ended in a doinked field goal attempt by new kicker Zach Hocker that would have won the game with 15 seconds in regulation.  No matter.  It didn’t phase Brees and the Saints, whom I guess have seen it all.

It was the fastest overtime victory in a regular season NFL game, and it moved the Saints to 1-3.  

The game winner was Brees’ 400^th Touchdown Pass, making him one of only 5 quarterbacks to achieve that number.  With a sore arm, a porous line and little running game support, Brees threw for 359 yards and, particularly as the game wore on, he put a scapel to the Cowboy’s defense.  It was a gutty performance, and it enhanced the BP era’s stellar record in nationally televised night games.

Now a word about the negatives.  The kicker.  I knew we had kicking problems the first time we lined up for an extra point.  Rather than kicking the ball from the middle, down the middle, our kicker wants to try the new longer extra point from the hashmark.  Who would do that?  So, with the game winner to hit from the 30, from the same hashmark – doink off an upright.   This week will be spent with Payton looking at kickers.

So, as for the rest of the team, don’t look now, but the defense is coming along.  Injured players like Jairus Byrd, Keenan Lewis, and Dannell Ellerbe have returned.  Rookies Hau’oli Kikaha, Stephone Anthony, Bobby Richardson, Tyeler Davison, Damian Swann, and Delvin Breaux all are contributing and look like solid NFL players.  Against an admittedly beat up Cowboy offense, the defense held its own and for the first time put a little pressure on the opposing Quarterback.  Don’t get overly excited – the reality is that if Tony Romo had been on the field, the outcome would have been different.  But, it’s a victory, and the Saints will take it. 

As for the growing pains, they’ll take them too.  As any Cowboy fan will tell you, it's a war of attrition in the NFL, and the Saints look healthier for the next quarter of the season. 

At The Cinema - September 2015

Inside Out – 10

I gave in.  For the first time since I was a kid I went to an animated movie.  Why this one?  Because this one is getting such universal acclaim (48 out of 48 positive critical reviews on metacritic) it may even be in the Oscar Best Picture race.  I thought I better check it out.

This is the story of Riley, a happy young school girl who has been uprooted from her Minnesota home to San Francisco when her parents relocate the family.   The swirl of emotions that comes with a new school and new surroundings is portrayed in the form of inner characters like Joy (Amy Poehler), Anger (Lewis Black), and Disgust (Mindy Kaling) who live in her emotion headquarters. 

Animated and voiced to perfection, you get more involved then if the characters were flesh and blood.  Directors Pete Docter and Ronald Del Carmen pull all of this off in exactly 94 minutes of rich, beautiful story telling that I hope Judd Apatow has watched.  Brevity and humor can go hand in hand, and when it works like this, it doesn’t even test your bladder.  Obviously destined to be another Pixar classic, adult, child or curmudgeon – if you don’t enjoy this movie you have problems I can’t help you with, (although I can see it being a little harsh for a very young child.)  My primary thought on leaving the theater was that I wish I had their imagination.  

Brilliant – and it made me wonder what’s going on in my own brain.    

The Visit – 8
M. Night Shyamalan’s classic was The Sixth Sense almost 20 years ago.  I’ve often contended it ruined movies, in that the ending was such a great shock that for the next 20 years movie makers have been trying to top it, match it, or copy it.  They are rarely up to the task.  Shyamalan himself has fallen short of it, and seems to get further and further from the rarified air of that first movie, to the point of being the butt of jokes.

Until now.  Finally he has gotten close, with The Visit.  No, it’s not a classic, but it is compelling story telling, with chills and jumps and a nice twist at the end.  I don’t want to give too much away.  A mother (Kathryn Hahn) has been estranged from her parents since the day she left as a pregnant teenager to run off with her boyfriend.  They married and divorced, and mom has finally agreed to let their 2 kids visit her parents for the first time, although she wants no part of the visit.  She goes off on a cruise. 

It’s often just the generation gap that makes our grandparents seem a little crazy.  Here it may be just a little more.  They occupy one of those old farmhouses and exhibit a tinge of crazy, especially when the kids are sent off to their room at 9:30 each night and the lights go out.  Do you hear strange noises at night?

Becca (Olivia Dejonge) is 18 and an aspiring film maker, and her brother Tyler (Ed Oxenbould) wants to be a rapper, and naturally they are going to film their week-long encounter, assuming they survive.  It’s a Blair Witch kind of gimmick and it serves the story well.  You’ll jump, you’ll scream, and you may even rejoice that Shyamalan is on his way back. 

The Intern – 8
Robert DeNiro is the gentle-bull title character, 70 year old widower Ben Whitaker, who eschews the boredom of retirement to return to work as “senior” intern for Jules’ (Anne Hathaway} upstart dotcom.  That’s the gimmick and it’s a good one, as her exploding firm and her hectic personal life could use the steadying hand of a little maturity.  Ben is just the man.

Director Nancy Meyer’s films are usually a little antiseptic and white bread, but that’s ok because she usually picks a great cast.  This movie is no exception. Other than one breakneck break-in scene which I thought was really out of place, it seems she captures the challenging pace of the dotcom life.  Your web site could be a hit today, and gone tomorrow.  Better make hay while your internet shines.

De Niro actually plays a real character for the first time in years, instead of a variation of himself.  Anne Hathaway is like a supernova.  The camera drills in on her face and her body language, and she nails every aspect of the character.  When your face is 10 feet tall on a movie screen there’s no place to hide, and the way she carries the movie reminded me of Annette Bening’s brilliance in The American President.  Anne will win no awards for this performance - it's not that kind of role.  But it doesn’t make it any less convincing.  It will be underappreciated, and that’s a shame.  I don’t get the Hathahaters, if they really exist.  She’s an American treasure and while I’m still waiting for her to portray Judy Garland, a movie a year like this will do until then. 

What I really liked about the movie was there were really no villains – just a lot of good people trying to adapt to change.  This is a perfectly pleasant 2 hour diversion.  

Saints Report # 3 - September 27, 2015

The NFL season is 3 games in, and before any more quarterbacks get hurt, I move we proceed immediately to the Super Bowl with New England and Arizona.  It would be entertaining, and would feature the two teams that are playing really good football.

Meanwhile, the New Orleans Saints continued what looks like is going to be another lost season, falling to 0-3 with a 27-22 loss to the Carolina Panthers.   The Saints were in position to win on the final drive, but that position evaporated with 4 dropped passes and one of several poor coaching decisions which ended up as an end zone interception.

