Saints Report # 7 - October 28, 2012

The Saints journeyed to Denver to provide the NBC Sunday Night Football crowd with one of those classic 35-34 shootouts between 2 great quarterbacks.  Unfortunately the Saints left 3 touchdowns at the airport and the anticipated shootout became a 34 -14 trouncing. 

If Denver is an example of a balanced football team, the Saints have become the most unbalanced team in history.  First there is no balance between the offense and defense.  Denver showed us what an NFL defense is supposed to look like.  Stars like Champ Bailey, Elvis Dumerville and Von Miller and a mix of young and old talent.  The Saints have no one comparable. 

To make things worse the Saints have no balance between the run and the pass and it has gotten ridiculous.  If there’s a silver lining to this season maybe it’s that Sean Payton is watching and realizing that you still have to run the ball in the NFL.  I read an article this week that suggested that the Saints upgrade the running back position in the offseason.  How ridiculous.  They have four, possibly five perfectly good running backs.  If anything, the biggest irony is having the caliber of running backs we have, and still being unable to run the ball.  Don’t you wonder what would happen if Pierre Thomas, Darren Sproles, Chris Ivory, or Mark Ingram got 20 carries in a game?  Wait – we have an answer.  Reggie Bush.  Look what he’s doing in Miami with double the workload Payton would allow him to have.  He had over 1000 yards rushing last year, and 1400 total from scrimmage.  He has 493 yards rushing this year. The whole Saints team has 508.  He’s learned to run between the tackles.  Guess what – Pierre Thomas already knows how. Give him the ball 20 times a game.  Or Ingram, who looks worse than Bush did at first.  Or, maybe Ivory, who hasn’t been active all year.  Why can’t these talented backs run the ball?  Because we don’t hand it to them, and the blocking is terrible, because it's obviously an afterthought at practice time. 

Here’s the thing – if you asked the coaching staff if they would rather gain 5 yards with a pass or a run, I’d bet they’d say pass.  And that is the wrong answer.  I couldn’t be a bigger fan of Drew Brees, but he can’t carry this imbalanced mess on his back. If we ran the ball twice as much (like 50% of the time) I can assure you our defense would be better.  They’d be off the field a little. The injuries in the receiving corps are a good example of one of the things that goes wrong when you throw on every down.  It’s time to put some heat on some running backs and maybe keep the defense off the field a little.  The math is simple.  To make the playoffs, we can’t lose again.  To not lose again, we need balance.  The kind of balance we showed only once in the Payton era.  Seems like it was the year we won a Super Bowl. 

Saints Report # 6 - October 21, 2012

I guess you can sum up the New Orleans Saints defense this way.  Their biggest play of the year will probably be on a 94 yard gain that could have gone 95.  When Malcolm Jenkins, who was too slow to play cornerback for the Saints, inexplicably ran down Vincent Jackson from behind on what looked like a sure touchdown, it may have saved the Saints season.  The Saints pulled off a goal line stand, then reversed the field with a long drive to put the game away.  Or so we thought.

I can’t say it better than Hokie Gajan, who said something like this.  “With the Saints offense, no lead is safe.  With the Saints defense, no lead is safe.” 

The Saints beat Tampa 35 – 28 when an apparent touchdown catch on the last play of the game was nullified with a penalty.  Some days you’re the windshield.  Some days you’re the bug.  On this day the Saints got the breaks they haven’t been getting all year, and it helped.  But it was actually a relatively good game from a Saints defense that seems to be improving that kept the Saints close, until the offense could get going.   New Orleans  was admittedly helped by Tampa Bay’s Josh Freeman, who seemed to be high and outside much of the day. 

Meanwhile, Drew Brees had a phenomenal first half and a solid second half to hang up the 35 that Saints fans have become used to.   Jonathan Vilma returned for this game, and Interim Head Coach Joe Vitt returns for the next, as the Saints continue to try to forget September.  Long way to go to get that accomplished though.  Especially with the first of two Mannings up next.

