At the Cinema - June 2021

 Brockmire – 10

The brilliance of Brockmire starts at the moment that Hulu declares the show is intended for mature audiences, which is a satiric understatement of epic proportions.  Maturity?  That’s a minimal requirement.  One must be able to dive into tastelessness, vulgarity, and over-indulgence of sex, alcohol and drugs, the likes of which would make the cast of Shameless blush.  The easily offended should look elsewhere.  Jimmy Fallon awaits you. 

But if you are willing to take the X-rated dive, Brockmire is hilarious.  It’s about a hedonistic baseball broadcaster trying to get back to the majors after a divorce-fueled meltdown.  Turns out Brockmire (played by Hank Azaria with great gusto) might as well embrace his outrageousness.  There are 32 episodes, and while you feel like taking a shower after watching, it is hard for a sports fan not to embrace, especially when Amanda Peet is on-screen.  Another bonus is that the 2^nd season takes place in New Orleans, where Brockmire can thrive in his indulgences.

Brockmire originally aired from 2017 to 2020 on IFC and the first three seasons cruise along, but it is the 4^th and final season where the gloves really come off.  The last 8 episodes bounce back and forth between 2020 and 2030.  The writer’s dystopian predictions of the world and sports seem more brilliant than most movies dedicated to that purpose, right down to the drug commercials.  They predict the problems we will be trying to address 9 years from now and they are hilarious.  The evolution of sports, particularly baseball, is laid out.

As my rickety, crickety body has revolted against my desire to leave a recliner periodically, I have watched even more sports than I normally do.  I watched an NBA playoff game where it took 30 minutes to play the last 2 minutes, as replays were done on every facet of the game, including substitutions - who was on the floor and when did they know it?  Jeff Van Gundy, who is idiotic only half the time, debated that a replay of a ball getting knocked out of bounds was incorrectly called because it was ruled that the player who touched it last was not the player who caused it to go out of bounds.  This distinction would have been hotly debated by most booth partners, but his, Mark Jackson, can only speak in adjectives, not complete sentences.  Both of these guys are constantly mentioned as NBA coaching candidates.  Either would probably be better than Jeff’s brother Stan was for the high potential, low-production New Orleans Pelicans who treated the last two minutes of every game like it was an episode of The Twilight Zone.  Yes, I watched a lot of NBA basketball this year, and I came to understand that it’s all about the last 2 minutes, much like Jeopardy is all about the Daily Doubles, and in case you were wondering, I’m on team Blalik.  So far.  Jeopardy spring training will apparently stretch out longer than the NBA playoffs.

Then there was the College World Series where the umpiring was, shall we say, a tad inconsistent. And there were so many delays for replays that they should have been sponsored.  “This delay is brought to you by Olive Garden, the restaurant that the 6 umpires who have gathered for two minutes prior to initiating a replay, are presumably talking about as their din-din destination.”

All of which makes you wonder where sports will be in 2030?  Brockmire has the answer.  Baseball games, which already move at the speed of school zone traffic, have slowed to the pace of the turtle Brockmire owns.  If today they are undressing pitchers in a middle of a game looking for goop, can 5 and 6 hour games be far behind?  Very likely according to Brockmire who sees player’s unions stopping the action mid-game to demand 20-minute water breaks due to the excessive heat (global warming ya know).  Attendance has plummeted to just those with nothing better to do, and they only show up for Pranks-on-the-edge of decency.  Bill Veeck would be proud.  I’ve never worn a full batting glove so I don’t understand why you unbuckle it and rebuckle it between every pitch, but we have Derek Jeter to thank for that human rain delay, and so a game delayed while a batter tries to pick a bat from 5 approved bat colors in the on-deck circle seems a natural extension.  Let’s face it - all major sports are in replay hell and it’s adding so much time to the games that can we be far from reviewing every single play with digital on field cameras in everyone’s eyebrows?