Luke McCown, filling in during Drew Brees’ first game missed due to injury since high school, operated the short passing game very crisply as the Saints, despite the usual lack of running game, moved the ball fairly well all day.  Then, with a chance to win and possession of the ball with 3 minutes left, Willie Snead missed a pass, followed by Marques Colston dropping three.  Inexplicably Sean Payton decided to go for a touchdown prematurely and McCown threw his only bad pass of the day, a lob to 5’10” Brandin Cooks resulting in an end zone interception.  There was 1:15 left on the clock and Carolina had no timeouts.  It’s 3^rd and 4 from the 24, we’re moving the ball, we’re chewing the clock on a potential game winning drive – yep a perfect time for a pass into the end zone.  That was Payton’s second bad coaching decision of the day.   With two timeouts remaining, it was an ideal time to take 2 shots at a first down and continue the march.  Payton’s impatience was front and center. 

The Saints jumped off to a 10-0 lead in the first half, but when the Carolina pulled within 3, Payton made his first poor coaching decision.  Knowing that the Panthers would be getting the 2^nd half kickoff, the Saints had driven to their own 39 with 6 minutes left in the half.  They were victimized by a very poor spot by the referees, and facing 4^th and one, the Saints punted when they should have gone for it.  Had they been successful, and driven for a touchdown they would have gone ahead 17 – 7.  Instead they punted, and Carolina drove the ball to a tying field goal to go in to the half 10-10.  Punting is the enemy when you have a sub-par team.

In the second half rookie Marcus Murphy bailed this decision out with a 74 yard punt return for a touchdown leading to the question, why isn’t he part of the offense more?  He could be spelling “hit the wrong hole” Mark Ingram, and add a little quickness to an offense that can’t run the ball.   Does anyone else get the feeling that the personnel “packages” are tired and predictable?

Meanwhile the Saints fans still moan about players that aren’t here, especially Jimmy Graham and Darren Sproles.  Such is life in the salary cap NFL.

Patriot fans miss Vince Wolfork (although not much).  The Patriots have never hesitated to cut loose a player a year early.

Eagle fans are complaining that DeSean Jackson, Jeremy Maclin, LeSean McCoy, and Nick Foles are gone.

Ravens fans complain that Torrey Smith is gone.

Denver fans complain that Julius Thomas is gone.

Dallas fans complain that DeMarco Murray is gone.

Carolina fans complain that Steve Smith is gone.

And so it goes.

There are actually positive signs for the Saints.  Swann and Breaux look promising at defensive back.  Anthony looks promising at Linebacker.  The National Media is calling for the Saints to be blown up.  Got news for them.  It’s already happening.

 . 

However, it’s important to note there are some things the Saints can’t do:

They can’t run the ball.  This is the biggest deficiency They can’t pressure the opposing Quarterback.

 They can’t keep the opposing Quarterback contained in the pocket. 

 They can’t blitz

 They can’t cover speedy receivers.  At least Brandon Browner can’t, and it’s a coaching problem that  he’s been matched up with them.  The thinking was he would be covering the Vincent Jacksons, not  the Ted Ginns

 They can't avoid penaltie
 They can’t win the turnover battle.  They can giveth, but they can’t taketh awayeth. 

 They can't avoid penalties 
 They can’t catch the ball.  The receiving corps has been underwhelming to say the least.

 They can’t convert 2 point conversions and they’re not automatic on 1 pointers, as they missed one of each.  They’re still running the Lance Moore 2 point conversion play from the Super Bowl and it hasn’t worked since the Super Bowl.

   

So, where do we go from here?  If the Saints can turn the corner on injuries, like getting Jairus Byrd on the field, or Keenan Lewis, and continue to improve on defense, about mid-year they may turn the corner.

However, Rob Ryan has to find a way to pressure the Quarterback into some mistakes, and I frankly don’t know how he’s going to do it.  The defensive line is young and clueless.  Someone wrote that Sunday the Saints had $78 million in contract money not on the field. 

That’s not a quick fix, it’s a mortgage that needs a long term loan.  

Saints Report # 2 - September 20, 2015

The New Orleans Saints are streaking.  Backwards.  They haven’t won this year.  They stumbled and bumbled and fumbled their way to a 26-19 loss to the lowly Tampa Bay Buccaneers Sunday.  That’s their 6^th straight home loss, after 20 straight home wins.  Drew Brees has always talked about his tennis days as a foundation for his footwork.  Well suddenly the Saints can’t hold their serve.  They took on a team that they had beaten 7 times in a row.  That streak is over. 

We know this.  The Saints have a proud tradition of making stars of new quarterbacks and Sunday they worked their magic on rookie Jameis Winston, who put on a horrible display last week.  I truly believe the Saints lost this game the day the Bucs picked up Ryan Griffin off waivers from the Saints.  For most of the game the mediocre Buc defense seemed to have the Saints play calls sniffed out.  I’m thinking the Bucs gave Griffin a game ball for his garbage dump of information.  In addition the Bucs were an embarrassed team after week one.  Danger, you could see this coming from a mile away. 

Meanwhile, I think there are 5 things critical to winning football:

1    1) Protect your Quarterback.  The Saints can't do it.  Brees was under constant duress, and there’s one thing we know about Brees at this point – He needs a good foundation to throw from, and he was dancing with the stars all day.  He also got hurt early and it affected him to some extent.  He was under duress, and off target most of the day. 

2.  2)  Pressure the other team’s Quarterback.  Can't do it.  Despite 2 sacks, they really provided little pressure and Jameis Winston sat back in the pocket and got a good look, a really good look, and knew what to do with what he saw.

     3)  Stop the Run.  Can’t do it.  Where’s the beef?  It’s there, it’s just frozen.  That big girthed defensive line got chewed up all day.  

     4) Run the Ball.  Can’t do it.  There’s a couple of reasons for this.  First, the line is not opening holes.  Secondly, it’s time to accept the fact that Mark Ingram is not an NFL running back.  Not only is he averaging a whopping 3.1 yards a carry, he threw in a critical fumble that killed the Saints in the 4^th quarter.  Meanwhile Khiry Robinson who is averaging 5.2 YPC ignited the team on several occasions with some dynamic running that got the Saints rolling in the second half, only to be replaced by Mark Mediocrity. 

5   5)  Win the turnover battle.  Besides a muffed punt, the Saints threw in the two fumbles to match the Buc’s number as the Bucs were trying to desperately fumble the game back to the Saints.

There are other problems.  The Saints receiving corps was not getting open, and this may be due to The Ryan Griffin effect, or it may be that none of them should be in the NFL.  Colston still knows how to get open, but when Brandin Cooks, who looks like a great slot receiver, is your ace, you’re in trouble.  As the rarely coherent Bobby Hebert pointed out on his radio show, can you name another team on which Cooks would be the number one option?  What if the Saints had drafted one of the 4 wide receivers who came after Andrus Peat in the first round, instead of Peat?