Saints Report # 5 - October 7, 2012

October finally arrived for the Saints as they got several emotional lifts and several long awaited breaks to come from behind and beat the San Diego Chargers 31-24, rocketing the Saints to a 1-4 start. 

When Drew Brees arrived on the Superdome scene, he relied on Marquis Colston.  Then, the Saints began to add competent receivers and Brees spread the wealth.  With the receiving corps depleted, Brees turned back to old reliable Colston and he responded with 3 touchdown catches, to lead the Saints. 
Long time speedster Devery Henderson scored first however, and his first quarter TD reception was the one on which Brees broke a 50 year old record held by Johnny Unitas. 

The schedule makers were kind to the Saints.  Not that Brees ever needs motivation, but he relished setting it against his old team.  In addition the Saints were finally evenly matched as they played the other NFL team that operates without a head coach this year.  No, I don’t think much of Norv, and the way the Chargers self-destructed into a 2^nd and 37 situation on the last drive was pretty typical of his habit of doing less with more. 
Night games in New Orleans give the Saints a nice advantage as the crowd has all day to get fired up, so that didn’t hurt.  It was the latest in a series of emotional games in the dome.  It was nice to see the exiled Sean Payton allowed back in the building.  I suppose he’ll be a pariah to fans in every other NFL city for the rest of his career, but his place in the New Orleans pantheon of heroes is secure. 
Helmets off to Drew Brees.  He has the perfect offense and skill set to break this record and hopefully extend it out of reach.  But one has to be in awe of Johnny Unitas.  I remember watching him and no one was close to him in that era.  This is an amazing record as it was set in a completely different era – 12 game schedule, emphasis on the running game, less skilled receivers (although his favorite target Raymond Berry was terrific) and defensive backs that were actually allowed to cover.  Two great quarterbacks.  It was nice seeing them in the same discussion. 

The most encouraging thing about the game is that the defense improved slightly, and (gasp) stepped up in the final two minutes to preserve the game.  This is all the normally insane Saints fan needs to think that October, November, and December are enough months to excavate out of this hole.  Let’s take a week off to think about it.

I Don't Give a Hoot What You Think You are Entitled To

Thanks for all your emails and posts attempting to influence my vote.

As the election approaches, the two parties have been incessantly shouting at my independent ass to “wake up.”  Bad news – that’s not a great strategy.   Every four years one party is hollering that they need my help to “take back” their country from the opposite party.  Honestly, I’d like to take the country back from both of them most of the time.  Anyway, I thought I should clear up a few things so that they would understand how to get my vote, wasted though it is because I live in a non-swing state.

It grows louder every year.  “Entitlements” are killing us as a nation.  It causes many of my closest friends great resentment and consternation, and at times boiling blood pressure. Yet, I believe the elusive truth is that when it comes to entitlements, I take a back seat to no one.

I am the entitled one and don’t you forget it.

Here’s just a partial list of what I’m entitled to.  If I’ve forgotten anything, just assume it’s my right and the government is supposed to provide it:

I’m entitled to a roaring economy at all times.  I’m entitled to an endless bounty of opportunity.  If the economy is bad, fix it before I’m inconvenienced.

I’m entitled to a low unemployment rate.  In case there’s any confusion, it’s the government’s responsibility to make sure I can get a job.  I’m entitled to a job.  I want to work, just not too hard, and please be sure I get great benefits.  If my skills are useless, I’m entitled to government help to teach me new skills. 

I’m entitled to a mind numbing array of goods and services – and I want them free. 
It’s the government’s role to do whatever it takes to make me happy, up to and including borrowing obscene amounts of money, printing money, manipulating money, etc, etc. to make my life a constant joy.  You may call that deficit spending.  I call it the American way.  Think of it as pre-spending, kind of like pre-boarding.  Consider it the medication of the American Voter, Buying our votes $16 Trillion at a time. 

I’m entitled to perfect roads and bridges so I can go where I need to go.  Fix the potholes already. 

I’m entitled to cheap fuel.  I’ve got a budget you know, even if you don’t Mr. President, and I expect you to hold transportation costs down.  I’ve got places to go and things I can spend my money on when I get there. 

