October 9, 2006
Subject: THE SAINTS ARE COMING
The Saints stole one yesterday. They defeated the Huddling Zebras (Dave Barry would say that would make a great name for a rock band), gave up a lot of running yardage, chose to emphasize passing the ball when their running game was working fine, and chose not to blitz a quarterback starting his first NFL game. Since I can remember the Saints losing many games in the last quarter, after outplaying the other team for 3, I don't feel too bad about Reggie's heroics. Special players turn the tide, snatch victory, lift their team.
Was that enough cliches?
Two consecutive numbers, 25 & 26, can be seen everywhere in the dome. We saw why yesterday. Maybe Glenn Davis and Doc Blanchard are now destined to become the other Mr. Inside & Mr. Outside.
I also don't feel too bad about the email I sent to Coach Payton right after the Monday night game. Sometimes you just have to gloat.
Coach Payton,
Congratulations.
I won't take much of your time. You discovered something very important last night.
I want to emphasize it.
I've been to many "big games" in the Superdome - over 20 Sugar Bowls, NFL Playoff games, and Super Bowls. Almost all of them have turned on a big play on special teams. Anthony Carter returning punts to ruin the Saints. Desmond Howard in the Green Bay Super Bowl win. Adam Venitari for New England. The Rams fumble a punt. The list goes on. Steve Gleason's punt block now gets added to the list.
I'm not sure why, but I believe something about the Superdome surface, perhaps the traction, creates this - puts a premium on speed on quickness - more so than a grass surface.
You must understand that this is a blessing and a curse. I've also seen many a player tear his knee up without even being hit.
I have a theory that certain franchises can't win because their home field is too unique, and it is difficult to build a team around your home field advantage that can still compete on the road.
Look at the long curses in sports. The Red Sox and Fenway Park. The Cubs and Wrigley Field. The Astros never won when they played in the Astrodome cavern. Then, the obvious one - The Saints. The Red Sox finally broke their curse behind who - Johnny Damon, Dave Roberts, Curt Schilling. They finally won when they added speed and pitching to their wall bangers. This year they were back to normal. Great offense, no pitching, bye bye playoffs.
The Superdome appears to be a unique playing surface that we've never understood how to build a team to take advantage of it at home, but also win on the road. But special teams for some reason is critical in the dome and you learned it in one game. I don't know that our other 13 coaches ever learned it. You must defense against it and offense for it. I know you'll figure out how.
Teams scout their opponent. They even scout the referees. But do they scout the field?
I just wanted to convey that every big game I've ever attended there has had critical plays on special teams that played a big part in determining the outcome.
I know you'll keep that in mind.
Great job so far.
Sometimes I think I have ESPN.
See you at the next party November 5th when Tampa gets a rematch. Here's hoping we saved the blitz packages for that game and can run our record to 3 - 0 against the Bays.
Coming up, McNabb loose on the dome floor could be a little scary next week. There's just one thing I'm pretty sure of about the NFL -You win games by knocking the quarterback down a lot. Let's hope we can do that. Going into the bye week 5-1 would be pretty neat and sweet.
The Eagles picked on the Cowboys' Drew Statue yesterday. Our Drew's better than their Drew. Should be another great Superdome experience.
The over/under on when Stallworth pulls a hamstring is mid second quarter.
October 4, 2006
Saints Report
Sorry it took me so long to write. I was devastated to know that the Saints won't be undefeated when they win the Super Bowl, as I predicted.
I really can't be faulted though. Like all good sports, we'll blame this on the zebras who were responsible for the first Panther's score when 8 of them missed Keyshawn Johnson's double dribble, which was clearly seen by Jake Delhomme. Jake, playing the smart ball he undoubtedly learned when he was with the Saints, scurried his troops to the line and snapped the ball before the zebras awoke. My story is, and I'm sticking to it, that this cost the Saints the game.
Compound this with the blatant cheating by the Panthers who ran for a touchdown when they should have been falling on the ball to run the clock out, forced Drew Brees to go on a last second passing spree that gave us some hope.
The Saints then failed to gather an onside kick, the lost art second only to the coffin corner punt. What do kickers do all day, practice video games? Why do you kick the ball in the air to the "hands team?" These are things I don't understand as I enter the world of "I remember when."