I can’t help but look at the last two drafts, and think what might have been.  Neither Peat nor Grayson are going to help anytime soon, although it’s possible that Zach Strief, who gave up 3 sacks and played his worst game ever, may be replaced by Peat soon. 

Throw in a questionable decision by Payton to go for 2, a blocked extra point, a missed field goal, and missed tackles in the hundreds, an interception, and this is a team this is more out of sorts than Hillary Clinton.  There are a lot of new bodies on the field and it’s more jammed than jelled at this point.  It was a miracle the Saints could have tied on the last play of the game.  But, it was a miracle that the Saints didn’t deserve and so they are now 0-2 and travelling to 2-0 Carolina next weekend.  That doesn’t bode well.

Saints Report # 1 - September 13, 2015

The New Orleans Saints opened the NFL season by taking their 25 new faces on a field trip to the desert, so that they could learn one of the Saints traditions – bad trips west.

The Saints lost to the speedy Arizona Cardinals 31-19.  They showed a little promise and a lot of vulnerability.

Offensive Summary

The Good News – Drew Brees was fairly sharp, going 30 – 48 for 355 yards with one interception on a ball that Marques Colston popped up into the air. 

The Bad News – throwing 48 passes in a game is not a recipe for success, especially on the road, and much of the yardage came on a few long runs after catch. Otherwise it was dink and more dink.

The Good News – The offense produced some big plays.   Ingram had a long run with a flair pass that he should have taken all the way, and Willie Snead’s only catch went for over 60 yards.  Most of the passes were dump offs with the hope they would be converted to something more.   Running Backs accounted for 14 completions. 

The Bad News – The offense never found a real rhythm and the new receiving corps is not going to make anyone forget the Super Bowl run just yet.  The Saints throw an awful lot of screen passes, and it appears the league has noticed. 

The Good News – Payton tried to call running plays

The Bad News – Mark Ingram is still the featured back, and his next juke will be his first.  Khiry Robinson showed some fight, but overall the running game was terrible.  As usual.  The running plays just appear to be slow to develop.  The Saints were outrushed 120 – 54 and averaged 2.7 yards per carry, which is a slow train to nowhere, which is apparently where Pierre Thomas is lounging, thinking about his career average of 4.5 YPC.

The Good News – the Saints got into the red zone 5 times.

The Bad News – they settled for field goals 4 of those times.  Yes, Jimmy Graham would have helped, but it doesn’t appear that Brees has any confidence in throwing into the end zone with this group yet, so if you like swing passes (that get stuffed) this is the team for you. 

The Good News – the offensive line protected Brees pretty well.

The Bad News – the offensive line didn’t open any holes for the runners

Defensive Summary

The Good News – the many youngsters on defense played fairly well, showing speed and pursuit

The Bad News – they got torched on a few plays

The Good News – the defensive backs made some good breakups. 

The Bad News – they made it rain yellow flags too

The Good News – the defensive line showed signs of a pass rush.  They put a little pressure on Carson Palmer

The Bad News – they did not control the Cardinals’ running game.

Couching Summary

The Good News – The offense accounted for over 400 yards. 

The Bad News – And I really hate to say this but Payton’s offense is getting stale and predictable.  He relies on run after catch, instead of throwing the ball over the down marker or into the end zone.  Is he feeling burned by last year’s interceptions?  Has he lost his nerve?  Has the NFL caught on to the route tree?  And the really bad news is that with only 4 wide receivers on the roster, there are a couple of problems.  Brandon Coleman may eventually be the red zone threat to replace Jimmy Graham, but there’s no confidence there.  Brandin Cooks is obviously our only threat, and defenses are going to double team him all year.  Willie Snead looks good, but contributed a drop.  And the worst news is that Marques Colston does not look good.  He didn’t play much in preseason, and either is not being counted on, doesn’t appear ready for the season, or has lost another step which he could ill afford.

Let me sum up by saying that this is a very young team with a lot of talent but lack of discipline.  There are new bodies everywhere, and you can’t teach experience, you have to get it.  There were several times during this game when the Saints could have gone for it on 4^th down, but instead played it safe.  Kicking the ball away when you are behind and there's less than 2 minutes on the clock, as they did, is a gamble that only a dominant defensive team takes.  The Saints definitely aren't that.  For the Saints to win while gaining experience, they are going to have to turn up the gambling quotient.  They’re going to need to go for it on 4^th down, onside kick now and then, and just go for broke a few times.  Reliance on the screen pass, which Brees throws as well as anyone, is not going to advance the cause.

Also, not to be forgotten is that the Cardinals are a playoff caliber team that would have been top seed in the NFC had they not lost Carson Palmer to injury last year.  A much better measuring stick is next Sunday, when a rebuilding Buccaneer team comes to the dome.  The game is critical, as an 0-2 start to the season would be a disaster to rival the Presidential campaign.

The tide will turn, or a tsunami will ensue. 

NFL Preview

February 7, 2016 Super Bowl 50

The St Louis Rams, in their last official game with that title, celebrated their upcoming return to Los Angeles after a 20 year banishment, by smothering their Super Bowl opponent Indianapolis Colts, (who are no threat to return to Baltimore) by a 20 – 17 score.  The Rams, who set an NFL record for sacks in a season, with 96, slammed NFL MVP Andrew Luck to the ground a record 8 times, invoking Super Bowl defensive domination memories of past Ravens’ (still in Baltimore) and Buccaneers’ (still in Tampa) victories.  A furious Luck rally of two fourth quarter touchdowns fell short when he fumbled on a late Nick Fairley sack.

The two league championship game upsets – Rams over Seahawks, and Colts over Bills, were predictors of the outcome, as all 3 games ended in the same 20-17 score.

In the latest off-season embarrassment for the league, a Super Bowl winning parade will actually be held in both St. Louis and Los Angeles.  The LA event will recycle Rose Bowl floats as well as 2016 Grand Marshall Keanu Reeves, and many would say it is a perfect embodiment of California culture to celebrate a fantasy.

So, now you know how the season will turn out.  Don’t you wish you could still place a bet?

None of this could top last year's Super Bowl, probably the most exciting ever, featuring “the call.”  In the game, Seattle was victimized by an incredible interception by New England cornerback Malcolm Butler.  While many blamed Pete Carroll for not just handing the ball to his beast running back, in actuality this was simply Karma doing some payback work.  Seattle was there by virtue of its incredible comeback victory over Green Bay in the NFC championship game, which broke the hearts of cheeseheads everywhere.  New England seemed on the verge of a 3^rd crushing Super Bowl upset featuring improbable receptions.  Instead, all football related Karma accounts have been squared except one.

