Two Letters

As I write this in August of 2021, we are almost a year and a half into a world-wide pandemic of a virus that is mutating as it relentlessly seeks its next host.  I hope we haven’t missed our chance to snuff it out.  Too many have died, its lingering severity is becoming obvious, and I am still frustratingly limited in things that I had hoped to be doing in this year of my life, and not just because of the virus.

It occurs to me that I can provide a valuable public service for those who have chosen to not protect themselves with an available vaccine.  Therefore I have written two explanatory pieces that can be used as a script or a letter to their future generations, should the worst happen.  Please feel free to modify, transplant, or delete sections as you see fit.

FOR GRANDPARENTS 

 

Dear grandchild,

If you are being handed this letter by my offspring, it means I am no longer present.

I felt it was important to explain why.  I trust they have given it to you at the appropriate moment, when you can understand what I’m about to say.  I made it clear to my children that the decision if, where, and when to give this is purely up to them.

Perhaps you have heard this in a history class, perhaps it has been forgotten, perhaps it has been similarly repeated. 

Back in the year 2020 a virus spread across our planet.  Our then-President initiated an unprecedented  program called "operation warp-speed" to quickly develop vaccines that could protect us against the deadly virus.  It was implemented in early 2021, and got immediate positive results.  Unfortunately, the virus mutated, as living things often do.  For a variety of reasons some chose to resist the use of the vaccine.  I was part of the resistance.  I knew there was a very small chance I could get infected and die, and if you are reading this, that is what happened.  I want you to know that I chose not to avail myself of the vaccine on principled reasons.  Because I’m gone, you may not agree with my decision, but I hope you will respect it.

Perhaps before I died, I got to hold you in my arms.  Perhaps you came along after my passing.  I hope you remember me, or have been told about me.  I hope you will forgive me for not being around.  There is so much I have probably missed.  Maybe I missed your playing sports.  Maybe music.  Maybe I could have had a hand in developing your interests or hobbies.  There are certainly family traditions I would have liked to keep alive, along with thousands of little moments we would have shared.

By the time you get this letter, perhaps you have experienced milestones I could have observed.  Perhaps you have experienced heartbreak that I could have been there to help you through.  I would have liked to be there to wipe your tears away or hug you with unbridled joy.  I’m sorry I won’t be there to watch you go on your first date, go to your first homecoming, your first prom, and even watch you fall in love.  I would have liked to have danced at your wedding.  I would have liked to see what your children looked like, and watched you experience that new kind of love. If pictures are still a thing, I would be taking them, I promise.

I want to apologize for not being part of your life.  If you have been handed this letter, I have missed elections and events that were important to me.  I didn’t get to grow as old as I had intended with my friends.  We all die eventually, but we all seek to prolong life to continue drinking in what life has to offer.  I made a choice and I have missed out.  I hope my decision affected only my health, not anyone else’s.  If my decision spread the disease and caused pain to other families that would be an unwelcome legacy of my decision.

I don’t know what our country is like as you read this, but we had fought wars and diseases successfully by doing it as one nation, united and indivisible.  I can tell you that when I decided not to take the vaccine we were a terribly fractured nation.  I hope the nation has healed, but I honestly am doubtful.  I hope for your sake, I am wrong and you grow up with a patriotic appreciation for this country I love..

I want you to understand I died on a principle I believed in, just as many have died fighting for our country in bloody wars.   I hope you have been taught the principles I would have taught you.  I hope when given the chance, you will stand for something.  Sometimes, we have to take great risks.  In our case, it didn’t work out, but it was my decision and mine alone.  I know I’ve a left a void in our family.  I didn’t mean for it to happen that way.

I hope I am watching over you and you have the life I envisioned for you.

I would have enjoyed loving you.

 

FOR PARENTS

Dear (son or daughter),

If you are getting this, it was because I wanted you to know why I am no longer in your life.

You’ve probably heard the story of my death already, but I wanted you to know that when I chose not to get vaccinated it was because I sincerely believed that (fill in personal reasons here, such as government overreach, uncertainty about the research, hoax, side effects, etc.) As you read this I don’t know if in my last days I would have reconsidered that decision or not, but I do want to tell you how important it is that as you grow up, you get good information and make good choices.  Stand tall for what you believe in.  But also, consider the long-term ramifications of your decisions.  I may have lost perspective in the incredible stress and rhetoric of a most volatile and dangerous situation.  It wasn't the exit I had hoped for.

Perhaps your mom/dad has gotten help from others in raising you, assuming they survived this pandemic.  I guess there’s a chance that what got me spread to them or other family members, and that would be tragic.  I know how vital adult guidance is as a person develops and I hope they loved you.   Since you survived, I trust good people have stepped up to care for you, and if I was replaced by a step-parent, a grand-parent, or even a foster-parent, I hope you gave them the same respect you would have given me.  That’s important to me.

By now I have missed much in your life, with much more ahead.  I hope you have a happy and fruitful life and I hope I am watching over you.  I hope you have been, and will continue to be, the strong person I thought you were on the way to becoming.  I hope you are a great role model for those around you.  I had so many plans for us, and I’m sorry they went awry.  Please tell your children and grandchildren about me, hopefully with no bitterness.  I really thought I was doing the right thing.  It just didn’t work out, and you will find that life can be that way.

Wishing I was there,