So, amidst the absurdity of 2030, it is up to Brockmire and company to save baseball from itself.  I rooted for them.  This is a profane character study of some really bad but lovable characters and the scripts are terrific, helping Brockmire takes its place among the all-time ribald classics like Veep, Shameless, and Californication. (Shout out to DJ).  Highly recommended for sports fans with a high tolerance for indecency. I think it's a classic.

The Tomorrow War – 8

Amazon Prime splashes their prodigious stash of cash all over the small screen to produce a pretty satisfying time travel piece starring Chris Pratt in The Tomorrow War.

I admit it.  I’ve been a sucker for time travel ever since I watched what is probably my single favorite tv episode of all-time – City on the Edge of Forever, a Harlan Ellison penned episode of Star Trek.  The singular premise of most of these is don’t go back in time and mess with the past – you can really change the present, or the future.  And that’s not good.  Back to the Future, Looper, Time After Time, Time Cop.  Great stuff.

But what about when you are trying to change the future?  Well, in this one Chris plays a teacher who gets drafted to get sent forward to 2051 to fight a war the world is losing to invading aliens.  We are down to half a million people and there is no hope.  Except that Chris sees some familiar faces and gets to work.  I’m not going to go so far as to say it’s ingenious, or even riveting, but it’s good enough for an evening at home in the recliner, and there’s no shortage of special effects, as Amazon has so much money to spend.  In fact they have so much money they’re actually going to put Jeff Bezos in a rocket ship and send him into space.  What is it with these super-rich guys and space travel?  Seems pretty risky to me, and do the stockholders get a say in this little adventure?   If you have that much money, let’s concentrate on time travel.  It’s an obvious need.  I’d really like to go back and see a young Julie Andrews on Broadway.  But only if there’s an empty seat for me.  Wouldn’t want to bump someone and change history. 

At the Cinema - May 2021

 A Quiet Place – Part 2 – 8

After a 14-month pandebreak, we ended our theater fast with this follow-up to the classic 2018 horror film, directed by John Krasinski, who has gone from The Office to The Bank in a few short years.  During our break, we streamed, we rented, we binged, and we had no lack of entertainment, because we do after all, have a dog.  We watched Hamilton three times if you’re keeping score, and I can simulate the sound of the theater experience at home, but not that unique scope of the stage/screen experience because my house can’t accommodate that screen size.  So, it was exciting to get out to the theater again and I found this movie to be worth the trip.

Make no mistake, “Quiet” is a franchise.  Much like TV’s The Walking Dead, the creators have weaved an alternate world that can make for some rich story telling and suspense.   I can see it now.  It’s 2041.  I’m 88 and they wheel me into the TV room of “the home” to settle into A Quiet Place, part 12, starring Justin Bieber in his acting debut as a never-was rock star trying to entertain the troops who have the monsters surrounded and are peppering them with heavy metal rap.

Now about this movie.  It is well done, and I’m pretty sure it will be a big post-pandemic hit, giving the entire movie industry a pick-me-up.  I didn’t care for the editing much.  There are three set pieces going at once, with frantic cutting between them to a simultaneous conclusion, which we pretty much can predict.  Later Krasinski repeats that technique with two pieces at the movie’s climax.  It was a little manipulative to me, but there’s no denying it puts you on the edge of your seat.  We see a lot more of the monsters, which are ugly and use their long legs to scoot very fast across the ground to wreak havoc, although they have the good sense to slow down when approaching a movie star.  The creatures follow sound, and the emerging star/hero of the movie is played exuberantly by the fantastic deaf actress Millicent Simmonds, although her character’s survival defies all logic because she can’t hear herself make noise, nor can she hear the creatures, who everyone else can hear clacking as they approach.  Her survival, much less her heroics, probably require the largest suspension of disbelief in movie history.  Nevertheless, the movie is fun, if not up to the impossible standards set by the first one.  This ain’t the Empire Strikes Back.  But it doesn’t have to be.  And Millicent has a Vin Diesel-like mansion in her future, hopefully in the same neighborhood as the Krasinski’s. 

 

Mare of Easttown – 10

HBO gifted us with this 7-part crime drama that we watched week to week.  We weren’t used to waiting a week for the next episode and found it particularly painful in a series of this quality, which matches the high art of some of HBO’s iconic series.  This is something special.