Roger Goodell.

Saints prediction - the Saints will go 10-6. How did I build that prediction?  Start with a 1-1 split with the 3 division opponents, so that makes us 3-3.  The other 7 wins will be against Arizona, Philadelphia, Tennessee, Washington, Houston, Detroit, and Jacksonville, while the 3 additional losses will be Dallas, Indianapolis, and the New York Giants.  The Saints will win the division but get pounded in the first round by eventual champion Rams.

I know, it almost makes you not want to watch the season now that you know what’s going to happen.

I thought it would be fun to go back and look at my past prediction record.  It wasn’t. 

But, I’m man enough to own up to it, especially given that my den has been a recovery room after my knee surgery, so I’ve got nothing but time on my hand:

Season	Prediction			Actual
	Winner	Loser	Score	Winner	Loser	Score
2015	Rams	Colts	20 - 17
2014	Saints	Patriots	48-45	Patriots	Seahawks	28-24
2013	49ers	Broncos	17-16	Seahawks	Broncos	43-8
2012	Lions	Texans	28-24	Ravens	49'ers	34-31
2011	Saints	Texans	38-21	Giants	Patriots	21-17
2010	Saints	Texans	34-31	Packers	Steelers	31-25
2009	Saints	Chargers	42-38	Saints	Colts	31-17
2008	Saints	Patriots		Steelers	Cardinals	27-23

This takes me back to the beginning of the BP (Brees/Payton) era when I got out of the restaurant business to become a full time gambler on football, working out about equally well.  And you can see why, as I’ve only picked 3 of 14 Super Bowl participants during that time, although my pre-season prediction of the Saints to go all the way in 2009 made me famous, until everyone sees this chart which puts that prediction in the blind squirrel category.  History tells you that picking the New York Yankees to go all the way every year could be a reasonable bet.  Picking the Saints every year is just delusional.  Who would do dat?

Anyway, here’s my in-depth breakdown of the 2015 Saints, as formulated in several hypothesis both negative and positive.

Hypothesis #1 – It’s all about #9.  Drew has hinted now that he wasn’t healthy last year, thus the occasional “diminished arm strength” chorus, which I didn’t subscribe to.  But here’s why Franchise QB’s are so essential, and that when you look at the list of Super Bowl teams above, only Russell Wilson was not considered “elite” when he first appeared.   My definition of elite?  Forget all the stats.  At least half of all games will be undecided with 5 minutes left.  Mr. Elite is going to win you 5 to 7 in that final drive.  Last year Drew made mistakes in those situations several times, but he’s been very reliable since he arrived in New Orleans.  Expect a big year from Brees, and that alone improves the record over last year.

Hypothesis #2 – The Pre-season and Training Camp are of limited value when conducted the way the Saints do it.  In getting down to the 53 man limit and Practice Squad of 10, the Saints looked at about 100 players during the 6 week period, only to reject better than half of them and sign numerous rejects from other teams.  Watching the waiver wire is one thing.  Counting on it is another.  As of this moment 4 of 60, about 7% of the team, hadn’t seen a playbook until September.  It appears that about 19 players will be on the roster or practice squad that weren’t there last year – 30% of the personnel.  That is an indictment of the past, while also a commitment to change.  The question is, how fast can they mind meld into a cohesive unit?

Hypothesis #3 – Play within the division rarely determines the division winner.  Since all 8 divisions are 4-team now, familiarity breeds contempt in the form of a split.  The teams would seem to game plan daily, as well as draft to combat what they see in the division.  Tackle Cam Newton anyone?

Hypothesis #4 – Because of Hypothesis #1, the Saints are chasing SAQT (pronounced “sacked.”)  The Holy Grail is the Superstar Aging Quarterback Transition, SAQT.  Sure you hope you can duplicate Montana to Young, Favre to Rogers, or Manning to Luck, but chances are you won’t.   Chasing that grail is what lead the Saints to make one of their worst draft picks this year when they took Garret Grayson in the 3^rd round this year, depriving the Saints of a 2015 draft pick that could have been spent on a much-needed defensive player.  It was essentially a 2017 pick, as Brees probably is good for at least 2 more years.  I say this acknowledging that Grayson looks good and may be the eventual Brees replacement.  But remember Rodgers sat behind Favre 3 years, who left Green Bay and played 3 more years. And let’s say Favre had instead had another offensive or defensive weapon for those 6 years.  Ask Favre what he thinks.  Ask him what he could have done with Heath Miller, or Roddy White, who were drafted right after Rodgers.   It could be argued that Green Bay spent a draft pick on a QB 6 years too early!  Did the Saints just do that?  Well, here’s what they did do.  They speculated on a player that they really didn’t need, because they had a serviceable 3^rd stringer in Ryan Griffin, who instead they lost on waivers to Tampa – taking extensive playbook and organizational knowledge.  Now Tampa has a guy who knows too much about Drew Brees, how he thinks, how he practices, what he looks for, how he audibles – need I go on?  This greatly puts Hypothesis #3 at risk – it would be devastating to lose both games to Tampa.  This pick was a no-brainer, and the Saints had no brain, unless you are willing to make the argument that Green Bay knew Aaron Rodgers was going to be a league MVP, and you know the same about Grayson.  Tampa Bay is the home opener.  Yuk.

Hypthesis #5 – Maybe the draft isn’t that important since it was cut from 12 to 7 rounds.  The draft might be where you gamble on athletes.  It is now easy to write off the Saints 2014 draft last year as a complete loss, as only first rounder Brandin Cooks is left, after Stanley Jean-Batiste was cut Saturday, probably a year too late,( because it is not nearly as embarrassing to cut a 2014 in 2015 as it would have been to cut him in 2014.)  I call it a whiff, although they will say they were trying to develop a raw talent. 

But wait, there’s more to the story.  Let’s look at the Total Free Agent Class of 2014:

Safety Julius Byrd was the big free agent signing.  Since Sean Payton is stealing a page from the Belichick playbook and won’t discuss injuries, even his own, we’ll be generous and say that since Byrd is apparently in witness protection the jury is still out.  They’ve left him on the roster, so they are optimistic he can contribute to the Christmas Fund.  (And this year so far CJ Spiller is MIA – what is it with these Buffalo guys?)

But, undrafted Free Agents are a little more impressive.  It looks like Willie Snead and Brandon Coleman are going to start on offense, and 4 more players from last year’s undrafted free agent class are still around, making the team or the practice squad.

One more note.  The best NFL roster is probably the Seahawks and half of them are 7^th round or undrafted free agents.  So, maybe the draft isn’t that important anymore.  Particularly, when the offense is so hard to learn, if you are a receiver you will spend a year learning it (See Robert Meachum.)