Despite an expected emotional letdown I really thought the Saints played well and had themselves in position to win. Unfortunately, the lack of a ground attack smacked of the Iraqi war. Oh well. We'll have to settle for 19 - 1.
This week and next I expect to be parked in the Dome. We will reconvene, with Bob Richards doing the cooking, on November 5th. Be there or be hungry.
September 26, 2005
Subject: Crescent City Vodoo
Admit it - you doubted.
You didn't think Deuce was ready to rumble. You didn't think Reggie could slice. You didn't think Drew was this good. You didn't think Jeff could command. You didn't know Bryant could play. You didn't think Steve would even make the team. And you didn't think Sean could actually instill discipline into an atmosphere where lack of discipline is a way of life.
But here we are - undefeated just as I predicted.
Now we face probably the toughest test.
The Saints must gather their emotions in a short work week and travel to a hostile site to play the pre-season Super Bowl favorite that has to be in a nasty mood after a sub-par start.
We must prepare to eat whatever Donnie cooks Sunday.
As the party grows, RSVP's become more important, so please let us know if you'll be in that number Sunday at Noon on Espy Ave.
By the way yesterday was more than just a great football game. Attending the rebirth of the dome was a magical experience I'm sure I will remember as long as my brain cells allow.
Our journey started with Cowboy Mouth (a fabulous local rock band) inciting a barely controlled pre-game riot that the police finally had to pull the plug on to move the crowd out of the street. A great pre-game show with U2 & Green Day, terrific Star Spangled treatment by Irma Thomas, and the uncontrolled hysteria within the dome followed. For the record, I like to sit and watch the game. Sitting wasn't an option. I've been to 4 Super Bowls and none of them have approached the electricity Steve, Donnie, Bob, & I experienced last night. This ranks with the Cal Ripken game as a treasuredfan experience. If you didn't get to go but watched it on TV I hope your view was equal.
Hope to see you Sunday.
September 18, 2005
Saints subdue cheating Packers.
If you didn't show up for the "Saints Away" viewing you missed a good time. Of course the game was closer than it should have been, but once the zebras told the Packers to quit cheating by knocking the ball out of our quarterback's hands, we were off and marching.
New Coach Sean Payton appears oblivious to numerous Saints traditions, but most obviously he inexplicably is requiring that this team play for all 4 quarters. He appears to have a blatant disregard for our long-standing rituals. Often referred to as "Mora-Ball" this custom was refined during the Jim Mora era, and executed to perfection by Bobby Hebert. Coach Mora would have been a wonderful boss to work for, as he always allowed his team to take the 2nd half off, except for Morten Anderson whom he obviously had it in for.
The Jim Haslett era was marked by rampant unpredictability, as you never knew which 2 quarters the Saints were going to play. In the first couple of years Aaron Brooks even led some disturbing 4th quarter comebacks, but Coach Haslett was able to quickly remedy that trend by releasing Willie Jackson, a sometime offender, and replacing him with "Hamstring" Stallworth, who was made for Mora-ball.
There are other disturbing trends emerging. Drew Brees does not seem inclined to fold his tent. Reggie Bush darts around like an energizer bunny. Deuce McAllister is pounding ahead like a freight train. Rookies are contributing. The defense plays every down. The offensive line moves people around and the special teams look like they know what they're doing.
These are all new to us, but no surprise to me.
Remember you heard it here first when I predicted an undefeated season including a Super Bowl victory.
Now, I'm off to the Monday night game. I'm leaving now, so that by the time the game starts I will be ready.
We will reconvene on Sunday October 1st at Noon when the Saints go to embarrass that team wearing those pansy blue and white uniforms in "Carolina," which is apparently some kind of merged state, or a blatant attempt to save on lettering.
By the way, in case you want to make plans, it is fairly obvious the Saints will beat the Bears in the NFC Championship game and the Chargers in the Super Bowl.
Don't know why the NFL is even going to bother with the rest of the schedule.
See you on October 1st. I'll be sending out a menu before hand. It will be highlighted by the stylings of Chef Donnie of Gallo.