Kate Winslet plays a troubled detective in a troubled eastern Pennsylvania town.  Mare is famous for the shot she hit as a basketball star, but her life has been a roller coaster since, as lives tend to be.  She is faced with solving a series of horrible crimes involving young women and she must wade through a lot to get to the truth.  I haven’t seen character development like this since “Rectify” and Winslet and Jean Smart, who plays her mother, should clear off their mantels.  You’re lucky.  You can binge it, several episodes at a time.  Drink this one in.  It is a worthy pinnacle of the art of story telling as television just gets better and better.  It’s not just television.  It’s not just HBO.  It’s a masterwork of pacing, detail, and acting.  Bleak, deep, and engrossing. I can't wait to watch it again. .

 

The Crime of the Century – 10

The 4 hour, 2 part HBO documentary is the real life horror story of the opioid epidemic.  Like the pandemic, over half a million lives were lost to the pain-killer addiction, but much more quietly.  This documentary painstakingly builds the case for how much greed can cost us.  I don’t know how Alex Gibney keeps turning out superb documentaries.  This one will make you shake your head til it rattles.  The conspiracy of Big Pharma and the complicitness of some government officials who failed to realize what was going on will horrify you.  It did me.  I have been suffering with sometimes pain (back and knees) for all of 2021, and I can see the dilemma that so many face trying to find anything
that will relieve it.  But, the addictive properties of opioids are just as scary as the pain.

 

Without Remorse – 8

Michael B. Jordan is a bonafide movie star and in this Tom Clancy story he plays a Clancy favorite John Clark.  He is a Navy Seal out to avenge his pregnant wife’s death.  It actually reminded me of Kill Bill, as Clark must recover from the attack that killed his wife.  Turns out there’s quite a conspiracy a foot and Clark must unravel it.  Made for Amazon prime, this was better than I thought it would be and is a worthy action diversion.

Classics Report

The Red Shoes – 10

Number 121 on the Sight and Sound Greatest Movie poll, this a stunning movie that blew me away.  The performance of the Red Shoes Ballet that takes place in the movie is fantastic considering this was released in 1948.   If you’ve ever had the least bit interest in ballet, this is not to be missed.  Worthy of its ranking.

Paths of Glory -10

Stanley Kubrick’s 1957 war classic is a sickening “war is hell” reminder.  World War I isn’t depicted much in movies, but this tells a grim tale of those foxholes.  Set in France, I was astounded by the contrast of the generals dining in luxury and calling the shots for the soldiers in foxholes. 

My Darling Clementine – 9

Number 247 in the S&S poll, this is another western directed by the great John Ford.  It is the 1945 “Henry Fonda as Wyatt Earp” telling of the OK Corral Story.  A little more romance than normal, with Earp scooping up on the discarded girlfriend of Doc Holliday (Victor Mature).  Her name is Clementine, and she is played by Linda Darnell.  They wrote a song about her, and no one has named their daughter Clementine since, although it’s a pretty cool name if you think about it.  The movie is fun, although I doubt if belongs in the top 250 of all time.  Next up for us will probably be the 1957 Gunfight at the OK Corral with Burt Lancaster and Kirk Douglas, followed by the 1967 Hour of the Gun with James Garner and Jason Robards.  Oddly, both were directed by John Sturges.  There have been at least 9 versions of this story.  Don’t know how they can beat Tombstone and Kurt Russell/Val Kilmer though, huckleberry. 

 

Coming soon, a rare dining column and my New Orleans favorite restaurants.  Stand by.

Rick Ranks from the Couch - 250 Favorite Movies

I have been trying to get through the Sight and Sound top 250 movies as selected by film critics worldwide.  Some are good.  Some aren't.  Most are foreign movies with subtitles.  

Not crazy about their list, I thought I would do my own list of my 250 favorites.  I have chosen to put them on Ranker.com.  There you can bookmark them and I can keep the list current with modifications from time to time.  Perhaps this list will outlive me and one night you will be wondering what to watch and pull up my list and pick a flick.  That would make me happy.