Hypothesis #6   - The Saints are trying to use their keen eye for offensive talent and turn it into some equality.  Free Agent gem Chris Ivory was traded.  Crowd Favorite Darren Sproles was traded for a draft choice.  And most controversially, Jimmy Graham was traded for an offensive stud at center, and a draft choice turned into defense.  GM Mickey Loomis figures that the offense is always going to be top ten with Drew Brees and these moves dropped us from say 25 points a game to 22.  Neither win if we are constantly giving up 38.  Defense had to improve.  The running game has to improve so the defense is on the field less.  (Anyone sold on Mark Ingram yet?)  It looks like they are hoping Brandon Coleman at 6’6” will be a Graham-like end zone target.  So, my hypothesis is that Coleman will be 62% of Graham and Marcus Murphy will be 86% of Sproles.  I’m betting Murphy is the impact player of this draft class, and he’s taking meaningful backfield snaps by mid-year. 

Hypothesis #7 – In the first game it will take about a half to determine if the Saints will have a better year by counting how many times they’ve hit Carson Palmer.  The Saints are so desperate for a pass rush, that 7 of 11 listed on the defensive line are new to the team.   For the Saints to move up, a pass rush is the key, and I don’t mean Rob Ryan’s propensity to “send the house” on the pivotal plays of a game, to disastrous results.  I mean front four pressure.  Unfortunately there’s rustling in the wind about Cameron Jordan’s role in a local disturbance, and that is the last thing the Saints need right now.  If the Saints can start 2-1, they can have a decent year.  If not, hunker down, the football levees could break like they have 2 of the last 3 years.

But, I'm still going with 10 - 6.  In BP we trust.

At the Cinema - August 2015

The Gift – 10

Every now and then you walk out of the theater knowing you’ve just seen a classic.  I remember being wowed by The Sixth Sense, by Star Wars, and a few others.  That feeling is why I love movies, when you know you've just surrendered and been taken in by a story.

That’s the feeling I had after watching The Gift, a psychological thriller written and directed by Joel Edgerton in his debut behind the wheel.  

Jason Bateman and Rebecca Hall star as Simon and Robyn who are moving from Chicago to Southern California.  It seems to be a career move for Simon, who is from the area, and a little bit of an escape for Robyn.  Soon they run into Gordo, a guy who Jason went to high school with. 

Gordo is played by Edgerton, and he seems to be a little clingy, like one of those guys who is just a little too friendly. He soon brings a gift to the couple, and it's game on.

And that’s all I’m going to tell you.  To give you one more nugget of information would be to spoil this perfectly realized thriller.  Nothing is what it seems and nobody is whom they seem to be other than like everyone else alive they have a haunting from their past.  It unfolds as not just a thriller, but a character study of three individuals trying to get past something.

This is the movie that “Gone Girl” wanted to be.  The problem was that “Gone Girl” was high budget, big stars, high expectation, and half of the people in the theater had read the (allegedly great) book, so they knew what was coming.

Believe me, you won’t guess what’s coming here.  If Hitchcock were alive today he’d be proud of Edgerton’s simple story-telling that sets an apprehensive mood.  I’m pretty good at predicting plots and figuring things out. Not this time. I had no clue what was going to happen.  Nothing quite like a movie sneaking up on you.  I’d seen the previews and they didn’t excite me.  But when I left the theater I sure was.  

Let me put it another way.  This is real movie making.  Transformers 4 is not.

 

Mission Impossible:  Rogue Nation – 9

Every now and then we get someone who is at the absolute top of their game.  Maybe it’s Tom Brady rescuing a Super Bowl (with a little Mississippi help).  Maybe it’s Madison Baumgartner dominating a post-season run like baseball has never seen.  Maybe it’s Meryl Streep in her latest chameleon turn.  Maybe it’s Taylor Swift dominating pop music.  You may not be a fan, you may not be rooting for them, but you have to give them credit.  When someone’s hitting on all cylinders, you know it.

Maybe it’s Tom Cruise.  Because he is certainly at the top of his game.  Yea, I know he’s got a crazy set of religious beliefs, but you’ve got to respect the fact that he can put a movie together, like only a handful of pros can.  He commissions a script, picks a director, hires a cast, and turns it all loose on screen.  He did it last year with Edge of Tomorrow, and he even tops that this year with the 5^th installment of his Mission Impossible franchise.

The action ramps up from the first minutes with an airplane ride that nearly everybody has seen.  Can’t keep that pace up, right?  Wrong.  Soon, he’s an outcast, and the CIA wants to dissolve the Mission Impossible team and Ethan Hunt (Cruise) is on the run.  But, he’s on the run with a purpose – to bring down the super-secret Syndicate, which no one believes exists.  He picks up the help of a mysterious female agent played terrifically by Rebecca Ferguson, and while her allegiances waffle back and forth, they team up to retrieve information and save the world, or something like that.

Amazingly, the tension never wanes for two hours and Cruise and crew run through one action sequence after another.  There is no way that I can think of that they could improve this movie.  When it comes to action, it doesn’t get much better than this.

The Man from U.N.C.L.E – 5

In contrast, almost everything is wrong with The Man From UNCLE.  This was my favorite tv show when I was a kid, yes even ahead of Star Trek.  Napoleon Solo, played by Robert Vaughn, was the super slick secret agent with the karate chop, and Illya Kuryakin (David McCallum) was his cerebral sidekick. 

Mistake # 1.  Director/writer Guy Ritchie decides two James Bonds is better than one, and turns Ilya into a rival super spy of amazing athletic skills.

Mistake # 2.  The setting is sometime in the 50’s.  So rather than show us an amazing array of modern weapons that UNCLE would be employing today (like let’s say the Kingsmen) we get old and tired stuff.  That includes the plot, the villains, the cars, the weapons – need I go on?  The movie is so dated that it falls flatter than a pancake.

Mistake # 3.  They add a girl to the team.  Alicia Vikander, who was stunning in Ex Machina earlier this year when she brought life to a robot, is well, too robotic for her role as Gaby.  She seems to have voice problems and is hard to understand – a huge disappointment for someone whom 6 months ago I thought would be a superstar.

Director Guy Ritchie is much of the problem here.  When I heard he was directing, I was worried, and he delivers the low expectations.  All of his movies lack wit and panache, and that’s what is missing here.  His movies are like sitting through blunt force trauma.

I can’t remember much about the Man from UNCLE except my fondness for it, as it is rare to see it rerun.  I will try to forget this movie as fast as possible.