I’m entitled to a perpetually decreasing tax rate.  You do the voodoo – I don’t care how you do it.  Keep cutting my taxes, or at least promise me you will.  I’m gullible that way.  Also, I’m entitled to shield my money from your grubby paws with things like “tax shelters,” “charitable contributions” and “deductions” for munchkins.  In fact, if my income isn’t up to snuff, pay me for my munchkins, and pay their food and health care costs while you’re at it.  In fact, I’m entitled to not be taxed at all.  All men are created equal, but their tax rate shall vary.  

When you’re done taking everybody else’s money, I’m entitled to some grants.  I’m going to need them. 

I’m entitled to a nearly non-existent inflation rate.  Prices can’t go up, and if they do, just lie to me if you have to, like for example just exclude food and fuel when you figure the inflation rate, but whatever you do, don’t let prices go up.  I’m entitled to level expenditures and increasing revenues.  I’m entitled to disposable income to dispose of. 

I’m entitled to running my business without pesky regulations or laws.  This constant interference in the name of things like “environment” or “employees” or “anti-trust” just prevents me from “banking” and “banking” is what I’m entitled to. 

I’m entitled to a miniscule rate of interest when I borrow money.  It’s definitely helpful when free money is one of the things you’re manipulating.  Oh, and when I don’t feel like paying it back, or things aren’t working out, I like the concept of walking away from debt.  I’m entitled to that.  Somebody’s got to pay.  No reason for it to be me. 

Call me maybe?  Call me spoiled. 

I’m entitled to a low crime rate. Please see to it. 

I’m entitled to a low drop out rate.  Take care of education please, just borrow the money and those kids you’re educating will pay it back some day.  We need our kids educated so they can invent things I need. 

Oh, and by the way, I’m entitled to a Supreme Court that interprets laws exactly the way I want them interpreted.  They confuse me sometimes and I don’t like that.  It makes me whine a lot, and I’d rather be drinking wine.  I’m entitled to that. 

I’m entitled to a safety net that will pay me back multiples of what I put in.  Send the tab to the other table please.  Don’t trouble me with the math.  It’s not my fault I might live longer than expected. 

I’m entitled to a perfect environment, and a never-changing planet.  Or, if it’s changing, please make sure I’m more comfortable, not less. 

I’m entitled to a President that will make all this happen.  There are a billion people that think they can do that job better than whoever is in there, and I’m one of those people.  If he’ll just do what I’d do, things would be a lot better, and I’m entitled to perfection.  By the way, even if things go perfectly I’m going to bitch and complain.  Odds are my life is miserable and you’re to blame, Mr. President.  For everything.  If you can’t accept the fact that you’re responsible for every single thing in America, stay out of that White House kitchen. 

I’m entitled to security.  I’m entitled to the strongest military in the world and it should be solving all the problems in the world because I don’t really have time.  Put that on the tab.  I’m entitled to not have to think about “foreign” and “policy,” so please handle that stuff without my involvement.  I’m entitled to concentrate on the important things in the world, like Kardashians, sports, my new iphone, Honey Boo-Boo, whatever that is. 

I’m entitled to an endless supply of technology that makes my life easier.  Eventually I don’t want to get out of bed.  Just bring me stuff.  I’m entitled to bigger and bigger televisions.  Eventually I just want to live IN the television.  That way I can live with the Kardashians. 

I’m entitled to some social reform by the way.  I’m entitled to an endless array of promises by you politicians on how you’ll fix things.  I’m entitled to hear what I want to hear.  Keep promising me things that I want to get my vote, even though you really have no intention of, or ability to, change them.  You’ve been promising action on abortion for 40 years now, and no telling how many candidates I’ve voted for based on their view on that subject – yet nothing has changed.  Rome’s on fire and we’re discussing the fiddle.   Please keep my eye off the ball.  I want our financial meltdown to be a complete surprise.  I can say I voted for the guy who was against “don’t ask, don’t tell,” whatever the hell that means.  Someday that will be the title of the Chapter on the US default to China. 