Here's the list.

https://www.ranker.com/list/rick-rants-and-ranks-his-favorite-movies/rick-osswald/

For reference here is the Sight and Sound 250:

Sight & Sound's Critics' Top 250 Films (listchallenges.com)

I expect comments in 2 formats:

I can't believe you rank "a" higher than "b."  or I can't believe you left "c" off your list.

Let me explain.  I have some weird tastes and don't always see things the way others do.  Those contrarian views extend well beyond movies, by the way.  But you already knew that.  

At the Cinema - April 2021

The Father – 10

Anthony Hopkins won his second Best Actor Oscar, in a huge upset over Chadwick Boseman, for his portrayal of a an elderly man in the throes of dementia.  The screenplay also won a well-deserved Academy Award, as it plays with his life the way Christopher Nolan plays with time.  Olivia Coleman plays the daughter trying to care for him. 

I didn’t realize until late in the movie how bad his dementia was, to the point that his life was almost a hallucination, and his memory was not only playing tricks on him, but playing tricks on us.  As I age, and  not only does my memory suffer, but my proficiency at Jeopardy and trivia fades, movies like this are the real horror movies.  How bad can things get?  At 28, 38, or 48 I probably would not have been as moved as I was just days from turning 68.  I also have to confess that I had to go a you tube video to explain the movie.  I find myself doing that more and more.

As for Hopkins’ Oscar win, my comment is this.  He is brilliant, but I can’t help but think that any number of actors could have been as effective in this role.  Boseman’s performance was one that I just couldn’t see anyone else doing as well.  That’s my two cents.

The Mole Agent – 9

A great companion piece to The Father, this is a Chilean film that got an Oscar nomination for Best Documentary, although I found it hard to believe as a documentary.  The film centers on 85 year old Sergio who is recruited to go undercover in a nursing home to investigate abuse. It’s a wonderful story and the filming is so realistic that it just doesn’t play like a documentary.  It’s almost too good. 

What Sergio finds is a world of loneliness and family abandonment.  If you’re old, but feeling like you’re going to hang around for a long time, The Father and The Mole Agent combine for a double feature that will give you a whole lot more questions than answers about how you can script your twilight years.

Minari – 10

This Oscar nominated film is the story of a Korean family who moves from California to Arkansas in the 1980’s to try to raise Korean produce on a plot of land that the father has purchased.  The less than enthusiastic family is joined by the wife’s grandmother, (Oscar winner for supporting actress Youn Yuh-jung – who is hilarious) and a local helper (an almost unrecognizable Will Patton).  Together they try to overcome all the adversities and uncertainties that farming must bring.

This is a wonderfully gentle movie.  I spent a year in Arkansas, and the film gets it right in how great the people are there.  You are holding your breath waiting for a bad egg to surface, but the locals are nothing but helpful to the struggling family.  This enjoyable film has more heart that you could ask for.

My Octopus Teacher – 10

The movie that won the Best Documentary Oscar contains probably the most amazing footage I’ve ever seen in a movie.  Day after day for over a year, filmmaker Craig Foster dives into a South African lagoon where he begins a journey of self-discovery led by an Octopus, whose one-year life span is an adventure that Craig gets to document.  Did I mention that the footage is amazing?  If you are not enthralled by this camerawork, you aren’t alive.  It is just unbelievable how close he gets to the octopus, not only physically, but emotionally.  As their relationship develops and the octopus is the hunter and the hunted in the ocean’s ecosystem, I couldn’t help but be moved.  In a year of great documentaries, most about the political and social media world, Netflix pulled this one out of the ocean, and it is riveting.  The Best Picture Oscar has eluded Netflix, but their documentary contributions are just marvelous.

                                      

Always Be My Maybe – 9

What a pleasant surprise to find a rom-com that lives up to the genre.  An Asian comedy about a life long friendship, I found this even better than Crazy Rich Asians.  Ali Wong and Randall Park play childhood sweethearts who have avoided each other for 15 years.  She is a successful restauranter and he still plays in his unsuccessful rock band that he loves.  Charming and funny, when you’re in the mood for a non-Hallmark romance, check this one out.