Scanning the Satellite

Show Me A Hero - 9

I admit it.  I am late to appreciate David Simon.  After I watched his Treme on HBO, which was a love letter to New Orleans, I went back and binge-watched The Wire, which some have hailed as the best show ever to grace the small screen.  So, I was happy to watch his latest, on HBO.  You’ve got to say this about Simon – he doesn’t do any easy stories.  This one is about housing disputes in Yonkers New York in the late 80’s, when a judge orders low income housing to be built in places where it’s not welcome by the neighbors.  It’s heartbreaking and relevant, unfortunately.

You’re the Worst – 9

I’ve watched 8 episodes about a vulgar, maladjusted couple who are mismatched to the world, but may be perfect for each other.  The writing and acting are perfection, but the show is so disgusting and tasteless that I can’t believe it’s on a cable channel, FXX, whatever that is.  Not for the faint of heart, but if you can stomach it, there are a lot of belly laughs.  May be a classic someday, or it may be censored.  But it really should be following Shameless on Showtime – that would be the perfect spot for it.

Mr. Robot - 7
This is an atmospheric story of a corporate computer hacker/security wonk.  At times brilliant, at times maddening, especially with the voice-overs, it's still worth watching, even when it takes a "Fight Club" turn towards the end of the first season. Brooding, dark, and a welcome addition to the TV landscape.  

My Love Letter to New Orleans

On the 10th anniversary of Hurricane Katrina, a group called Evacuteer.org is trying to raise money to place 17 statues around New Orleans.  These would be evacuation bus stops for people who need help getting out if another hurricane were to hit.
As part of their fundraising, they have solicited "love letters to New Orleans" from people to help raise money and awareness, and people like Archie Manning, Steve Gleason, and the Neville Brothers have contributed essays.
Here's the one I posted on their web site:


My family moved to Long Beach, Mississippi just as the Saints were born in New Orleans.
Although I was only in 7th grade, we became rabid and frustrated fans immediately.  The travels to mystical New Orleans were many, and my parents brought us to all the classic restaurants like Brennans, Antoines, and Arnauds, as well as an occasional Saints game.  I even got to a Super Bowl, climbing to the top of Tulane Stadium on crutches to watch the Steelers beat the Vikings.

When I attended college in Hattiesburg, me and my buddies would frequently travel to New Orleans.  One of the reason would be to eat a great slab of prime rib at the long-gone Victoria Station.  We thought it was incredible.  I remember one of my marketing professors, Dr. Tom Smith, asking me what the hell I was doing going down there to eat beef when there was so much other great food.

I would soon learn what he was talking about.  I graduated and took a job in New Orleans and began to get it.  From 1978 to 1988 I loved the whole area, and it loved me back to the tune of about 30 pounds.  And I didn't have any money!  If I'd had, well I hate to think how much more trouble I would have gotten into.  There is no other culture in America like New Orleans.  I often say I've never traveled outside the US, except when I go to New Orleans.

Between the fact that I married a beautiful Louisiana girl who claims to have resided at one time or another in every New Orleans neighborhood, and the fact that my job took me to every single street on both banks of the river, I began to drink it in and really appreciate the uniqueness of south Louisiana.

In 1988 we began moving around the country for my job, and we finally moved back to Mississippi in 1999.  While we were away, we began to form our guidelines for the rest of our life.  Never miss a Jazz Fest, never miss a Saints game, never eat gumbo north of I-10, never miss a hot restaurant, and never stop sweating (whether you're sweating out a hurricane's path, or just sweating.)

I can't believe it's been 10 years since Katrina, but what I can believe is the depth of the resolve and the love that we all feel for this whole area.  The Who Dat nation has a unique set of landmarks to us - whether it's dinner at Brigtsen's, Crawfish Monica at the Jazz Fest, a Ferdi at Mother's, Grilled oysters at just about every restaurant now, the Acura Stage, a snoball at Hansen's, a Saenger experience, a Central Grocery muffaletta, a stroll down Frenchman Street, or Royal, or even Bourbon, a shrimp po-boy at Parkway, or the thrill of falling in love with another restaurant, you just can't beat New Orleans.  When a Saints fan thanks and welcomes a visiting fan for the other team (which doesn't happen in any other place in America, believe me) it tells you two things - we know how our bread is buttered, and there's going to be a lot of it.

Dressed.

At the Cinema - July 2015

Trainwreck – 9

I laughed.  I cried.  I held my bladder.

Like all Judd Apatow-directed movies, Trainwreck fears brevity – that a joke might be missed, that an opportunity to squeeze in one more one-liner might pass without exploitation.  Someday he’s going to helm a classic, and it will be when he takes a page from “Annie Hall” – you can do a great romantic comedy in about 90 minutes.

So that’s what’s wrong with Trainwreck. 

Everything else is just about right.  One of the hottest comedians on the planet, Amy Schumer, somehow found the time to write and star in this.  Although both she and Apatow are badly in need of an editor willing to use the scissors, she continues her winning streak by perfectly painting a picture of a young woman struggling to mature in the way that we are led to believe young women struggle today.  Amy (played by Amy) is promiscuous, often under the influence, and still successfully navigating a career.  Bill Hader as the love interest shows off real acting chops, and even LeBron James’ stunt casting kind of works, even though he could be lumped with a lot of other cameos that are in the movie for some reason.  Q:  Why is LeBron spending so much time in New York? A: He travels a lot.   Is there really a large Chris Evert fan base out there, (other than me?)

The humor is about as R-rated as humor can get, and when Amy and Judd get a “bit” going they beat it to death until every laugh has been wrung out of the subject, whether it’s oral sex or tampons.  That’s a blessing and a curse, depending on how provincial your taste is.  I saw a lot of cringing, but no one left the packed house (largely of women, which I found interesting.)  I suspect they knew what they were in for when they bought the ticket.  So, in raunch-com, Apatow terms, save the overly-long aspect, this movie is damn near terrific.  Even when they slam the comedy brakes on, and I do mean slam, half way through the movie, they seem to know what they are doing, even if it’s still just a too conventional guy gets girl, guy loses girl, guy gets girl story like every other romance ever filmed.  Let’s face it, the envelope-pushing vulgarity in this one will be tame 5 years from now.  By then, this may be a classic. 

Me and Earl and the Dying Girl – 8
In the middle of special effects summer, here comes a movie with real, well fictional, but they seem real, people.  Other than a few cartoons thrown in, this is just a normal movie, and it’s a welcome addition after being avenged, terminated, faulted, and dinosaured to begin the summer.

“Me” is an awkward high school senior, (is there any other kind?) whose overbearing-to-the-point-that-I-wanted-to-runaway mother forces him to go be nice to a classmate who has leukemia.  They reluctantly become friends as they don’t seem to have anyone else, and their story proceeds through their senior year. 