Watch for me next Monday night. I'll be the sober one.
September 11, 2005
Subject: Saints Roll – Packers next victim
We will once again view the game this coming Sunday at Noon, as we make Green Bay
the next sight of demolition.
You should make plans to attend as we build our superstitions en route to a perfect season, and seats become limited. We will soon be selling out the den as enthusiasm builds.
Don't be discouraged by yesterday's performance. I too expected a 3 touchdown margin. But Cleveland offered more resistance than the rest of the league will as the Saints march tothe Super Bowl.
See you Sunday. RSVP if you're coming.
September 5, 2005
Subject: Saints Game Sunday
Forget the dismal pre-season - now it's time to crank it up in our march to
the Super Bowl and the first undefeated season since the 1972 Dolphins.
I have it on good authority Sean Payton was spotted shopping for linebackers
at Wal Mart last night. This will put us over the top.
Accordingly, we will watch the first of our "Away Game" series at our house this Sunday in the glory of high definition.
Menu: Probably Smoked Chicken. Smoked on our new Big Green Egg, which Donnie convinced me I just had to have to prepare a menu worthy of a former restaurant owner.
Also, something about distracting us from the actual football.
Here's the way it works:
Someone provides the main course, this time me.
It will eventually rotate to you if you become a regular. These in-depth negotiations will take place prior to each game and the result will be announced via email. I have final menu approval. It will get more offbeat as the season progresses and we will probably get media coverage as the Saints upset one team after another.
YOU always bring what you're drinking. We have water and Crystal Light, and that's about it.
Since Liz and I went on diets, we're boring and bored. YOU also bring any snacks, desserts, etc. you feel like. None required, but it could liven things up as the Saints march up and down the field.
Rules:
We don't answer the door after Noon so just walk in.
No throwing things at the TV
RSVP so I know how many chickens to slaughter. Keep me updated. If you told me you were coming but suddenly can't attend because Susie got a nose job, please let me know.
Otherwise I'm seasoning your food.
Guests are welcome as long as they understand the rules and know which team we root for.
For example, you would not want to bring some raving Jets fanatic who's going to talk about their Glory Day for 3 hours.
Or worse, some Falcon fan who thinks cities made out of highways are cool.
Or a Dolphin fan who thinks Ricky Williams is the real thing,
Or a Rams fan who's going to rant because they fired Mike Martz
Or a 49'ers fan who thinks Steve Young didn't get preferential referee treatment.
Or a Buccaneer fan who thinks their Super Bowl win was anything but a fluke.
Or a Raven fan who thinks their Super Bowl win was anything but a fluke.
Or a Colts fan who thinks this is the year they don't choke.
Or a Giants fan who thinks Eli is as good as Archie.
Or a Bronco fan who thinks Shanahan can coach without Elway.
Or a Raiders fan who thinks Aaron Brooks can read his playbook, much less defenses.
Or a Vikings fan who wishes he'd been on that boat.
Or a Seahawks fan who thinks last year's Super Bowl run was anything but a fluke.
Or a Panthers fan who wants to gloat about Jake Delhomme
Or a Bills fan who is just happy he doesn't live in Buffalo anymore
Or a Browns fan who is still whining about Art Modell
Or a Patriots fan who thinks Tom Brady didn't use steroids
Or a Cowboys fan who thinks Bill Parcells doesn't use steroids.
Or a Cowboys fan who's betting the "over" on the Terrell Owens will last 8 games over/under.
Or a Titans fan who thinks they get to play USC this year.
Or a Texan fan who thinks anyone cares that they got a team.
Or a Jaguar fan who thinks getting a Super Bowl isn't going to be their forever highlight
Or a Redskins fan who thinks Joe Gibbs isn't napping during the day.
Or a Lionsfan who thinks Matt Millen understands football.
Or a Bearsfan who thinks Ditka was a good coach.
Or a Chiefs fan who thinks offensewins
Or a Bengals fan who thinks Carson Palmer will make it through the year.
Or a Charger fan who thinks Junior Seau retired
Or an Eagles fan who thinks he's seen hamstring pulls
If they're a Packers or a Steelers fan we'll probably let them come in if they keep quiet.
See you Sunday
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