I’m entitled to protection from evil people who do things in one room in their house, behind their closed doors, that I find deviant.  These people are threats to our way of life. 
You know who I’m talking about. 
I’m talking about vegetarians.  We can’t allow what they do in the kitchen to infect our society.  It’s un-American to not eat meat.  It’s also made clear in Romans 14:2  “For one believeth that he may eat all things: another, who is weak, eateth herbs.”  Herbs?  We can’t support America by eating herbs.  You see, these vegetarians, and what they are doing in their kitchens, are making my life unbearable.  They are weak, and a threat to the very fabric of America.  Soon, they will want to marry each other and we will have generations of people like them, killing off our cows.  They must be stopped, and we need candidates who will not allow Vegetarian marriage before I have to watch them in public, sucking on each other’s carrots.  I’m just as entitled to dictating what goes on in their kitchen as I am to dictating women’s health issues, because I have unmatched insight.

That reminds me.  I’m entitled to subsidies.  If my business isn’t viable, it’s the government’s job to prop me up and manipulate my market to protect me.  At the same time, I’m entitled to a free market.  I’m getting confused.  Just send me a check.

I’m entitled to use any means to reach the ends in this election.  The truth is a casualty of this society.  There is no truth anymore.  Suppress, lie, balance, truth, cheat, steal, facts, statistics.  They are all just useless words.  I’m entitled to get my way, as soon as I decide.  If I don’t get my way, I’m entitled to at least four years of pouting and undermining the bad guy who wins. 

I’m entitled to defend myself.  I’m entitled to any weapons I want to own, just like guaranteed in the constitution.  I’m entitled to return fire on some bozo shooting up the joint.

Speaking of the constitution, I’m entitled to freedom from all religions except mine.

Since there are so many religions to choose from, I’ll just go with the consensus commandments I’ve observed:

1. Thou shalt have no God before Money
2. Thou shalt not honor anyone not in the same skin color
3. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord they God in vain outside the sports arena
4. Remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy except in football season
5. Honor thy mother.  And thy father if you know him
6. Thou shalt not kill the unborn.  Once born, they’re fair game.
7. Thou shalt not commit adultery and get caught
8. Thou shalt not steal votes
9. Thou shalt not bear false witness in a non-election year
10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s stuff unless it was an entitlement.

So, let me summarize.  If you need a guideline, let this be it. 

As an American, I’m entitled to get back more than I contribute.   

I’m entitled to that kind of math because I live in the greatest country ever and the supply is endless.

Convince me I’m going to get back more than I put in and you’ll get my vote.  Don’t try to convince me it’s right for America, just that it’s right for me.

There, I’m done. 
Hopefully I’ve offended everyone, and you’ve learned there’s no one more entitled than me.
I’ve exercised the freedom of speech I’m entitled to, and I’ll be deciding whom to vote for real soon. 

In the meantime, if I’ve left anything out, please let me know.

Wait, forgot one thing.  I’m entitled to the left lane at all times.

Saints Report # 4 - September 30, 2012

Mercifully, September is in the history books.

The Saints pulled out of the early season doldrums Sunday,

moving straight into playoff form.

Brees threw 52 passes and lost. 

He put a saddle on his back and threw for over 400 yards - not enough.

Saints Missed a potential winning field goal
No running game.  The defense cracking under playoff game pressure.
Poor decisions to kick field goals when Saints should’ve been going for broke.
Yep, looked so much like a playoff game I suggest we just forget September.
Sing along to this one,

 

September by Earth Wind & Fire

Do you remember any football in September?

We weren’t mistaken for pretenders
While fumbling the ball away

Our defense was missing

Despite our fans a hissing
As we stumbled in the night
Remember how Goodell stole the coach away

Ba de ya, say do you remember

Ba de ya, football in September

Ba de ya, never was a good game day

But Brees is with you

Waiting just for Vitt to see you
Only black gold and love
Remember how we knew playoffs were here to stay

Now December eased the pain that we shared in September

Vilma, Pierre, and Darren
Forget the pain that we share today.

Ba de ya, so don’t remember

Ba de ya, football in September
Ba de ya, soon some good game days