Well, they do have Earl, his co-collaborator on a bunch of home movies that you will only appreciate if you are a movie buff.  This probably explains why this movie won the grand jury prize at Sundance.  Movie Freaks will love it.  Most will like it.  It’s heart-warming and sad, and happy, and kind of stupid.  Just like high school.

Ted 2 – 8

I’ve rarely seen such a tasteless display of filmmaking.  I also rarely laugh this hard.

This is a gross, vulgar, drug-infested piece of film making that had me in stitches throughout.

I liked the first Ted ok, as the bear gimmick seemed to be a vehicle for director Seth McFarlane to cram as much crudeness into an R-rated comedy as he could.  He somehow surpasses that threshold here, and the bits are often a case of piling on.

The audience was full of Ted-lovers, so I didn’t see anybody walk out like I would have expected.  You already know if you’ll like this movie.  You already know if you can tolerate it.   MacFarlane has the same gift as Amy Schumer, just not the nuance.  But, if you’re going to let a bear drive your car, guess there’s not much room for nuance.

Amy – 9

Amy Winehouse was not much equipped for life, much less fame.  This documentary, one of the year’s best, painstakingly tells the story of her rise and fall.  She just wanted to sing jazz, and get high.  Money, fame and the paparazzi increased her opportunity and torment and her descent was rapid.  Scarred by a family breakup, and enabled by some hangers-on, she lapsed and relapsed.  On the night she won a Grammy, she was sober and remarked winning wasn’t much fun because she wasn’t high.  As I watched this chronicle of drug and alcohol abuse and addiction, I just didn’t understand how someone could abuse themselves this way.  Winehouse joined the 27 Club, when she died at that age, as did overdosers Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison, Brian Jones, and Jimi Hendrix as well as Kurt Cobain who committed suicide at that age.   What sets Amy Winehouse’s death apart is that its inevitability was captured on video, and is presented here for the world to learn from.  If it wants to.  The music is amazing, and the lessons are real.  Worth seeing for both.

Terminator:  Genysis - 6

For an old TV series on its last legs, people often point to a specific moment of incredulity and call it “jumping the shark” which refers to a Happy Days episode that featured Fonzie water skiing.  For me however I always watch for that what-if “dream” episode.  That’s a sure sign the writers are running out of ideas and the TV series is on its last legs.

When does a movie series jump?  If Terminator is an indicator, it’s when the writers start re-writing what has happened before in previous iterations.  I’ve never forgiven the writers of Star Trek 2 for making up a new destiny for Captain Pike, (in conflict with a legendary original episode) and now the Terminator series has gone off the rails. 

That’s not to say the movie isn’t entertaining and filled with terrific special effects and cool fights.  It is.

But, the storyline of time travel, with different Terminators flying back and forth through the years, has become so convoluted that it could be a parlor game.  Much like Star Trek, many years of back-story are now irrelevant and I can just see the writer’s table discussing this for a year, justifying their alternate history.  Bah Humbug I say. 

Therefore, I can’t even explain the plot of this movie, other than to say John Conner sends Kyle Reese back in time to save his mother, just like the first movie, only this time Sara Conner is a bad-ass and has been fighting with and against Terminators since 1973.  New actors are in the roles, and they’re not going to make you forget the original cast.  Then there’s Arnold Schwarzenegger, who has always been the centerpiece of this story.  In this movie sometimes he’s old, sometimes he’s digitally enhanced, sometimes he’s young, and sometimes he’s just searching for that next catch phrase.

We love Ahnold

He told us “I’ll be back” and he came back.

He told us “Asta la vista baby” when he thought we wouldn’t see him again.

He told us he was going to Sacramento and “terminate” and off he went.

He told us he needed a maid and we believed him.

Now we’ve got something to tell him.

Say “adios” to the Terminator series. 

Let it go.

Asta La Vista.

Please.

SCANNING THE SATELITTE

John Wick – 8

Keanu Reeves plays a retired kick-ass assassin whose wife has just died.  Three thugs steal his car and kill his dog.  Big mistake.  John Wick is willing to produce an incredible body count to avenge that dog.

This is just an action movie, no more no less.  It’s well done and Reeves has the moves that Tom Cruise showed off when he was the assassin in Collateral.   You know the genre – only one highly paid, highly skilled assassin can actually hit the target and he’s the star.  Great atmosphere, great action – well done.

Two Night Stand – 6

On-line hook ups get an hour and a half treatment in a movie I don’t think ever made it to theaters but is probably getting some play now because the young guy is played by Miles Teller, who was so good in Whiplash.  Of course, he’s not the reason to watch.  Analeigh Tipton is because she oozes cute all over the screen.  The main question in this movie is why do so many women (like Analeigh) get that writing tattoo on their back shoulder blade?  What’s the point?  Who reads this?  Their partner before they go to bed every night?  Is “spoon reading” a thing?  Seen this tattoo placement several times now.  Can someone explain, before I make a fool of myself by trying to get real close to some girl's back to read it.

True Detective – Season two – 8

True Detective is not any easier to decipher in season two than it was in season one.  But, the acting, writing, atmosphere, and story have pulled me in again, not to mention a shootout for the ages.  With five episodes down, and three to go, the series has been torn apart be the critics and the fans of season one, but they were never going to duplicate that buzz, so I’m enjoying this for what it is, HBO doing what it does best, taking chances.

Rectify – Season three – 10

I’ve made it my personal mission to beat the drum for the Sundance channel’s Rectify.

Rectify is the most authentic portrait of the south ever put on any screen. It’s a slow, meandering story of family complexities, and that it somehow captures everything from the pace of life to the accents is nothing short of miraculous.  It’s not an action series.  It’s about relationships, and every line is authentic.  If you’re not watching, go back to the 6 episode season one (Sundance channel or Netflix) and let this masterpiece slowly wash over you like a good book.  This story has progressed in season three to the point where I am in awe.  With patience, you will be enthralled.  It has won a Peabody Award, which is rarely presented to a TV drama.   It’s the story of a man exonerated by DNA evidence from being on death row for 19 years.  How he is received by his new and old family, and the community; and how he tries to fit in is remarkable story telling.  This is one of the series that 10 years from now we'll fondly remember as where we first noticed several stars-to-be, particularly Abigail Spencer who is so good it hurts.  (She's also in True Detective.) Bravo Sundance.

At the Cinema - June 2015

Love and Mercy - 8
You’ll like this movie if you like(d) the Beach Boys, and the more you know about them, the more you’ll  probably like this movie. 