Roadies and High Fidelity – reprise

For my music loving, music browsing friends just a reminder to check out these two one-season wonders now showing on Hulu.  Roadies, a Cameron Crowe story of the support team behind a touring rock band, flew under the radar on its initial Showtime run, and High Fidelity didn’t get a second season, but that’s ok, because the first seasons would be hard to top.  I’ve got to confess, I’ve binged these all the way through, twice.  They both have heart, and moments of brilliance, and if you are one of those people who miss record stores, from Tower Records to the local store, these are for you.

How to Fix the Oscars

This year’s Oscars, with its all-time low viewing audience, somehow was able to put together a finale even more credibility-shaking than the Moonlight – LaLa Land debacle of a few years ago.  The producers got into the prognosticating business and they were so sure that the late Chadwick Boseman was going to win and the night would end with tears, they stupidly moved Best Actor to the last award and got what they were asking for – a huge letdown when Anthony Hopkins won, and he wasn’t even there to accept his award.  He was sure too, I guess. 

What a mess.  It was heartbreaking for us movie fans who still love this bullshit, and we know that’s what it is.  But, all award shows have lost their appeal.  Maybe its backlash over the political statements (and this one was heavy with that.)  Maybe it’s the inherent unfairness of trying to single out a performance as “best.”  Maybe it’s the rise of streaming and the fact that award shows haven’t figured out just how to sort that out.

I don’t know the answer to getting the audience back, so I’m going to just offer up some suggestions on how the show can get better, because let’s face it, it can’t get much worse.

1.     Go back to the host.  Find someone who isn’t snarky or swarmy, and just has some nice appeal.  And make sure he or she loves movies.

2.      Do what you do best.  American movies became beloved because of their musicals.  Take a cue from the Tony’s (and from Kelly Clarkson) and start the show with music.  Where do most actors start?  In local musical theater.  Gather up all these great singers and dancers and put on a show.  I’m thinking of a whole crew of superstars who are great, but rarely get to sing in a movie like:  Ann Hathaway, Emily Blunt, Amanda Seyfried, Evan Rachel Wood, Kristen Bell, Gwyneth Paltrow, Anna Kendrick, Katy Sagal, Emma Rossum, Emma Stone, Emma Watson.  And that’s just the women.  Hell, you could do it with just Emma’s.  Next year we’ll do the men.   Maybe they could do a medley of the best song nominees, or just a great production number. 

3.      They hit on something this year in asking people what their favorite movie is.  Start right now and tour the nation.  I’d be glad to tell somecatone about my favorites, and take us all and put together a clip package to end all clip packages.  Use it in the advertising.

4.      Remind us why we love movies.  More movies, less talk.   Highlight great winners of the past along with the nominees in each category.  I’d almost consider pre-filming the Thank you speeches to contain them to a time limit. 

5.      Never, Never prognosticate.  And no one should ever be giving out an award they have an interest in.  As big a supporter as I was for the Sound of Metal, I did not like Riz Ahmed presenting the Oscar for Best Sound.

6.      Modern it up.  The graphics could be jazzed up.  Maybe it’s even time to sponsor the awards.  Here’s what I mean:

The Katherine Hepburn Best Actress Award goes to …..
The Jason Robards Best Supporting Actor Award goes to ,,,,
The Frank Capra Best Director Award goes to…

It could be a one-year experiment.  There’s no where to go but up.

Lastly, hire a great producer.  I’m available.

One final word.  As many of you know, I’ve been trying to watch the top 250 films of all time as selected by film critics from all over the world in the Sight and Sound Poll, last released in 2012 and due out again in 2022.

For my next blog I’m going to give you the gift of my top 250 favorite films.  Check it out.  I predict you will think I’ve lost my mind.

In closing here’s my all-time favorite Oscar production number, from 1979:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fyZkOHcjyak

 

Enjoy!