This is the partial story of Brian Wilson.  In order to cover his life director Bill Pohlad has two actors play Wilson.  Paul Dano is the young Brian Wilson and he is spectacular in the role.  John Cusack plays the older Brian Wilson, and while he is a little less convincing, and doesn’t bear much physical resemblance, he certainly brings the angst.  In fact if there were a subtitle for this movie, “bring the angst” would be as good as any.

In the Dano portion, Wilson is trying to break free of both his father and live performing which he dislikes because of the traveling.  In the Cusack section, it’s over-medicating psychiatrist Dr. Eugene Landry that Wilson must break free from.  If not for the efforts of his girlfriend Melinda (beautifully played by the ever versatile Elizabeth Banks) Brian may never have emerged from his funk. 

Oh, there’s enough story here for two movies, and because I just re-watched the miniseries about the Beach Boys which was more in-depth I was able to fill in the blanks.  I’m not sure if someone who doesn’t know the Beach Boys story is going to know what’s going on. 

The best parts of the movie are the recording studio scenes where we get an up close glimpse of Wilson’s creation of such classics as Good Vibrations, Wouldn’t It Be Nice, and God Only Knows.  If the whole movie had just been about the music, and there was certainly enough studio drama and dissent to fill a script, the movie would have been spectacular.  Unfortunately the exhilaration of the music is darkened by the outside influences, and while Pohlad intertwines the stories to some distraction, it’s a story well told, but not all told.  We'll take it.

Jurassic World – 8

You’ll like this movie if you liked Jurassic Park and thrill rides when you were a kid.  Jurassic World is a new amusement park conveniently located where Jurassic Park went awry and undoubtedly Jurassic World II will do the same in about 3 years.  There has been some genetic engineering of dinosaurs going on that is running concurrent with the development of 3D and movie technology.  So what you have here is a nearly flawless special effects roller coast ride that is alternately silly and thrilling, as well as a throwback to every adventure close call cliché that can be jammed into a movie.

Don’t worry, it’s fun, fun, fun until the bad guys let Indominus Rex get away.  That’s the genetic mutation dinosaur designed to bring more business into the park.  Indominus Rex has trained to be nasty, so when he gets loose the adventure begins.  It’s up to Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard to try to stop him and they are properly heroic.  I had a problem with one huge plot hole at the end of the movie, but it’s fun enough for me to overlook that. 

Entourage – 1

For the one time I laughed.

It was a really good line and I don’t remember it.  I wish I did, because I paid a steep price for just one joke.

Filled with cameos that made little sense, this is one of the most disappointing movie experiences since 1845.  I liked the HBO Series.  I hated this movie.

Disjointed, poorly written, poorly acted, poorly directed, poorly conceived and poorly funny, the movie picks up where the series left off, kind of.  It gives a short explanation of why things are the way they are (hint – no Sasha Gray - and she is sorely missed) and it’s all downhill from there.  The timeline makes no sense and it’s a concoction of scenes that just don’t work.  In fact this movie is so bad it made me question my taste in ever watching the series.  Can a movie make the series worse?  I didn’t think so, but I didn’t know how bad a movie could be.

Spy – 7

Melissa McCarthy gets to rattle off enough one-liners to circle the equator in this fairly amusing spy spoof.  It’s often spinning at such a breakneck pace, with jokes so rapid-fire, that one wants to slow it all down and try to comprehend it.  But I guess that’s what DVD’s are for.  She plays a CIA recruit who works in the headquarter basement talking in the ear of her favorite spy.  When circumstances require her to leave the friendly confines it turns out she is a great field agent, of course.  Rose Byrne is terrific as her nemesis and there are some laugh out loud bits here.  It kind of makes me wish they’d whip a lighter touch on James Bond.

San Andreas – 7

You’ll like this movie if you like video games.

The destruction in this movie about a huge west coast earthquake is on such a large scale, that you know you’re looking at computer graphics.  There’s no other way they could have done this.  But, you don’t seem to mind, and that’s a little sad.

While the action is credible and even thrilling at times, I couldn’t get past the Hollywood casting problem that is in the news.  The directors and producers of the movie Aloha have taken an immense amount of flack for casting the lily white Emma Stone as an Hawaiian, which has angered a whole state.

This movie is even worse.  Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson is the hero of the movie.  He lost a daughter in a rafting accident, which led to the breakup of his marriage to Carla Gugino, who finally gets a major starring role.  They spend much of the movie trying to rescue their remaining daughter, played by Alexandra Daddario.

Now Alexandra Daddario IS stunning.  She is also a great actress because she makes you actually believe the single most implausible part of the movie, that a charismatic, beautiful girl who has undoubtedly been hit on by every male in the world, would still be the friendliest young lady on the planet.  No way.  It’s like if (insert the most beautiful woman you can think of here) was walking through a mall saying hi to everyone, and specifically stopped to flirt with you. (Yes, I inserted Angelina Jolie)

But the other thing that I never believed for a minute was that she was the daughter of the Rock.  The Rock’s Wikipedia page states that he is half Samoan, half Black.  This girl has no trace of being anything but even more lily white than Emma Stone.  They really couldn’t find someone that kind of resembled him to play this part?  It would have been like casting Brad Pitt as the son of Oprah Winfrey and Forest Whitaker in Lee Roberts’ The Butler.  I’m not making any comment on race here, just on Hollywood’s casting practices.  I don’t think everyone needs to be white.  A hint of believability would be nice.  But of course when the Rock can commander a helicopter, a truck, a plane, and a boat in under 2 hours and narrowly escape death 14 times (I’m guessing) it lets you know believability is not really the priority.

Having said all that, Alexandra Daddario is probably the best non-computer-generated part of the movie, and she’s on her way to being a big star.  She deserves it after having to perform the ultimate stretch part. 

One more thing.  If you live anywhere close to the San Andreas fault, pack.   Move.

Documentaries

Requiem for the Dead:  American Spring 2014 – 10

Most people I know love guns and there’s no point in debating them.  But in the spring of 2014 an estimated 8000 people were killed by gunfire in the USA.  This riveting HBO documentary tries to put a face on those 8000 people.  Some were accidents, some were suicides, some were murder, and some were other crimes.  But every one of them devastated a family somewhere, and this documentary shoves as many stories and pictures as a person can stand into its one hour running time.  I couldn’t have watched 2 hours of this.  There’s one case in particular that changed my opinion on something within the gun debate.  I don’t expect it will change any minds but I dare you to watch.  

I’ll Be Me – 9

CNN is airing this documentary about Glen Campbell and his ongoing battle with Alzheimer’s.  Showing footage on and off stage of his last concert tour, this paints a very personal portrait of what this disease does to its victims.  I was a big Campbell fan, but even if you never heard of him, this is powerful and moving..